• you're a warrior • { demi lovato fanfiction }

- chapter fourty four -

• Demi

"Is she dead?!" I yelled in distress catching my family's attention. They all tried to compose themselves but failed as they all choked on their sobs. "S-Sweetie, I-" I shushed her. "I don't want to be told it's going to be okay because I know it's not." I said, sitting down on a chair. I rubbed my temple as thoughts swirled around my head like a tornado. I stared at the empty hospital bed as my bottom lip began to quiver. I lost my baby girl and it was all my fault. I will never forgive myself for this. Ever. I buried my head into my hands. I could feel my tears making small pools in my hands. "D-Demi, y-you never l-let m-me finish." My mom choked out. I picked my head up to look at my mom. She was drying her tears and then took another Kleenex and dried mine. She clasped my hands in hers and kneeled on the ground. "Earlier her heart monitor had flatlined.. And then all these medical workers rushed in and rushed her away. We were so confused but we knew something went terribly wrong. Then we saw her doctor pacing back and fourth and he was rubbing his hands over his face. So we went and asked him about Sierra.. He said that she o-only has a five percent chance of living. That's all we know, baby." I stared at a wall blankly, taking all of what she said in. "A five percent chance?!" I yelled, slapping a hand over my face. "Are you kidding me?! This can't happen! She can't die!" I yelled. The anger towards myself kicked in. I stood up and paced around the room and began to panic. "Dallas, take Maddie out." I heard my mom whisper. I watched as they slipped out of the room. "Baby, s-" I shook my head and cut her off. "I don't want to hear it. Just the both of you leave.. I need to be alone." I said, my voice trembling in attempt to keep myself together. They looked slightly hurt but I think they understood. They nodded and left the room. They closed the door on their way out and disappeared. I couldn't keep it in any longer. I slid down the wall and buried my head in my hands. Sobs wrecked throughout my body. I trembled in the corner as I bawled my eyes out. I hated myself. I was so stupid and selfish. How could I have let those words fall out of myself? I couldn't comprehend the anger I had towards myself. All I wanted right now was to hold Sierra in my arms and everything just be okay. But no, I had to go and mess everything up. It was completely silent in the room. In this case, silence wasn't golden due to the voices in my head that were creeping up on me. 'Demi' I shook my head as my hands trembled in fear. I couldn't give up. I had gone so far and I will not give up no matter what I go through. 'Just do it, you messed everything up.' I clenched my hands into fists, my fingernails digging into my hand. "No." I whispered and un clenched my fists. The voices got louder and instinctively I screamed. It was the only was to get them to be quiet. I sobbed and fell to the ground again. I was overwhelmed to the point I went numb. Shutting the feelings down that had brought me to this breakdown. I laid down on the ground and curled up into a ball. All I wanted was Sierra. That's all I want. It was one thing to see someone die, but another thing to see someone die because of you. I sobbed and sobbed into my hands until I eventually drifted away into a dreamless sleep..

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"Demi, sweetheart, wake up." My mom said softly whilst shaking me. "No." I groaned and turned on my side. "Demi, come on." My mom said. "Why?" I mumbled. "Because you've been asleep for ten hours and the doctors can't get past you." I shot up and looked at the bed. I sighed in relief at the sight of Sierra. "She's alive?" I asked. My mom smiled and nodded. "Yep. It took a lot of work but they were able to keep her alive. It was a miracle." She looked over at Sierra. "She's so strong." I nodded. "I know. I can't believe it." I breathed out. I pushed myself off the ground and hesitantly approached the bed. I watched as her chest rose and fell, signaling she was alive. I picked up her limp hand and held it in mine as a tear slipped out. I was too close to losing her but she pulled through. Again. I rubbed her soft hand in mine and crouched down beside her. "Please wake up. I'm so sorry." I whispered and kissed her hand. A doctor walked through the door and I quickly stood up. He looked so worn out and tired. A pang of guilt hit me. If I hadn't said those words none of this would've happened. Sierra wouldn't be on a death bed, doctors and surgeons wouldn't be drained of energy, and my family wouldn't have to sacrifice their time to deal with all this. "Well, looks like she's in a coma." He said tiredly. I nodded and bit my lip. "For how long?" I quietly asked. He sighed. "Can't really tell. Could be a day, could be shorter. Maybe even months." I nodded and silence filled the room. The doctor cleared his throat. "Uh, obviously this was from suicide, so do you know what pushed her this far?" I gulped and nodded. "Uhm, I, uh, said some words to her and I think that pushed her, uh, too far." I said quietly. He pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. "Do you expect her to forgive you?" Was he crazy?! Who on earth would expect someone to forgive them in a situation like this?! "No! Of course not!" I snapped. My mom gave me a look. "Demi!" She hissed. I turned my attention back to the doctor. "Sorry." He nodded. "It's okay. Well, I think it would be best if Sierra went and stayed with some family for a little bit." My heart dropped. Of course. "Well, shouldn't that be up to Sierra?" I asked as calmy as I could. He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, so I guess we'll see when she wakes up." I nodded. "Okay, thanks." I said. He smiled. "You're welome." He then left the door and I turned to look at my family. "Well, that's that." I breathed out and plopped down on a chair. My mom smiled sympathetically and rubbed my back. "It will all be okay Demi. Whatever happens, happens and it will be for the best. Until then we can pray." I shoved my head into my hands and began to pray. Hours had passed and just as I was about to call it a night, a voice interjected. "Demi?"

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Ooh, another cliffhanger ;). It could be anyone. So, let's do this. Whoever is the FIRST one to guess right will get a shoutout. AND, you guys passed the goal again! Ah, I love you all soooooooo much! Let's see if you guys can keep it up! Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Also, if any of you wants to talk, don't be afraid to message me. :) Stay strong and God loves you!

Next Update : Monday
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