• you're a warrior • { demi lovato fanfiction }

- chapter twenty nine -

Demi's p.o.v

The sun made its way through the window, hitting me right in the eye. I groaned and nuzzled my head into my pillow. All I wanted to do was sleep, due to the deprivation I had been in the last month or so. Not taking your medication can really mess everything up. In more ways than one. I rolled over and bumped into Sierra. I smiled at her and brushed her hair out of her face. She started to rustle about in her sleep. Her face was in deep thought. "Have.." She whispered. I narrowed my eyes and listened in. "Have t-to.... To cut." My heart sunk at the last word. I wish she didn't have to go through this. I looked over at her wrist which was bandaged. I gently unwrapped it and gasped at the sight of her wrist. There were deep gashes...everywhere. These looked suicidal. The scabs were a deep purple. "Baby..." I murmured. "Yeah mom?" I smiled. "Morning baby girl." She snuggled into me and slung her arm around me. "I love you." Three words. That's all it takes to make me smile. "Right back at you." I said and planted a kiss on her forehead. There was a quiet knock on the door. "Come in!" I yelled. The door slowly creaked open and Madison shyly stepped in. "Hey baby, come here." She blushed slightly and walked over. Sierra scooted over as did I and Madison joined us. "Good morning Maddie." I said while playing with her hair. "Morning." She murmured. Sierra sat up slowly and stretched. "I'm going to go take my shower." She said in her morning voice. I nodded as she went over to her bag. After a while of talking with Maddie she left and I was left with my thoughts for company. Sierra had been in there for a while now and I was getting worried. I walked over to the bathroom door and listened in. Soft desperate sobs came ringing in my ears. I panicked and jiggled the doorknob which luckily was unlocked. Sierra was slumped against the wall emotionlessly staring at her arm. May I say, gashed and bleeding arm. I felt guilt wash over me. I remembered what she said earlier, saying that she had to cut but it didn't even cross my mind when she left. It was a complete accident. I've been forgetting everything lately. I got down on my knees and crawled over to Sierra, gently taking the blade out of her hand. It hurt me mentally to even look at her wrist. She's been getting deeper and deeper. And one of these time she might go too far. She shakily stood up and made her way over to the sink. Once she wrapped her wrist up again, she just stood there with her head down and fiddled with her fingers. I gently lifted her head up "Baby, I'm not mad at you." She just shrugged and walked out of the bathroom. I ran my hand through my hair and fought through the tears. I took a deep breath and returned to the bedroom. Sierra was face down on the bed so I sat down next to her and started to gently rub her back. She sighed loudly. "Please. Just stop." I took my hand off of her back. "I'm sick of me causing drama, so just stop caring." My heart sunk. "I could never stop caring about you." She shook her head and rolled over. "Everything would be easier if you didn't care." She whispered. "No, you'd be dead." She raised her eyebrows. "That's the point." I put my hand over my face. "Baby... It's not the answer." I whispered. "Yeah, yeah it is." I removed my hand and put it under her chin, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes met with mine. That's the thing, if you know a person well enough you can simply just look at each others eyes and know what they're feeling. I think that's a beautiful thing. "I wish you could see how beautiful and wonderful you are." She looked down. "Your personality is so beautiful. You can be funny, sweet, adorable, mature, and sassy. But you're always humble, and loving. And you're looks? Your dark brown eyes tell me more than your words ever will. Your dark brown hair is so soft and long and beautiful. I could play with it for hours." Sierra's face turned pink and her lips turned up into a small smile. "And your smile? Oh, well your smile lights up the whole room." Sierra looked up at me smiled. "That's the smile I'm talking about." I said and tapped her nose. She sighed happily and wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you." I rested my head on her head. "Your very welcome baby. "

// Sierra's p.o.v

'@sierralovato how can you not see you're ruining Demi? You're keeping her from her dream, goodness you fat slob. Just go kill yourself already please.' I leaned forward and rested my chin on my hand, scrolling through the endless hate in my mentions. I didn't want to stall Demi's career but I'm doing a pretty good job of doing so aren't I? After reading some more mentions, the anger towards myself grew. I shut the computer off and sunk into the chair. I ruined everything. I ran my finger through my hair and sighed. Well, I better go downstairs or something. Instead of locking myself inside a room. Just as I was walking out, the door swung open and hit me square in the face. I tumbled backwards and held my face in pain. Demi gasped and set down a picnic basket. A picnic basket? "Oh my goodness baby. I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" I nodded and removed my hands from my face. Demi wrapped her arms around me. "So, I want to take you somewhere that's really ....sentimental to me." She said, trying to find the right words. I nodded. "Sure." Demi Smiled at me. "Alright, let's go then." Demi picked up the basket and made our way outside. We went out the back way and started walking towards some woods. As we walked in the woods, we just talked about random stuff until we came to a halt. Demi looked up at a big and tall oak tree. I followed her gaze and saw, close to the top, some wood nailed to a tree in the shape of a floor. You could probably only fit like two people on there. There wasn't anything else. No railings, nothing. My eyes widened. "We're going up there?" She nodded. "Yep. It's not that bad once you're up there." I scoffed. "It's bad enough thinking about being up there." She shook her head and smiled. She went around to the other side of the tree and starting climbing up the ladder. Need I mention, she still had a picnic basket in her hand. I started to worry. "Don't fall." I shouted. "I won't." She yelled back. Once she made it up there, she looked down and gestured for me to come up. I sighed and started up the ladder. I reminded myself constantly to not look down and I'd be fine. Once I made it up, I shakily sat down as close as possible to Demi. I looked down and that was definitely the wrong move. I gulped. "This isn't safe." I said bluntly. "I sat up here all the time when I was younger and I never fell off." I sighed. "Who built this?" Demi grinned sheepishly. "Uh..I did." I looked over at some trees. "Another reason to be scared." I said quietly. "Hey!" Demi said and playfully slapped my arm. I smiled at her. "Anyways. I'm sure you came here for some reason." She nodded. "Well, when I was younger I always came here to escape everything. I could just sit up here for hours." She said with a recalling look on her face. "It was so calming. The birds chirping, the wind." She sighed. "And I felt like sharing it with you." I smiled. "Thank you." She wrapped her arms around me. "There's one more thing.." I raised an eyebrow. "What?" Demi kissed my forehead. "I know you. I know your favorite colors and your favorite movie. I know the general idea of your background. But I never got your story..." I let out a long breath of air. "My story?" She nodded. "Like when you started self harming and your eating disorder and just your story in general." I nodded. "Oh. O-Okay." Here's the problem. I've blocked out my past as much I possibly could, along with the emotions. I figured that maybe, if I block out everything and the painful emotions, that I would be happy again. But, it didn't do anything for me. Where Am I even supposed to start? I fidgeted with my hands. "Ummm...Well, I don't remember too much, actually." Demi pursed her lips and nodded. Knowing that I had to give her something, I digged way back as far as I could. Rejuvenating the memories I so badly never wanted to remember again. "Alright. Well, I don't remember why I was put in the orphanage but I do know I was around two. From then on I remember going to several foster homes. They all...They all abused me." I said quietly. "All accept one. But even then, if I did something wrong, they would make me sleep out in the shed. It seemed much better than being abused, so I went along with it." I took a deep breath in. I couldn't cry and I won't cry. "That was when I was about six. After several and many more abusing foster homes, the worst one came." I cringed at the thought. I felt Demi put a gentle hand on my back. I gulped. "He was the worst. He had abused me many times while I lived there. And then it came. The one I call the final blow." The Final blow to the small ounce of hope I held onto. "He took me downstairs and he told me that the real world was pain. So he decided to demonstrate that.. physically." I closed my eyes recalling that night. "He was yelling at me and then he threw a beer bottle at me,smacked me, and slammed me against the wall. Then he.-" I cut myself off. It hurt to much too say it. "He threw me across the room to where thousands of nails layed." I said quietly. "And when I tried to get up, he threw a pvc pipe at me right at my head. And that was it. He picked me up, opened the door, and literally threw me on the concrete." I sighed. "I remember laying there thinking, 'how can I rid of this pain?' and then 'pain' just appeared in my head. As an eight year old, I was confused. How could you get rid of pain by pain? Then that voice just asked me 'How do you emotionally feel?' and I said. 'Hurt.'" I remember the words that still stay with me to this day. "And it told me. 'Subdue the mental pain with physical pain.' And I just went with it. It wasn't much, probably just a mere scratch. But obviously the self harming developed." I sighed. "The eating disorder? That came later when I was maybe nine or ten. I was being bullied in school. Physically and Verbally. So I eventually just caved in." I ran my fingers through my hair. "So yeah. That's pretty much it." I said, finally getting enough courage to look up at Demi. Tears were rolling down her face. "Demi, please don't cry over me." She looked a little surprised. "How can I not? I can not believe how strong you are regardless of all the stuff you went through." She said wrapping her arms around me. I scoffed. "I'm clearly not strong. I even proved it this morning." She shook her head. "You are one of the strongest girls I know. No joke." I sighed as collapsed into her arms. "Demi?" I asked. "Yeah." I racked my brain to find the right words. "If I ever come off as ungrateful, I don't mean it. I just I feel as if no matter how much I love I receive, nothing will fix me. But I really do love you and love that you love me the way that you do." Cheesy, I know, but true "So, I'm really sorry." Demi hugged me tighter. "I understand you, baby girl. But how about this love? Will it fix you?" She said and then started tickling me. I fell back, while laughing, as she continued to tickle me. "Or how about this?" She said, while kissing my cheek and forehead. I sighed happily. Then she wrapped me up in her arms and held me tightly. "I love you so much, baby girl." I smiled. "I love you too."

//

Okay, I'm really sorry about the late update. Ahhh. Anyways, I know I've said this several times, but I o really will try hard to update on schedule. Thank you so much for reading! I love you guys and stay strong! You're beautiful. God Loves You!

Next Update : Saturday

Early Update : 38 votes and 6 comments.