• you're a warrior • { demi lovato fanfiction }

- chapter twenty four -

Sierra's p.o.v

After we went through all the check in,security stuff, and waiting for an hour. Our flight was finally ready. I picked up my purse and slung it over my head and started walking with the group, not exactly sure where I was going. Demi took held of my hand and started basically pulling me. I laughed to myself and playfully hit her. "Dems, I'm not dog." She gave a small smile. "Well you seem like a lost one." I rolled my eyes. "Ooh the sass is real." Demi added. I closed my eyes. "Demi, don't start it." She smirked and rolled her eyes. "You're silly." We stepped onto the walkway that was connected to our plane. I let go of Demi's hand and took a seat next to Madison. She smiled and then smirked at Demi. Demi crossed her arms and pouted. "I see the faithfulness, Sierra." I let out a small giggle. "Here I'll fix it. Mama, I love you." A smile took over her face. "That's better. But do you want to make me completely happy?" I reached out and gave her a huge hug. "Thank you baby girl." She then took the seat across from me where Dallas was sitting. I raised an eyebrow. The only thing between us was a 6 ft. walkway. She gave an innocent smile. I shook my head and smiled. Madison and I started talking about everything and anything. She's a really nice girl. I understood last time we saw each other. Madison didn't expect another girl there. She was expecting just Demi. But now I think we just put that behind us. There was an uncomfortable silence between her and I. I could tell that Madison was going to say something. "Hey Sierra?" I nodded. "Hm?" I replied, turning toward her. "I really am sorry about last time. It was really selfish and wrong of me. Especially since I have a sister who went through that stuff..." She started to hesitate when she got to "that stuff." I gave a small smile to her. "It's completely fine. I understand how you wanted a just you and her time. I get it. There's no hard feelings." I said as reassuringly as I could. Relief fled to her face. "Thanks." She smiled. "No problem." I said, relaxing in my seat. I started to close my eyes, but I could practically feel her looking at my scars, and it made me very uncomfortable and self conscious. I tried to casually pull down my sleeve. I stole a quick glance at Madison, and sure enough she was looking at them. But once I pulled my sleeve down, her head shot back up. I started at the seat in front of me. I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I wasn't mad at her. It's not a secret that people will look at scars. They'll ponder on them, wondering how they got them. Madison knew darn right well what they were. I mea,n lots of people cut themselves on their wrists. Not all, but lots. Sometimes you can just tell, if people cut themselves. Sometimes you can't. But anytime someone looks at my scars, I feel like they're judging; like they'll hate me. I started to recall what happened today. The whole motivational speak. And suddenly, I could creep on me. That confusion and nervousness. That anxiety. Do I want to stop self harming? No. But I have no idea at the same time. Do I want to start eating again? No. But I have no idea. I can't live with out either of them. It was my oxygen. I can't let go. My thoughts were going crazy. I couldn't tune them out, no matter how hard I tried. I squeezed my eyes shut, as a tear rolled down my face. The thoughts took control of me. And there was nothing I could do. And these thoughts rarely left me. I'd rather feel nothing, then what comes with these thoughts. I pulled my phone out and plugged my earbuds in, hoping the music would be able to cease my thoughts. I tapped shuffle. 'Medicine by 'Daughter' came on. Here comes more tears. I wanted to exit out of it, so I wouldn't have to feel even more emotions. But something, something about this song just pulls you toward it. It's such a beautiful song you could put it on repeat for hours. Music is such a beautiful thing. The song was deep. But it just started to calm me down. Music is a remedy... And with that I started to drift into sleep.

// n i g h t m a r e

It was pitch black. Completely pitch black. I'm not just saying that. I couldn't see anything. Where am I? A voice started whispering. I wasn't scared however. I couldn't make it out though. The voice started to get louder. "You're worthless, can't you see that." I kept completely silent. "You've burden everyone around you. All you are is a mistake. Slit your wrists. At least you're developing a talent. Because you have only two. Gaining weight and doing what is right to yourself. Cutting." The voice got clouder and even more clearer. "Are you blind? You're just an idiot!" The voice started to yell. "All the pain? You deserve it!? The sleepless nights? You deserved it! The voice started to scream. "Kill yourself!" The voice lowered it's voice almost a whisper. "You see, dear, it's not a war. Whether you win it or not. It's good for nothing."

// r e a l i t y

I shot up with sweat on my face and tears on my face. Madison looked stunned. "A-Are you okay?" She asked, confusion and concern in her voice. I nodded as my breathing start to quicken. "Demi?!" Madison said loudly. I shook my head. Demi looked up smiling, but that was quickly replaced with concern. "Mads, sit over here." Demi said, pointing at her seat. Madison quickly got up and sat by Dallas. Demi quickly sat down, taking hold of my hands. "Baby, breathe. In and out." She said. It wasn't helping at all. The nightmare just kept replaying. I held onto Demi tightly. She wrapped her arms tightly around me. "Baby, breathe." Tears started to pour down harder. "S-Stop I-It." I choked out through my tears. "Sweetheart, look at me." I looked her straight in the eyes. With my eyes, I pleaded for help. Demi's eyes were evident with tears. She picked me up and set me on her lap. She held me tighter, if that were possible. "Baby.." She murmurred. A few more minutes passed, and I started to calm down. Demi rubbed my back soothingly. "Baby girl, what happened?" She asked, and planted a kiss on my forehead. "A nightmare." I whispered. "What happened in it?" I closed my eyes and shuddered at the thought of it. Demi noticed and held me tighter. "If you don't want to, you don't need to." I shook my head. "I w-was in a p-pitch black r-room a-and this voice j-just a-appeared. It started o-out j-just whispering but started to r-raise i-it's v-voice. A-And i-it was telling h-how worthless I w-was and t-that I should k-kill myself." I whispered. "Baby, look at me." I looked at her. "Whatever it said. Don't listen to it. You're beautiful." We just left it like that. It was a comfortable silence. I could feel myself starting to fall asleep, but I wouldn't let myself. "Baby, just go to sleep it will be okay. I'll be right here the whole time." I shook my head. "N-No I c-can't." She sighed and started to stroke my hair. "My Dear-." I pushed myself away from her and sat on my seat, as I could feel my breath quicken. Demi looked hurt. "Don't call me that." I whispered. Demi just nodded, and opend her arms again. I climbed back into them. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "It's fine, baby." I closed my eyes. "That's what the voice called me in the dream." I whispered. I felt Demi nod against me. "I'll never call you that if it bothers you." She began stroking my hair. I wanted to sleep so bad, but I didn't want another nightmare. I shook myself awake, widening my eyes as wide as I could. "Baby, stop doing that to yourself. If I start to see you getting scared. I'll wake you up. I promise. I'll never take my eyes off of you." I nodded as I felt myself, drifting into sleep...

// Demi's p.o.v

When I said I would never take my eyes off of her, I meant it. Never once, did my eyes leave her. Except to blink and minor things like that. I could care less about the text messages that were multiplying quickly. All I cared about, was that my daughter was safe and sound. I prayed while she was sleeping. Praying that she wouldn't have a nightmare We were almost there, a mere twenty minutes away. And everybody on 1st class was restless. And I'm pretty sure every class was as well. Sierra started to wake up, as her hands went up to her eyes, rubbing them. She blinked her eyes a few times, adjusting to the lighting. "D-Demi?" She asked hoarsely. "Yeah babe?" She began to sit up. "How long was I asleep for?" I smiled at her. "At least for four hours." Her eyes widened at me. "You're kidding right?" I shook my head. "That was a while." She said while stretching out." I pulled out my phone. 140 New Messages. Wow. Ugh, I don't have time to answer these. I put my phone back into my pocket. Then, through the speakers of the plane, it notified we were landing. Thank goodness.

//

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