I should be your Beta, not your Mate

Epilogue 2.0

*Warning beforehand: This is a chapter that is written from Cassian's pov, so some scenes may repeat but they are new scenes too*

And it will be pretty long. More than 15 k words!

Defective Beta

It was too early and I rather stayed in my warm bed. Furthermore, the rainy weather made me more tired than I already was.

»Cas dear, could you finally get up?« My mother stuck her head with the brown hair through my door and only got my annoyed grumbling as an answer.

»Don't act like that, young man!« she thundered and stomped to my bed only to pull the blanket from my body.

»Mom! Only five more minutes!«

Loudly she snorted and went to my closet to pull out pants, underwear and a shirt and threw the clothes on me.

»You said that ten minutes ago too and now move your lazy ass! If not, you will get to know me, ill-mannered brat!«

With those words she stomped out of my room and left me alone.

She was upset in my presence for some time now.

I already had an assumption that I would get a little sibling that I would enjoy on one side but on the other side I was happy to not have a screamer in our house that would steal my sleep.

I wouldn't ask her too, I didn't want to make her hate me even more. But today, she was more aggressive than ever.

I was sure, Ellinor Crimson was glad about it, that she was only two years apart with her youngest brother, my best friend. Due to that she was a loud child herself when Caleb was a screaming baby.

I didn't want to think about the oldest son of the Crimson's, I wanted him to disappear from my mind forever but he wouldn't go away just like the indescribable goosebumps on my skin.

Growling I got up and tousled my dark hair.

He wouldn't occupy my thoughts for much longer, as much as the thought pained me. Soon I had my birthday and then I would find my mate.

Just, I didn't want a female mate at my side. I thought they were, of course, attractive, but Kyran was... Kyran was so much more.

I could never explain in words what I felt for him. But one thing was clear, I wanted him and that with every cell of my body. And still, I wasn't allowed and I couldn't. He was my Beta, not able to bear the next heir for the pack, not with me.

I was aware that I had already fallen for him for many years and the older I got the more frustrated I got.

I hoped to forget him if I distanced him from me, harassed and bullied him. But I couldn't forget him.

My whole body wanted him and my feelings went on rampage when he was close. I couldn't, I had to think about the well-being of the pack and about his well-being.

How would he feel if I confessed my feelings for him, maybe he would accept them and then on my birthday I would find someone else as my mate? A woman that I didn't want because I only wanted him.

Quickly I dressed myself before my scary other nagged me again and followed the hallway, past the stairs and to the kitchen.

»Morning,« I mumbled and looked to my father who only looked briefly over the edge of his newspaper but didn't greet me back. My mother put a cup down on the table and kissed his cheek which made him smile.

You could feel the love between them and something inside of me screamed that I wanted to be just like that with Kyran. Wanted to show him my love every day, every hour, every minute and second.