𝐒𝐩𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥 ✭ TMR Love Triangle

35 - Waking Up

My eyes shot wide open. Immediately I sat straight up and looked around in panic, trying to see where I was and if I was still in the memories. Once I noticed the familiar styled, black hair sitting on the other side of the hut I was in, I relaxed a bit. Minho slept in a chair, his cheeks a little chubby again.

I admired him for a few seconds until I noticed someone holding my hand. Newt. I almost smiled at seeing the boy, but then all the memories came back. Especially Janson telling me to kill Newt in the end.

I pulled my hand away from him after I realized everything. I couldn't come near him. What if the creators would let me do something?

Tears formed in my eyes from the thoughts of everything. I couldn't kill Newt. I would rather die myself. If I killed Newt, I would never forgive myself. But I didn't know what else to do. If I didn't do anything there would definitely be consequences. Worse ones than before. If the creators already turned violent on Newt, how would they react to me not following their orders? I couldn't escape the place and also wouldn't be able to avoid Newt that easily. He would want to talk to me. He was my friend after all. And I was in love with him, which made it ten times worse. How could I get it over my heart to kill such a kind person like Newt?

While I thought about ways to avoid the awful stuff, tears started to drop down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them. Once I even started sobbing quietly, I tried to mute them in my pillow.

And how would Minho react to all of it? I wasn't going to tell them, of course. But if I killed Newt, Minho would hate me. But I knew I wasn't going to kill Newt. No matter if the consequences would be my own death.

My shoulders started to shake at the horrible thoughts in my mind, but when one certain question came up, I didn't even care if the others could hear me. I sobbed loudly, taking gasps of air in between.

What if the consequence is the creators killing Minho if I didn't kill Newt?

I turned my back to the others and continued to cry like crazy. I couldn't help it. After everything that happened in my memories, I couldn't take it anymore. I was a spy! A shucking traitor!

I didn't even hear someone behind me until they lay a hand on my shoulder. I shook it off, crying even louder.

"Hey, hey, Shebean." The voice was soothing. "It's okay. You're awake."

I wish I wasn't!

The person I knew was Minho, moved even closer to me. "Don't," I whispered, scared of what would happen if anyone moved closer.

Minho seemed taken aback for a second. My sobs got worse by the second. Finally, I started feeling a little at home in the Glade and now this happened. It was awful.

"It's okay."
I felt Minho sit down on the bed.

"It's not okay." I cried. Minho didn't reply for a while. Instead, he gently grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?" Minho moved even closer.

I resisted. "I don't want to-." It turned into another sob. I didn't want to talk about it or be in Minho's arms at that point. I never knew what kind of things the creators could do to control me. I didn't want to hurt anyone, especially not Minho and Newt.

Minho sat down cross-legged and pulled me into his arms and lap. I sat there, knees up to my chest with Minho's arms wrapped around me. Though I was scared, I also felt safe in his arms. Just like with Newt.

Slowly my sobs got quieter and less heavy. Minho caressed my back a bit. "Try to sleep, okay, Shebean?" He whispered.

I nodded and wanted to crawl out of Minho's arms, but he didn't lose his grip. He gave me a half smile. "I'm sure this is a lot more comfortable than that bed you've been lying in for what, two days?"