I packed my stuff up that I had at Monsters house and the kids things. I haven't seen him or heard from him since yesterday when he said all that hurtful stuff to me.
I felt like me and my children needed to get out of New York. I was leaving to Texas tonight....I wanted to go home! I never should of moved out here!
I took our bags to the car and another car pulled up the driveway. I stopped doing what i was doing to see who the fuck this was. After a few moments Monster got out the car. I finished picking the bags up from the ground and put them in the trunk.
Can I talk to you? He asked softly behind me. I ignored him like he wasn't there. "I deserve that!" "I don't need you to talk just listen!" "About yesterday I'm sorry! I had no business talking to you like that or saying any of that shit I said. I was completely wrong and out of line. You haven't done nothing but love me unconditionally and I just continued to shit on you and disrespect you. I ain't mean a word I said yesterday! I was pissed and I didn't wanna hear nothing. I just needed to be alone. But I couldn't fuckin think straight after I heard the way you cried. I can't get that shit out my head. Besides our kids you are the best thing that has ever and I mean ever happened to me. Your the most amazing person in the world. You dropped 10 million dollars with no hesitation in the drop of a second to get me out of jail. You don't deserve nun of this! And I don't want you to think I'm unappreciative because I'm not Queen I appreciate you so much the shit hurts. Knowing that I have to live without you everyday that shit kills me. You don't know how much I missed you. You don't know how bad I wanna kiss you and hug you everyday all day. You don't know how this shit feel to want a person so damn bad but you know you can never have them!" "Can you stop putting bags away for just one minute and listen to me Queen?" He grabbed my bags and turned my face to look at him. My eyes was so teary and I tried so hard not to let them fall.
I'm leaving to move back to Texas tonight and the kids are coming with me! I said bluntly looking at him.
What?! No you can't! Baby I...I'm sorry you can't!
Look I know I been hurting you and all of this shit isn't making anything any better please don't leave me.
Don't leave you? You called me a bitch, a dumb bitch! You said you hate me and for one second I knew you was angry but the look in your eyes told me you ment it.
I did not! He grabbed me and grabbed my chin to make me look at him. "I love you so much Queen. I'm sorry and if you want me to beg you I will!"
You love me Ja'Kari...you love me?
Yes baby I love you, you know I do with all my fuckin heart. I can't live without you and them. This shit is driving me fuckin crazy. You not wanting to be with me, everything that's been happening, now you wanna leave I can't handle this...
I just need some time..
Time for what Queen? I'm literally begging you baby I love you.!
I love you too baby!
Please stay here I'll do whatever it takes baby. I'll come home, I'll build you a new home. I'll quit the game, I'll do whatever and I mean it.
You mean it?
I do! Baby I do! I just wanna be with you Queen.
