This Time Around

Chapter 86 - Kenneth

Wednesday, August 20th

Today is Keo's birthday and we are all planning to meet at the grave today. I wanted to show Layla the cover, Sunday but she and Preston had to stay in Miami for a few extra days. Today will actually be her first day back to see him since they left.

Claudia and a very reluctant Kino and Keli helped me get all of the details together for the small celebration we are planning today. Claudia and Chastity, Lay's therapist, believe that this will allow Layla to properly grieve and move past her depression.

I was an awful husband to her, but I was her friend. Best friend. I think that we are forcing too much on her at one time. I suggested that they just allow me and her to have a moment to ourselves, since we need to have a private conversation anyway.

"Roman, was that all of it?"

I look back towards the door and see Denise come into my studio.

"Yes, that was it. The final one will be delivered to the manor on his death anniversary, Saturday."

"I can't wait to see what you did. I don't know why you are being so damn secretive. You know you share things with me, don't worry about Rome."

She is always trying to get info out of me so that when my Pops finds out, she can say that she already knew. It's like a competition between them.

"This time I need you to wait just like everyone else, Ma."

"I understand. You want her to have the honor first, and nothing is wrong with that. Do you still feel like this is the wrong way to go about it?"

"Something in my spirit is saying that it's too much at one time. I feel like if she was able to see the grave and we have time to talk, then have the celebration; she would respond a lot better."

"If you feel that strongly about it, why don't you just tell them you don't want it to be a public show? You are grown, this is your child that we are talking about and his mother. If that's what you truly feel, then do that."

I don't want to piss anyone off.

"I'm trying to take advice and do this according to what the professionals are saying. Her therapist believes this will work and I'm not the best judge of what's best for Layla."

"Roman, don't just consider Kehlani. Consider yourself as well. You both were his parents. You have some say in what goes on too. I don't give a damn if you never intended to be a father to him or not.

You were his father. You are his father. Do the same thing you would do in regards to your other children. The problem isn't that you didn't want him because he was here.

The problem is that you welcomed Keith into your heart knowing he wasn't your child. He does not share your blood. Outside of the few people in our circle, no one knows that. They don't doubt you being his father because you accepted him fully.

You have never done that for Keo. He was born with your blood, your dna. You have to fully accept him, just as you do the others. I know that you love him just as much. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I've been here, I have witnessed your grief just as I have for Lani. You just need to finally let the rest of them see it.

Stop letting your guilt control how you show your love for Keo. Be his father."

She's right, I don't feel comfortable asserting myself as Keo's father because I know what my intentions were from the beginning. I have already discussed this with my therapist.

"You're right, Ma. Can I get you to help me with the twins? I'm sure they are going to try and kill me if I cancel everything."

"You are not going to cancel anything, you are going to push the time back. Do what you will normally do on his birthday, but it will just be you and Kehlani. Take a couple of hours and talk, really talk. I want you both to hear each other out, without interruptions. I'm going to send her a message as well. You were best friends at one point, I don't see why you can't get back to that.