That Look (Hiccup x Reader)

99: No Bark, All Bite

"Okay, help me out here." Tuff began as we flew to Berk. "So we're supposed to be mad at Johann for trying to systematically destroy everyone we know and love, right?"

"Correct." Ruff nodded. "I say we drag him underwater behind a school of Scauldrons for ten miles."

'Eh, not a bad idea.'

"I say we turn him inside out and feed him to a flock of Changewings." Snotlout suggested.

"I say, we slowly cut off finger by finger, limb by limb with spines. Then we inject Changewing acid into his veins while boiling his skin off with a Scauldron. If he's still alive, that's when we get Razorwhips to literally pull him in half and slowly let him bleed out. We can then chuck what's left of the corpse into a volcano as an offering to appease the gods." I explained my plan.

Everyone just stopped and stared at me dumbfounded. Everyone, but the twins.

"Ha, I like it, psychotic (Y/n) is back in business!" Tuff grinned.

"She never left." I laughed awkwardly.

"Sorry, sis." Tuff apologized to his sister.

Ruffnut shook her head. "Gotta give credit where credit's due."

"Here's my question." Tuff went on. "Why do I have this nagging feeling of admiration for the guy?"

"That's because you're a moron." Snotlout stated the obvious.

"Yes, perhaps." He agreed. "But consider this. The man is a genius."

"A genius." Ruff repeated.

"A wunderkind."

"Wonder of a kind."

"An enfant terrible."

"Don't know what that means." Ruff finished.

"The direct translation is 'a terrible kid'." I told them.

"He fooled everyone Hiccup, Stoick, Alvin, Dagur, Chicken." Tuff went on. "He even fooled us."

"Like that's hard." I rolled my eyes and then smirked. "Hey, Tuff! It's a Wingmaiden who wants to propose to you!" I yelled and pointed in a random direction.

"What?! Where?!" He gasped and then realized the trickery. "Not cool."

"Not me. I totally saw this coming." Snotlout lied.

"Huh! You did? And you said nothing?" Fishlegs questioned him, sceptically.

"There are times when you must learn the hard way, Fishy. And I find-"

"Shut up, Snotlout!" We all yelled.

Snotlout sighed and I turned my attention to Hiccup who looked rightfully worried.

Spike flew up next to Toothless and I chose my words carefully. "Hiccup, look, your dad hates being made a fool of. We know that. But the sooner we tell him and let him calm down, the better for all of us."

"You're right." He nodded. "I mean, he knows everything that's going on in the Archipelago, right? Maybe he already knows and he's cooled down."

'I wouldn't hold my breath...'

* * *

We stood outside the Chief's hut, whilst horrible yelling seemed to shake the very foundation of the island.

"I'll split his bony butt in two!" Stoick roared and burst out the door.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is the first the Chief's hearing of it." Ruff said.