The White Tiger

Chapter 60

 Ash was quiet for a long time. I could see part of him wanted to tell me. Part of him wanted to get it out. To just....cry...Let out his bottled up emotions...Another part was telling him not to. To keep it to himself.

 "The stronger the fairy, the stronger their abilities are...There are advantages to being strong. But, there are also disadvantages. We aren't born strong. When we gain our abilities at age six, we receive a strength level. It tells us how strong our power is. My power....I was weak. I wasn't always a strong fire fairy. I was actually the weakest in my family. You can imagine how that turned out for me...." he began slowly. 

 "You were made fun of..." I said quietly.

 "I was lucky I had Rose and Elanor. But...It was hard, you know?" I nodded in understanding. I knew what being bullied felt like. It was hard. "I finally decided to try something...When I was eight years old, I'd finally had enough. I began to train and practice my abilities. Rose and Elanor helped. It took a while, but I somehow managed to raise my strength level. No one thought it was possible. I didn't even think it was possible. I was just tired of being made fun of and...training was the only idea I came up with. I actually became stronger than my family. I had become one of the strongest fire fairies in the Mystic Woods."

 "What happened after the war, Ash...?" I asked quietly.

 "The stronger you are, the more energy it takes when you use your abilities....And, the stronger you are when you're a fire fairy, the more fluids you need...I didn't get made fun of. Rose, Kallan, and Elanor never made fun of me. They're even careful when they tease me! I....used a lot of energy that day. In the battle. Protecting the pack, my friends, and my Elanor...It was difficult...I'd never used that much fire power before. I really needed water. But, I didn't pay any attention to my needs. After the battle, I made sure everyone was alright."

 Ash stopped talking and sighed. I waited patiently for him to continue. "I did get a little water. Not as much as I needed, but I got some. But...after the war I just felt....different...weak...It's hard to explain..."

 "You felt different sick wise or you felt different from others...?"

 "Different from others...I didn't feel sick until....." he trained off.

 "You started avoiding drinking fluids." I finished softly.

 He looked up at me. "You knew...? You knew I did this on purpose...?"

 "You're very careful when it comes to getting enough fluids, Ash. We've all gotten to know that about you. And Kallan and Rose told Jay and I.."

 "Oh, great. Now Jay is going to be mad." he buried his face in his hands. 

 I put my hand on his back. "Ash...Jay really cares about you. He isn't mad. Trust me. He's just...worried. Sometimes he might push harder than he should. But it's only because he cares." 

 Ash didn't respond. He finally raised his head, leaning against the wall, his eyes shut. "I've always known I was different from others...I've always hated it...I've always known how destructive my abilities as a fire fairy can be...But I guess I never fully realized it till the war....My abilities are not only destructive to everything around me, but they're destructive to myself..."

 "Why did you avoid drinking...?" 

 "I don't know...I just felt...miserable...I haven't felt so miserable since...Since I was six years old when I got my abilities...I really started feeling down when...When I got some news about my aunt and her family..."

 "What do you mean?" I frowned, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

 "A week after the war, a messenger fairy came to our door. He said...My aunt, cousin, and uncle were....dead..." Ash was panting, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "I-I...They were the only ones in my family that didn't hurt me...That didn't make fun of me...They loved me....And I loved them...I was named after my aunt...Her name was...Ashley....She was weak too...She had been made fun of just like me...My cousin, Calida, wasn't weak, but she wasn't strong either..."

 "Do you know what happened to them...?" I asked, trying to push back my tears. I could see this was hard for Ash to talk about. 

 He shook his head. "All the messenger said, was that they were gone...I-I'll never see them again...That's why I...I avoided drinking...Part of me just wanted to die...I was already feeling down but then when I got the news I just...." He sighed heavily. "I got worse...I...I don't know why I didn't tell anyone...Elanor knew something was bothering me since the war...I didn't want to worry her, I guess...Another part of me didn't want to die...I was hanging on to what little I had left...But...The more time that past, the harder it became...And the harder it became, the less fluids I got...I think you know the rest...."

 He was panting hard, tears rolling down his cheeks. I hugged him tightly. "Just let it out. Cry if you want to. It's ok, Ash...It's ok..." It took a minute, but finally, he cried. Long and hard. I continued to hold him comfortingly. I never let him go. He needed this. 

 "I had no idea he was going through something like this..." I said quietly to Misty.

 "No one knew...." Misty whined. "The important thing now is that he finally told us what's going on...We'll be able to help him...Be there for him...Comfort him...All of us."

 "You think now that he's told us what's going on, he'll tell the others?" I asked.

 Misty nodded. "I think so. At least Elanor, anyway. They're really close. Most likely, he's wanted to tell her so many times, but he never did."

 I nodded in understanding. "Makes sense...He needed someone to hold him and comfort him so bad for so long....And now he's getting the comfort and hug he so desperately needed..." I sighed. "I'm glad he let us in...I just hope he'll let the others in..."

 "I'm glad too...I think he will...Just give him time..." Misty gave me a small smile. I smiled back at her. I was really grateful for her.