Someone Hiding in the Shadows...

28 - The Morning After

The daylight filtering through my eyelids woke me. My head hurt and felt heavy. It felt painful to lift myself upwards, as though a sack of potatoes was resting upon my head.

Wincing in pain as I did so, I cautiously, turned my head sideways. Although, my hands were now released from being tied to the bed; my wrists felt bruised and sore.

I raised my fingers slowly to my head and flinched as I felt the lump to the side of my face. Then I eased the covers of my body, wondering what I would see. The first thing I noticed, I was naked and my body ached all over. Gradually I rolled to the side of the bed. With speed of a tortoise, I raised myself upwards carefully and grabbed my dressing gown from the back of the door, letting it hang over my shoulders.

As I turned, I glimpsed part of my body, in my tall antique mirror, revealing dark bruises covering my arms and legs, and to the right of my eye. I looked as though I had been in a boxing ring and lost.

Oh my God, how was I going to go into work, how would I explain this. Despite the pain, I collapsed into a heap on the floor and sobbed. The action wracked every part of my body. I cried until exhaustion had set in and there was nothing left to give to the effort of more tears.

The unmistakable smell of Jarod's cologne mixed with his sweat hanged on my body. While only days earlier that would have excited me, now it did the opposite.

The need to cleanse my body and shower was over powering. I yearned to erase that layer off my skin he had contaminated. Until I had done so, my head could not clear the fog that surrounded my brain at the moment. I needed to think straight and decide what do.

Cautiously, I turned my head to look back at my alarm clock. It was well past the time I should have departed for work. There was no point it was too late to consider that a viable option taking everything into account. How on earth could I show my face, like this? Just imagine the looks from the "she-cats" at work; the ridicule; the embarrassment. What on earth was I going to do? How could I explain my predicament without breaking down and revealing the truth?

My heart started beating faster and faster. The sound echoed in the ears and I felt myself hyperventilating in panic at the thought of the indignation. I looked deep into my soul and somehow gained the inner strength to force myself to breathe at a slower rate; needing to gain back control. Tears began to fall and I tried to wipe them away but stopped as the even my soft fingertips felt painful on my face.

Regulating my breathing helped a little; it was the one thing I could at this moment control. All I could hear was the sound of my breathing, in and out; the sound of which soothed me like the notes of a child's simple lullaby, as I continued to calm myself, whilst the silent tears fell down my bruised face.

I looked again at the clock. Time was passing by; each time I looked; another half hour had elapsed and I had moved no further forward. I needed to decide what I was going to do. It was fast approaching the time that someone would ring me from the office enquiring on my non-attendance. What should I say?

Pull yourself together woman; I reprimanded myself. Just sitting here in a heap on the floor like this; will resolve nothing. A shower would help and make me feel better, I was sure.

The bathroom beckoned me in and I dropped my robe to the floor and stepped into the shower. The warm water was therapeutic and I started to feel I could function again. I was reluctant to leave the confines of the shower; enjoying eradicating the traces of Jarod from my skin; until all I could smell was the cleansed me mixed with shower gel.

As I exited the shower and gathered clothes together, the panic enveloped me again. The only way I could gain control, was continuing to regulate my breathing. One step at a time; I told myself.

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Many thanks Kimberley S B Lieb

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I posted this song...as this is about fighting back....whatever situation you are in, once you feel you are in a position to gain strength, you can  gain back control of your life...yes you can do it..you just  have to have faith