Can't Let You Go

five:

I was stupefied. I cannot move and I cannot even speak. 

Shit! I just want to go somewhere far kung saan wala ang mommy ni Carlo. His mom is gorgeous and her whole being is screaming of sophistication. She came from a very rich family, no doubt about that. At aminin ko man o hindi, natatakot akong mamaliit. That's inevitable, ano ba naman kasi ako kumpara sa kanila? 

Her eyes landed at me at hindi ko napigilan ang panginginig ng kalamnan ko sa tingin na ibinato nya sa akin. Nakataas ang kilay nya habang mapangmata nya akong sinusuri mula ulo hanggang paa, "And who is this girl, Carlo?"

"Mom, don't scare her off. That's Jeraldine." Carlo protested, which made his mother look at him again.

"Stupid boy! You should've introduced me to her, instead of just standing there. You can't really blame me of being protective of you, you know?" Then she shoved him and went straight to me, "Hi, I'm Mia--Carlo's mom." Then she raised her hand for a handshake.

"I'm Jeraldine, hi." But when I was about to take her hand, she gave me a very warm hug.

"Thank you for being there for him." She whispered, tapos inilayo nya ako sa kanya at binigyan ako ng magandang ngiti.

   

Hindi ako nakapagsalita at tanging ngiti lang ang naisukli ko sa kanya. Muli syang bumaling kay Carlo, "I'm hungry, may pagkain ka ba?" Mataray nyang tanong.

"Wala. We were just about to go when you came in." 

The lady raised her perfect brow with Carlo's statement, "Bastos ka talagang bata ka, I'm a visitor here you should treat me like I am one." 

Carlo rolled his eyes, "You know I can't cook." He simply stated.

"How did you ever survive living here?" She rhetorically asked, then she looked at me, "Good thing, you have Jeraldine with you then." She said with a very sweet smile.

Na sinuklian ko lang ng isang nahihiyang ngiti, dahil kung alam nya lang... 

"Mom, if you just know what you are talking about... you'll laugh at your own statement. The only thing that Jeraldine can do is fry eggs." 

Bwisit talaga 'tong lalaking 'to! Nakakahiya!

His mom looked at me as if waiting for me to contradict him, but I just sheepishly smiled at her. Mukhang napahiya s'ya dahil dun kaya bigla nyang binali ang sinabi n'ya, "There are a lot of restaurants out there naman, kaya okay lang na hinid kayo marunong magluto. That's not really necessary." Then she went straight to the kitchen na parang umiiwas sa mga nangyayari.

I was fazed, but when I looked at Carlo, I saw him laughing his ass off. Bwisit talaga 'to! 

Agad ko syang nilapitan at pinaghahampas, "Leche ka talaga!"

Pilit nyang hinuli ang mga kamay ko para pigilan ako, "A-aray naman! Wala naman akong ginawa ah?"

"Ewan ko sa'yo! Takot na takot ako sa nanay mo, hindi mo man lang ako pinakalma kanina. Tapos pinahiya mo pa ako. Okay na sana na hindi n'ya alam na hindi ako marunong magluto. Ayan, sirang-sira na tuloy ang image ko sa kanya!" 

Hinawakan nya ang dalawa kong kamay at tinitigan nya ako sa mata, "Jeraldine, you don't need to impress my mom. I don't want people to like you because of your false image, I want them to like you because you really are a wonderful person. Besides, walang makakasira ng imahe mo kay mommy. Kahit anong mangyari, gusto ka ng mommy ko. Hindi ka nya huhusgahan gaya ng hindi ko paghusga sa yo. And Jer, if you just saw your face earlier when you saw her...it was priceless." Then he laughed so hard again.

Inirapan ko sya at tinalikuran sa inis. Pero ilang saglit lang ay naramdaman ko na ang mainit nyang yakap sa likod ko. "I'm just kidding. But all humor aside, I really am thankful that you are with me, Jeraldine. Thank you. Thank Heavens that I met you."  

And with those words I melted. No, we are not romantically involved with each other, we just found the solace that we need in one another. He's my soulmate and I am his, but we are not lovers and maybe we will never be. 

"Carlo, Jeraldine, let's eat na! I already cook." His mom called.

Nagkatinginan kami at matapos naming bigyan ng matamis na ngiti ang isa't isa tsaka kami naghiwalay. Many people misinterpret our relationship, ang akala nila kami ni Carlo, and we don't bother to correct them. Bahala sila kung anong gusto nilang isipin, hindi naman namin kasalanan kung malisyosa sila. It's their choice on what they want to think anyway, kahit naman kasi i-correct namin sila kung ayaw nilang maniwala wala kaming magagawa.

Carlo's mom is talkative and despite her sophisticated looks, she's very nice. Halos sya nga lang ang nagsasalita habang kumakain kami. Natatawa na nga lang ako kapag naiisip ko na natakot ako sa kanya kanina nung nakita ko sya.

"By the way, when do you plan to go back?" She asked na nakapagpatahimik sa aming dalawa ni Carlo.

Ilang sandaling walang umimik sa amin, Carlo's waiting for me to speak pero hindi ko din alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Pwede ko bang sabihin na hindi pa po ngayon kasi ayaw pa naming bumalik sa lugar kung saan namin nawala ang mga sarili namin, kung saan kami sobrang nasaktan? That'll sound stupid, but that's the truth. But I just opted to say, "Hindi pa po kami sigurado. I'll speak po sa head ng student exchange program kung pwede pang maextend yung program, if not then..."

She nodded her head in agreement, "I see. Just tell me when then."

 I just smiled. 

Carlo nudged me after his mom left, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, "I'm just thinking kung anong pwedeng mangyari 'pag balik natin sa Pilipinas."

He got silent for a while pero nagkibit-balikat lang sya, "Who knows? Maybe we'll come across the people who made us like this--the people who made us meet each other and I'll thank them forever--or maybe we won't and we'll just continue how we are right now. We don't know what lies ahead, but there's only one thing that I want to make sure--we will not lose each other along the way. We won't."

----------------------------------------

limalec: Thank you for sticking with me. I love you, my dear readers! :)