Can't Let You Go

fifty-two:

It's been weeks at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa bumabalik si Tristan. Hindi ko alam kung may balak pa ba s'yang bumalik, pero wala akong balak na sumuko sa pag-aantay. He did everything for me and the least that I can do for this relationship to work is to wait for him to come back. Siguro huli na nga talaga ang lahat, pero wala akong balak na sumuko.

I'd still make this relationship work.

"Ma'am, may sulat po para sa inyo..." The maid interrupted me.

Malungkot ko s'yang nginitian tsaka ko iminuwestra na ibigay n'ya sa akin ang sulat. She worriedly gave me the letter at hindi na n'ya hinintay ang reaksyon ko sa sulat sa halip ay umalis na s'ya agad.

Nanginig ang mga kamay ko ng mabasa ko ang nakalagay sa sulat at unti-unting nag-unahan ang mga luha sa mga mata ko:

Declaration of Nullity of Marriage

of Ray Tristan Benette Galliego and Jeraldine Carmel Vizconde

Regional Trial Court

Napabagsak ako at napaluhod habang tuloy-tuloy ang pagluha ng mga mata ko. Ayoko. Ang sakit. Ang sakit-sakit. Ayoko s'yang mawala. I'll still make this relationship work. Pero paano ko gagawin 'yun kung ni hindi ko alam kung saan ko s'ya hahanapin.

Tristan nasaan ka ba?

Don't do this please. Ayaw kitang mawala, mahal kita. I'm sorry for being stupid, pero pangako hinding-hindi ko na uulitin. 'Pag nakita kita, hinding-hindi na kita papakawalan. Hinding-hindi na ako magiging tanga.

Why do I keep on letting the past haunt me? Why do I keep on letting it take over me? I was scared, but I should never let my fears win over me. And maybe it's time to risk it all again.

I'll contest the case. It won't push through kung ako mismo ang magdedeny na pinilit ako. I'll tell the court that I gave my consent to the marriage that whatever's written on this document is a lie. If this will help para makita at makausap ko ulit si Tristan then I'll do everything.

I looked at the name of the lawyer who is going to represent Tristan and quickly searched for his contact details on the internet. Nang makuha ko ang mga kailangan ko ay agad kong tinawagan ang abogado.

"Hello... Atty. Lo--"

But I cut him off, "Attorney Lopez," I continued the sentence that I cut, "This is Mrs. Galliego... and I want you to tell your client that I will contest whatever is written on this annulment papers, unless he sees me. I want to see him as soon as possible."

"But--"