Hey There, Delilah - A 5 Seconds of Summer story

Chapter 44

Significantly shorter chapter and also a bit choppy. Very sorry; wasn't quite sure how to structure this one...

But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! :)

“Now it’s my turn for a question.” Luke said, softly.

“Seems fair.” I said, reluctantly. “What do you want to know?”

“Why do you run away from me?”

I froze, not expecting that question. “I…um.”

Luke’s brows settled into a puzzled frown. “Is it something I’ve done to hurt you? Have I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me? If you tell me, Del, I promise you I’ll make it up to you. I never want you to feel that way about me, like you can’t talk to me.”

“Luke.” I cut off his ramble with a single word. I smiled wryly. “It’s not your fault, ok? I promise.”

He copied my small smile at the reuse of his earlier words. “Ok.”

I took a deep breath, aware that I was going to reveal another ugly secret I’d kept. One that I’d kept completely to myself.

One I hadn’t even told Jules.

“When I was dating my ex…” I bit my lip, bowing my head to face the ground.

“No.” Luke whispered, tilting my head back up. “I want to see your eyes when you tell me. Your eyes are so beautiful, so expressive. Please look at me, Del.”

I put my hand over his wrist and stroked the back of his hand with my thumb as I continued. “When I was dating my ex…we fought a lot. He told me it was normal, that couples in love fought a lot, but made up. His idea of ‘making up’ was me admitting I was wrong. I hated it. We would say hurtful things to each other, only with the intention to hurt. He had a thick skin and would shrug it off, but I couldn’t always.” I forced down a sob. “There are only so many times a girl can take being called useless and ugly and nothing. But he told me it was love and I believed him. I believed him because he was the only constant in my life, the only thing that was always there. He hurt me, yes, but he also took away the pain of losing my mum. That’s why I don’t like confrontation.”

“That’s not all, Del.” Luke said, cupping my cheek tenderly. “I know it’s not. You can trust me.”

How could he always tell?

“When an argument got too heated…” I choked out. “Which was almost always, he would…he would…hurt me. He’d hit me. He’d hit me and tell me it was my fault for being stupid. He said this is what love was, and I just had to deal with it. Some part of me knew it wasn’t, because my dad had never hit my mum and they were in love. But all I knew was that my mum was dead and my dad was depressed and all I had was my ex to keep me from falling into complete nothingness. It was my fault he hit me, because I was stupid enough to believe it was supposed to happen.”

Then I was crying, jerking out of Luke’s grip and hiding my face in my hands.

Two larger hands gently pulled mine away and took their place, cupping my cheeks carefully and tenderly, holding me close.

I wrapped my hands around his strong wrists and held Luke’s gaze.

“It is not your fault, Delilah.” Luke said, fiercely. “It’s not your fault. Ok? Promise me that you know that. Promise me.”