lovestruck † hs

Chapter 51

Rachel's POV

Do I have my notebooks? Did I even pack them? I lift my backpack from the floor of the car up to the seat next to me and dig through it. There, my four notebooks lined up perfectly in class order. I sigh from relief as I set it back down and continue clicking my fingernails against the car door.

Wait, what about the binders, and my folders? I pull my bag back to me again and dig through it. Sure enough, they're in there...right next to the notebooks I just checked for...organized by each class and color coded. This must be what it's like to go insane. I throw my bag back down and resume the habit that is currently keeping me calm.

Shit, pencils. Did I even remember to pack pencils?! Holy shit what if I forgot pencils, I'm obviously going to need them. Everyone needs pencils...I can't not have pencils. I pick my bag up once again and scramble for them.

"Calm down before you shit yourself," Hayley snickers, closing the top mirror in the passenger seat when she finishes her makeup. "You've checked your bag over a hundred times. Hell, we waited in the car for like ten minutes as you checked your bag in the house the fourth time this morning."

"Come on, Hayley. She's just nervous," Jen defends me, passing a car.

Hayley chuckles, "I know, I'm not dumb. I just find it ironic the most nerdy, perfectionist girl I know is nervous for school and actually thinks she forgot something."

School. I can't believe I start today.

I've been anxiously awaiting this day with excitement and fear. I'm finally riding to school with both of my cousins, something I used to imagine. Our schedules work out perfectly for most of the week, we go in the same time in the morning though our days don't end at the same time, so Jen, Hayley, and I decided either we take trains home, drive, or pick each other up. When I talked to Harry, he even offered to get me some days, quite the sweet gesture. But this nearly twenty minute drive has been antagonizing for me, I've never felt more forgetful and lightheaded.

One thing that is calming me is that I shouldn't have too much of a problem socially. Though knowing me, that's always going to be a problem. Yes, I've got Hayley and Jennifer, although we aren't in the same year, but I have no classes with either sadly. I also have Matthew, who I'm glad is in the same year as me, and from comparing class schedules during my shift at the cafe a few days ago, we also have the majority of classes in common, which I'm incredibly thankful for. I had no clue his minor was writing, the same as mine, which bodes perfect so I have him for classes. Granted, that is only three friends, but it's better than none, right?

I recognize the street we turn onto and know that in one more turn, I'll be seeing the place that will lead me to my future goal, majoring in English. I cannot believe I made it here, I actually did it. I've had a lot cross my path to keep me from here. For instance, moving here in general, trying to get used to being alone. Then trying so freaking hard to get a job, to impress my parents while also trying to impress my dance teacher, who oddly after my last night practice is being nicer, and just trying to keep myself together after falling apart. The pieces of me are still broken, but I'm trying to deal with it and get to what's really important, my future.

I keep looking at my phone, at the little chat back and forth I had with Harry this morning. It was quick because he had a vocal training session this morning, and I so wish it could have lasted longer. Just a simple text of love and encouragement, which really is the main thing keeping me going and not jumping out this car in fear.

I feel the car turning, and I stare out the window, finding us driving in through the small, welcoming campus. Students are everywhere, literally, taking me back to my last year at UCLA where I just got comfortable in time for my sophomore year, but then I had to leave before junior year. The size of this campus is incomparable to my old one, but that should only be easier then. I can only hope I get comfortable here fast, and soon.