City of Blind ✓

Hating me isn't hard after all

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out, hating me wasn't hard after all.

When Felix and I had an eye contact this morning, I swear on my life, I saw him give me a minuscule nod of acknowledgement but by the time I saw him again during lunch, something happened.

He glared at me. And it wasn't a playful one. Even Rose saw it and asked me "What crawled up his butt and died?" I merely managed to shrug in response.

Alex for some reason, was a little cut off from me and I have no idea what happened. I spent whole day with Neal as Liam couldn't look me in eyes after yesterday.

I am at fault.

It was my duty to make sure that he falls asleep but I went into slumber first and he couldn't. When he did find some rest, whatever was haunting him, fell on him like ice cold water.

I woke up at 3:15 AM when I heard a muffled scream beside me. I craned myself on elbows, confused out of my mind but then I saw him and everything cleared like a misted mirror after hand prints.

He was sweating profusely while whimpering as if he was in immense pain. His face was contorted in agony as he clutched bed sheets in despair. I saw tears run down his face and I cross my heart, I almost cried seeing him like that.

It was heart-breaking.

I shook him awake and he almost slapped me away. But when he saw it was me, he jumped back from my touch as if I burned him. In a few second, I witnessed the most painful transition of my life. His eyes turned from frightened to cold and completely blank. He used his calmest tone and told me to get out.

His calm voice broke me more than the crack in his voice while screaming for help.

I didn't give up. I wouldn't, I promised. Despite his protests and venomous threats, I hugged him tightly. I didn't even move when he tried to pry me away. He gave up after some time and cried himself to sleep in my arms. I stayed whole night, caressing his hair and involuntarily crying for him.

He woke me up in the morning and hurried away to bathroom, leaving me all shattered. His eyes were blood red and I could clearly see the shame swirling in them.

He had nothing to be ashamed of. He increased his respect in my eyes.

I wanted to tell him the same but he didn't give me the chance. He skipped both math and Journalism. Finally, I decided to give him some space and talk to him at home.

So basically, I spent the day catching up with Neal. I admit, he distracted me from all the frustration and man was he a good distraction?

I realised something today. I can absolutely rely on Neal for everything- support, distraction, care, everything. He was the only one amidst all the 'Alpha Males' present in my life who came with the minimum amount of drama on his tag. All he had to do was throw a cheesy nerdy pick up line at me and I would turn into puddle of goo.

I was as close as hair width to exploding by the time I made it to practise.

"Everything okay, captain?" I craned my neck and saw Caleb leaning against his locker with a concerned expression.

"Yeah." He studied me for a second and the nodded as he walked away. My eyes fell on Felix who was standing across me and shooting daggers. My anger blew as I marched to him and slammed my fist on Jack's locker.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?! I must be asking you that! You blew everything up for me!" he yelled. I gave him an incredulous look.