hoodie || nh au

Eight

"You did it?", I ask, the tears making my sight blurry.

I can make out that he nods. Anger bubbles up in me and I feel my hand raising by itself. I never hit or slaped someone before. I can't control myself, so I just slap him. It feels extremely good to let my anger out on him somehow. He grabs his cheek wih one hand and glares at me.

"You idiot. You ruined my relationship to my brother and my best friend!", I shout and push him.

He grabs my arm and stops me from walking away. I try to push him away but afterall I am too weak. This diet kicks ass.

But I help you look beautiful. Take the price for beauty, Alex. Being weak is better than being fat.

"Alex, wait", he says, pulling me back to him but I rip my arm out of his grip.

"What do you want, Niall?", I spit and feel the tears still running down my face.

"I'm sorry. Miranda took the pictures. She hung them up but I just had to show her Josh's locker. I... I don't know why I did it."

"Fuck you, Niall."

I get up and climb down the hole onto the cupboard, then down on the floor. My feet carry me out of the house. That's when I feel someone take my arm in their hand again. They stop me from leaving. I try to pull my arm away but the person is too strong. They can feel the fat on my arm. The person turns me around. Niall looks at me quite sad.

"Believe me, I'm so sorry. Just don't leave. You're the only person I can really talk to", he says.

"We didn't even talk that much yet and you ignore me in school, jackass", I grumble.

He rolls his eyes and sighs. Did he just really roll his eyes at me? He needs to keep his attitude together.

"I have the feeling you're a really good listener. We both have something in common. Our lives aren't that easy and I think we could help each other", he explains.

"You know nothing about me!", I shout.

My confidence to shout at Niall scares me, so I jump slightly at my own words. Niall grabs my other arm, too, and forces me to look at him. He comes closer with his face.

"I want to know you", he tells me.

He doesn't want to get to know you. Think about his reputation and anyway, no one wants a fat girl.

I shake my head and look at the ground. He doesn't want to know me. He just wants to get in my pants, like he did to all of the other girls. Other girls would be happy to hear that from their crush, even in this situation, but not me. I'm absolutly not going to stay here. I need to think about everything alone. Niall takes my chin in his hand and lifts it up.

"Alex, you should go home for now. I'll bring you home and text you later", he says.

"Where did you get my number from anyway? You texted me a few days ago", I ask quite taken aback.

"Josh."

I nod and start walking. Niall walks beside me. Just now I realize he's got a backpack on. He came here right after school, just like me. It's nice of him to look after me but he's also part of the reason I'm this mad and sad. Why am I even walking with him? I don't care anymore. People hurt me all the time, why not now. They just use me and leave me. One person more doesn't matter.

"The first time we met on that roof, I told you it's not easy being popular. I didn't tell you what it ment further, so I'll tell you know. There are standards I have to fullfill. It's quite hard to fullfill them all the time, everyday!", he tells me.

"In other words, you have to be perfect", I mumble.

And you are still on a long journey to reach that, Alex.

"Yes, which I'm not. It's very exausting. One day I didn't wear brand clothes and everyone gave me weird looks", he tells me.

"Oh yeah, such a shame", I laugh lightly.

He laughs with me a little. I feel his hand touch mine lightly. He probably just accidentally touched my hand.

"I like your hoodie by the way", he smiles.

"Thanks, yours is nice, too."

"We should take a picture", he says.

I shrug and watch him get his phone out. We stop walking. Niall lays his arm around my hip and I do the "Spock"-sign with my hand. He only photographs our hoodies and our smiles.

You look fat, Alex. That hoodie just shows your fat hips and double chin.

"You should post it", Niall tells me and sends it to me.

No because I look like a potatoe there and I'm also a fat beanbag.

I nod and we continue walking again. I probably won't do it anyway.

"I know the perfect quote for your post: You couldn't have strength without weakness, you couldn't have light without dark, you couldn't have love without loss", Niall says.

"That's a good one. I need to remember that one", I tell him, half lieing at him.

We walk past his house. It's not long until we reach my house. I hope Luke isn't home. He'll probably try to explain everything again and I'll cry again. We walk to my place in silence. I get out my house key while stepping up the porch. I turn to Niall. He smiles.

"Thanks for listening to me", he says.

"Yeah, no problem. But I swear, if you do that shit again, I'll rip your head of personally", I smile.

Oh, he will pull off that shit.

"You should smile more often, it's beautiful."

My cheeks turn red, I can feel it. What is wrong with me?

"I should go", I mumble.

"Yeah."

Niall pulls me towards him and wraps his arms around my shoulders. I breath in his scent. He smells so good. I wrap my arms around his torso. Am I really hugging Niall Horan? Yes and he hugged me first.

But it's really uncomfortable to hug a fat person. That's why he's so awkward around you. He probably thinks of you as a big fat

Oh man, I sound like an unkissed, inocent Middle Schooler. Niall lets go of me. I smile one last time and open the door. He goes down the front porch. I close the door and go straight to my room. After my phone finds the WiFi, I go on Instagram and choose to post the picture without a black and white filter. It doesn't matter afterall. People already hate me and Miranda is the least of my problems nowadays.

"You couldn't have strength without weakness, you couldn't have light without dark, you couldn't have love without loss."
-> He cheered me up a little. Thanks. @niallhoran_bigd

I post it and go take a shower. After I am done and dressed and everything, I take my phone and check the comments and likes. While I scroll through the pictures, I see Niall commented.

No problem. :) I'm sorry.

I continue scrolling and find another comment. It's a hate comment. Miranda...

I told you, bitch! You're going down!

I'm officially fucked.