hoodie || nh au

Sixteen

Hardin and Lou, the two boys that Miranda and Sam met, are quite on the touchy side. Hardin is huge, strong and has a lot of tattoos. Lou is a small and pierced boy. He brought his girlfriend. She's nice but I already saw her make out with some other boy. I feel like going to bed. It's been three hours since the party started. I drank some Jägermeister and some beer but I'm not that drunk, it's more like being tipsy. Luke, Josh, Sam and Miranda are wasted. They drank so much. I'm going to laugh at them tomorrow. I'm not even sorry when they have a headache because of their hangover. Niall didn't drink that much. He stayed by my side the whole time. Now we're sitting on the jetty with some other girls and boys. Hardin is really touchy. When Niall's not looking, Hardin keeps trying to touch me on my theigh but I smack his arm away constantly.

"So, Alex, how old are you?", Hardin asks.

"I'm 17", I tell him.

Please stop talking to me. Just please stop.

"Okay, I'm 21. What about Niall? Is he really your boyfriend?", he asks.

"Yes."

Niall, dear god, please stop talking to that girl and help me, you fucktard. She's not even that pretty. Oops!

"Then why don't you kiss? I mean when you're together, you have to kiss", he laughs like a little school girl.

"Because we're together for a few days and I don't want to kiss him yet."

Niall! Fucking idiot! Listen to me you fucktard!

"Why not? You still a virgin?"

"No", I exclaim.

I squeeze Niall's hand tightly. He ignores it. Then I shove my elbow into his side. It's like he doesn't even notice it. Just then Hardin lays his hand back on my theigh. I feel like smacking him upside the face. He smirks at me. Oh god, why isn't Niall noticing me.

"Niall? I need to go to the bathroom, I'm right back", I choke out.

He doesn't hear me because I mumbled so quiet. He doesn't even feel me letting go of his hand. I run into the crowded house. The bathroom is only a few feet away. Suddenly someone slams me into the wall next to the door. Hardin's hands pin up my hands to the wall.

"See, so needy for me", he smirks.

I'm fucked.

"Hardin, please no", I say quietly.

He just ignores me and starts kissing my neck. Liam used to do this before I broke up with him. One of Hardin's hands trails down my body. I feel tears burn in my eyes.

"Please stop it", I choke out.

He ignores my pleads. When his lips find mine, I start crying. My tears leak between our lips. He breaks up the kiss and caresses my cheek. I'm going to burst into sobbing any second.

"No need to cry. I'll make you feel good", he whispers into my ear.

I try to push him away. He's doing what Liam did. It's replaying in my head. My hands start shaking. Suddenly I collapse on the floor. Hardin lets go of my body. I wrap my arms around my legs and pull them to my body. Tears stream down my face.

"You fucking pedophile", Niall shouts.

Then I hear a bone collide with something boney as well. I look up and see Niall and Hardin beating each other up. Other people just watch. It's completely silent. All you can hear is the two throwing profanties at each other and the sound of groans and the sound when you hit someone. Soon Niall sits over Hardin and slams his fists into his body. Sam stops Niall from killing Hardin. He would've killed him. One of Hardin's friends helps him up and leads him out of the house. I hold my ears closed and hide my face, as everyone starts talking again. After a while I feel someone grab my arm. I look up and see Niall's face in front of mine. My hands automatically push him away. He tries to come towards me again.

"Stay away!", I shout.

Niall looks scared, as I stare at him in shock. He'll hurt me like he hurt Hardin. Just like Liam hurt me. Hardin did deserve it but he doesn't deserve to die. I stand up and run into Luke's arms. He hugs me to his body closely. Luke knows what happened to me and Liam. I told him everything. He was the one who told me to break up with him.

"Niall's not him", Luke whispers.

I look up at him. He kisses my cheek. I nod and turn back to Niall. He holds out his hand to me. Everyone else in the house is back to dancing and drinking. I ignore Niall's hand and go up to my room. I close the door behind me. Parties and I aren't really good with each other. I undress, take off the make up and put on the sleepstuff from yesterday. The bed looks like the most comfortable thing in the world. I lay down and take my earphones and plug them in my phone. The only thing that'll help me now is my music. It was the only thing I had when I was with Liam and it'll be the only thing I'll have until I die. I turn up the volume and change the song to Suicide Season by Bring Me The Horizon. This band really saved me from the darkest times. I open my eyes and look out of the window. The light in my room is turned off. I can see the stars in the sky. There are some planes in the sky. I wish I could travel and have a restart. I would take nothing with me. Maybe some clothes and a new phone. I'd be a nobody. I could actually be a normal person. My eyes close again, as I feel that my eyes get heavy. They turn up the music downstairs, so I can hear it through my earphones. I turn my music up again. It doesn't matter how loud I listen to music, it's never too loud. I take a look at the clock on my phone. It's 3am. I decide to sleep now but first I stand up and open a window. The air in here is really warm and gross. As soon as the cold air hits my skin, I shiver. I look down at the jetty. People still sit there and some dance. It looks funny when you listen to my music and not theirs. Miranda and Sam are making out on the jetty. Luke and Josh are nowhere to be seen and Niall sits on the jetty with his feet in the water and a bottle of beer in his hand. I stay at the window a few minutes longer than I should, so Niall sees me standing here. As soon as he sees me, I close the window and lay back down in my bed. What if Niall does what Liam did to me? Would he really abuse me and call me names? After what he did to Hardin, I believe so. Niall seemed like such a nice guy. I close my eyes and try to think about the song lyrics.

"Take me to the sun. I feel I'm chasing rainbows. And now I'm lost and all alone, waiting for a chance."

I smile. This is an amazing song. I decide to listen to this song and then go to sleep. I open my eyes and look up to the sky again. Suddenly the door opens, what I see in the window because of the light. I close my eyes and pretend that I'm asleep. The person lays down next to me after a while. They slide closer to me and an arm suddenly lays around my waist. I take a deep breath. Mint and alcohol. Niall? I turn the music off and turn to Niall, laying my phone and earphones onto the nightstand. Niall's blue eyes find mine. I turn on the small light behind me. Niall smiles at me sadly.

"How are you?", he asks.

I shrug and push his arm off of me, playing with my hands. He holds my hands still with one of his hands. I look at his chest. He doesn't wear a shirt. I can see his tattoos. They make me feel comfortable, I don't know why.

"Really? Alex, I know that you're not doing good now", he says.

"Then why do you ask?", I spit.

Where does all this confidence come when I'm mad or sad? It's annoying.

"Because I just do, okay?", he smiles.

I sit up and shrug. My hands tie my hair up automatically. It's like every night. I do this without noticing much.

"Come on, Alex, why were you so scared of me? I'm sorry that I beat up Hardin but you told him 'no' and I couldn't see it anymore. I'm sorry for not taking care of you."

I nod and turn my back towards him again. I just have to sleep over this.

"Good, then don't talk to me."

Niall huffs and turns the light off. I feel like crying again. It's not Niall's fault that I don't trust people that much. The tears wetten my pillow. I wipe my eyes off with the blanket. I sniff one time and stare back out of the window. Tears then just overcome me. I'm just a weak little girl with no talents, no trust in other people and a fucked up life. Then I feel someone lay their arm around my waist. Mint and alocohol. He pulls me closer to his body and kisses my neck right under my left ear.

"Sorry", he whispers.