hoodie || nh au

Seventeen

Liam stands in front of me. His hands are wrapped around my neck. I have bruises covering my arms and stomach. He slams me to the ground.

"Such a fat whore. All you do is eat", he spits.

I feel my breath hitching. Liam lets go of my neck, taking my arms instead. I try pushing him off of me but he's too strong. He does this to me every day. His temper is quite short. I can handle it but sometimes it's too much. Just then I feel his fist collide with my face.

I scream out my lungs, as I wake up. Niall sits next to me, pressing my body down by my shoulders. His eyes are wide. I must've woken him up. He helps me sit up and takes me into his arms, hugging me tightly. Tears run down my face. The nightmares never were this bad. Maybe it's because of what Niall did to Hardin. I lay back down and turn my face towards Niall. He lays back down, too, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tightly to his chest. Falling asleep after a nightmare was never this easy.

*****

I wake up with something heavy laying around my waist and something hard is pressed against my cheek. Niall's warm breath tickles my neck. He has me pressed to his body tightly, so no one can steal me from him. I wish I could feel this safe every day. I feel so sorry for believing Niall would hurt me like Liam. It's just stupid. He held me the whole night, calmed me down when I woke up from my nightmare. It was Liam. He did it again. Everything. It was like a flashback of one of the darkest times in my life. We were in his room and-

"Good morning, birdy", Niall mumbles with his raspy voice.

I push myself away from Niall and screech a little. Awkward. Niall starts laughing loudly at me. I smack his arm and get up from the bed, just like he does. Was I really cuddling up to Niall and wishing I could stay like that? Creepy.

"What do you want to eat this morning, birdy?", Niall asks, getting his stuff from his bag.

"What's with the 'birdy'?", I question, quite confused.

"Your name is getting boring, so I decided to call you that because you like birds. I could call you 'bacon' or 'sweetcheeks' but I don't think you like that", he laughs.

"True. I want some bacon for breakfast, now that you noticed, thanks, Horan", I smile.

"Will do, Hemmings. Nah, that sounds weird. Let's stick with 'birdy'", he says more to himself than to me.

I smile to myself. We're having a movie marathon today, so I get some appropriate stuff from my pile. Gray sweats and a black t-shirt with a pocket at the chest area. I also take some new underwear. Niall calls dibs on the bathroom before me, so I wait in our room. I take my phone out and go on Instagram. There are several notifications and one catches my eyes.

@niallhoran_bigd tagged you in a photo

I open it and see he posted a picture of me taking a picture of the chickadee on top of the mountain. Then I check the caption. Why didn't my phone message me about this?

"She took a picture of the view because she thought it was beautiful, so I took a picture of what I thought was beautiful."

I'm going to die. I open the comments and see some people posted the heart-eyes emoji. Some also posted some hate against me but I try to ignore it. I decide to comment something.

"The definition of beautiful lays in your own hands."

Then I decide to post a picture of the chickadee. I just post it plain with a small caption.

"They can fly away when things get too crazy."

I just leave it like that and put my phone away. Niall comes back soon, so I leave to take a shower and get done for breakfast and the movies.

*****

"Stop playing, Niall. Put the fucking DVD in the player", Sam shouts laughing at Niall, who continues to play around with the DVD.

The spot next to me is completely free for Niall. The others are gathered around the room, cuddling with someone, so Niall and I have the huge couch to ourselves. Later tonight we're going to sit at the campfire again. It's our actual last day here. I don't want this to end. Let's just hope we're all still friends after High School. These people are amazing. You can have so much fun with them. Sam and Miranda committed their liking for each other yesterday. I knew it. Haha! They are quite cute together because they don't fit but they make it happen anyway. It's nice. I hope Niall and I find someone someday, too. Niall sits down at the other side of the couch. I cuddle up into my blankets and pillows. Actually no one wanted any, so I claimed them for myself because I always freeze, even in the deepest summer. It's crazy. My therapists told me it's caused by my anorexia. It made sence when he explained it but I can't remember what he told me about it. The movie starts soon, so I take a glance at the huge screen. We're watching The Comjouring part one. I already watched this one with Josh. We had a movie night on halloween. It was super scary. I even cried when the dog got killed. Josh just laughed at me. He was actually laughing through all of the jump scares and the creepy ghosts. My eyes jump to Niall. He has his feet laid next to mine, touching mine sometimes. I feel my hands shaking, as I look back to the screen. The movie isn't that scary for me anymore but I have a huge hate for jump scares. Miranda and Sam hide behind a pillow and give each other a short kiss once in a while. Josh and Luke are constantly laughing at the scary parts. Niall just stays calm and laughs, as the dog gets killed. I on the other hand feel tears in my eyes again. It's so embaressing. The dogs always die in horror movies. It's so unfair. I suck down the tears again and watch the movie. Suddenly there is a jump scare, so I start screaming loudly. Everyone turns their head to me. It's been a while since I've seen this movie.

"Is Alex scared?", Josh asks playfully.

I hide my face behind a pillow and nod. They all laugh again. My anxietly bubbles up again. They're thinking of how much of a loser I am to be scared. Just then I feel someone sit down next to me, pushing my legs over theirs. I peak up over my pillow and see Niall sitting there. He holds his hand out for me to hold when I'm scared. I take it and hold it tightly. Niall only smiles at my reaction. I hope this movie is over soon.