hoodie || nh au

Twenty-six

I take Luke's hand, as I see a girl standing next to Niall. He has his hand around her waist. She is really beautiful with her long brown curly hair and the perfect skinny body. I didn't know he was meeting some girl. He actually doesn't do relationships, that's what Miranda told me. He has a small fuck here and there and before Miranda got together with Sam, Niall and her were friends with benefits. I stand awkwardly next to Luke, as we stand with our new friends. Josh stands opposite to me with raised eyebrows at the girl. He doesn't like her. I remember when he first saw Liam, he raised his eyebrows like that and told me that he didn't like him afterwards. It's a sign. Miranda and Sam give me a high-five as usual. Josh hugs me quickly. Niall just has eyes for the girl and doesn't even realize I'm there. The girl laughs at something Niall says. I don't even hear them because my thoughts are too loud. My hand losens from Luke's. I still have to get my stuff from my locker. Before I can leave, Niall speaks up.

"Hey, Alex, meet Christina", he says.

She takes a step towards me and tries to give me her hand. I take it and shake it.

"Nice to meet you", she smiles.

She's so fake. Her eyes literally tell me that I'm supposed to stay the fuck away from her and Niall. I take my hand back. Josh's eyes find mine. He shrugs. I leave the group of people and go to my locker. The necklace Niall gave me is under my hoodie. He didn't even talk about her yesterday. I can't believe he didn't tell me. Yesterday he told me how much he trusted me and I could trust him at any time. He lied to me. I reach my locker soon. The pictures on the door still hang there. My hand rips off the picture of Niall and I at the campfire. He never liked me like I liked him. I was so stupid to like him.

He'd never like a fat girl like you. Just skip some food and he'll come back.

I get my books and leave for my first class. Niall really never liked me that much. I'm so stupid. Luke told me Niall looks at me in a special way. He probably just imagined that. I hate how I believe people so fast. Suddenly I bump into someone. It's her. She doesn't even help me up, just stares at me. I get up. She takes a step towards me.

"I swear, if you even try to take Niall from me, I'll cut off your ugly fat head. He wouldn't love you anyway. You're just a fat little girl", she smirks down at me.

I nod and walk past her but she holds me tight by my arm.

"And by the way. That necklace he gave you was actually for me. I just told him to give it to you because you looked so sad the whole day", she laughs.

I reach for the necklace and press it against my chest through the hoodie. Christina laughs at me. She pushes me away from herself. I'm only Niall's second choice. And I will always be. Even if I get to work at his parents company, I'll still be the second choice behind his wife and kids and company. I'll just be another employee.

*****

The necklace lays against my chest, as I put on a simple black top. I purged everything today. It just felt right. Niall, Christina and I ignored each other the whole day. After what Christina told me, I let mom pick me up from school. I told her everything because I trust her. She understood. My mom is amazing. I just didn't feel good. I didn't get over with taking the necklace off. It's just that I have hope. Hope that Niall doesn't start anything with Christina. Josh and I are going out to the mall today. I need some new clothes since I gained weight and my old clothes don't fit. And I'm getting my first tattoo. I want him to be there with me and help me get through the pain. My parents gave this present to me on my 18th birthday in summer and now I'm ready. Josh decided that we go to Forever 21, the Nike shop we have at our mall and Pacsun after the tattoo to get a few tops showing my tattoo. He likes to pick out outfits for me. We used to do this all of the time before Liam came to my life. I'm wearing a top because it's gotten a little warmer today and I don't want to wear a hoodie.

"Alex! Josh's here", my mom shouts.

I take my bag. Josh waits outside for me at his car. We hug quickly.

"Are you ready?", he asks smiling.

I nod and hold up the tattoo I want to get. My parents, Luke and the others don't know about this, only Josh. He's the most important person in my life.

"That's so beautiful, Alex. They look so amazing", Josh exclaims, handing me back the paper.

The two chickadee's on the branch are a meaning to freedom and independance. It would be crazy of me not to have a tattoo of chickadee's since I love them and connect them with a lot of things. Josh and I make our way to the tattoo parlour. I found out that Niall's tattooed by him. He was there one time I walked past the shop a year ago. I just have to get this tattoo done. The present of my parents isn't a thing they gave me forever. They set a limit.

"We can do this", Josh smiles and opens the door.

A small bell rings loudly. Tattoo ideas hang all over the wall. A few pictures of celebrities hang there with the tattoo artist. He already tattooed Rihanna, okay? This guy has my full trust. When we talked about the appointment, he sounded so nice and happy. Let's just hope he doesn't mess this up.

"Ah! Alex", the tattoo artist smiles, as he comes out of a booth.

"Hey, Kevin. This is my friend Josh. He's here to help me through the pain. I hope that's okay", I say and shake his hand.

They shake hands quickly. Josh's hand lays on my lower back.

"Just come with me", Kevin tells us.

We follow him to the booth. I sit down on the bed like thing, Josh sits on the chair in a corner. Kevin stands in front of me.

"So, we talked about your ideas on the phone and I made some drawings and stencils. It looks almost as good as your idea there", he points to the paper in my hand.

I nod and take a look at the ideas. Josh looks at them, too. We both decide on the same one. Just then Kevin tells me to lay down on my stomach. I pull down the strap of my top. Kevin applies the stencil, making me feel a little nervous.

"Let's go", Kevin announces.