hoodie || nh au

Twenty-five

I feel the cold blue metal against my fingers. The books are neatly stacked in there. My hand shakes slightly, as I turn off the music coming from my earphones. I'm back to usual. No, I don't mean purging and binging again. I mean being alone in the mornings. Niall's got an important exam in his first lesson and the others are nowhere to be found. I'm used to being alone most of the time. It's actually really nice to be alone. No one annoys you or asks you for things. I personally like to be with people but there are days I just want to be alone and think about stuff, just like today. That's why I texted Niall that I won't drive with him and I told Luke I'll walk. I haven't seen anyone this morning, just Luke at home. My feet carry me to my Math class. It's Tuesday. Yesterday Niall and I had a lot of fun in P.E. while playing Dogeball. He threw a ball straight in Miranda's face. Her make up was kinda messed up after that. She just laughed along with us. It's nice to have friends like them. Even though we don't sit together at lunch because Luke sits with his football friends, Josh and I sit together and the rest has their own table. We don't have to sit on each others laps 24/7. Of course Niall annoys me sometimes but in a good way. As an example when he wants to stroke my hair while hugging. I hate that a little bit and he knows but still does it to annoy me. That's kinda cute like Josh always tells me.

"Class, please open your books on page 135 and read through it. We will answer questions after that and do some examples", Mrs Connor tells us, pushing up her round glasses.

I open the page and read through. This is really hard. When this is in my finals, I'll drop out. I probably already have an apprenecship. Niall's parents just didn't contact me yet. I really hope that I get this job. I need it. I raise my hand to ask a question.

"Yes, Alexandra", Mrs Conner speaks pretty surprised.

Everyone turns around to me. Their eyes judging my body. I ususally don't raise my hand much and when I do it's so surprising. Like they didn't even know I'm here until the teacher called me out. I think about my question again before asking.

"I don't quite get why we add two and then take two away. That makes no sence to me at all", I question.

Everyone turns away again. Mrs Conner writes down some equasions on the board and explains the system to me. I nod because I understand it, not because I don't want to look stupid. I hate people who do that. The bell rings soon, so we leave the classroom and seperate our ways. My next period is Biology. I hate our teacher in this class. She always takes so long to explain. The whole lesson consists of us writing down what she draws on the board. I don't have any classes with the others today. At lunch I'll try to hide from them and eat my sandwiches outside. I need some Alex-Time alone. A few people from my Biology class walk into the room before me. It smells like rotten eggs in here. It always does. Mrs Nickel does weird experiments with her students every day. She just loves her experiments. I sit down at my lab place. The place next to me is clear. No one ever sat there. I do lab work alone. I don't really care. That way no one can be blamed to do anything wrong when it's clearly me. It's only fair. My eyes trail from Mrs Nickel, who's explaining something about organisms, out of the window. A few birds sit on the window cill. They stare into the room with wide eyes.

"Alex, why are you looking out of the window? Isn't my class interesting?", Mrs Nickel asks.

She comes walking towards me, her eyes staying on me the whole way. As soon as she's at my desk, I look down at my notebook with some notes I took before getting attracted by the birds.

"What do you say about detention today?", Mrs Nickel smirks down at me.

"Why? I was just looking at the birds", I throw back.

She lifts her eyebrow, thinking of something.

"If you can name me the breed of those birds and why you were staring, I won't give you detention", she says.

I nod and look back at the birds. They have white stomachs and brown wings with black beaks and look just like the chickadee's I like most. These are chestnut-backed chickadee's. I like blue chickadee's most. They are so different from other birds.

"They are chestnut-backed chickadee's. I like chickadee's and was thinking about something", I explain.

"Okay, but next time, Alex, I won't let you pass."

I nod and just continue listening to her blabbering, taking notes from the board or her talking once in a while. We slowly move on to the cell structure. That's when I zone out again. My concentration span is very short but I still understand everything.

*****

Niall makes his way towards me. What do they don't understand when I ignore them? Come find me and bug me or what? I slam my locker shut. My feet carry me to the opposite direction of Niall. I don't want to talk to him. I just need some time alone today. The music in my ears hides the talking of the others, so I can concentrate on my thoughts. They've become better. Now I think about how good the food looks and that I'm getting positive about my weight. I take a look behind me and don't see Niall. He probably just gave up. Thanks. I make my way to the abdonned house. My mom and dad think I'm still in the schools library to learn for an exam comming up. Biology. Ew. I climb up on the side Niall ususally sits, not on my side. The view is just better. Raven's sit on a tree nearby. Chickadee's are extremely scared of raven's because they're so big. That means I won't see a chickadee today. Just then I see another raven flying towards the tree. It sits down next to the other. They rub their faces together. It's cute how they didn't seperate after their young ones left. Usually they seperate and find new partners in spring. I wonder if birds can feel love. If raven's can find love, I will, too, someday. Maybe not today or tomorrow. Let's just see in twenty years when I'm 38. I could be married and have kids. That would be awsome. I change the song on my phone quickly. Eskimo Callboy fills my ears. I smile to myself, as the lyrics of Best Day start. It's so cool how you can hear the German accents. I love them a lot. I just wish I had enough money to buy me some concert tickets. They're comming to our city in a few weeks. Luke already checked, if he has enough money but he doesn't either. Mom and dad won't give me the money because they think it's nonsence. It's a waste of money to them. Suddenly I feel someone touch my shoulder. I jump and rip my earphones out in the same moment.

"Easy there, birdy", Niall's Irish accent fills my ears.

He sits down next to me. I turn the music off and pull my hoodie sleeves down more to my hands. It's getting colder. Winter is comming in less than two months. Niall holds his closed hand out to me.

"What?", I ask quite confussed.

"I got you something since we're friends and you actually trusted me with your story. You are a really important friend to me. Just take this small present", he smiles and takes my wrist with his free one.

He pulls my sleeve down to my wrist and lays something cold in my hand. I take a look at it. It's a necklace with a small circe pendant on it. A chickadee is imprinted to the pendant. The other side is just clear metal. I smile at Niall.

"Thank you. It's beautiful", I tell him.

He pulls down my hood and brushes my ponytail to the side. I give him the necklace. His warm fingers touch the back of my neck softly to close the necklace. It reaches to the top of my breastbone. The metal is cold against my skin. It's hidden under my hoodie, so only I know that it's there. Niall throws me a small smile. We stay here the whole afternoon and talk about random things. Talking to Niall is so helpfull. He listens carefully and gives you the best tips. I hope we can be friends forever.