Remus Lupin x Reader

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The day of the full moon is always the worst.
You come down to breakfast, and everybody's there. Remus has a plate of food in front of him, but he just glares at it.
"You need to eat, sweetie." You say.
"Don't talk to me."
"Don't have that attitude with me." You counter.
"I'm sorry."
You slip your hand into his.
"Please don't." He says, pulling his hand away.
"I love you, Remus."
"Don't."
"Oi, mate." James says. "You're lucky you have her. Don't be an knobhead."
"Yeah, I am," Remus agrees, "But she's not lucky to have me." He scowls at the table.
"Won't have her much longer if you keep acting like this." James presses.
"All the better for her." Remus gets up and walks out.
"Go on." Sirius advises you, so you get up and follow him.
"Don't be an arse, Remus." You say.
"Leave me alone, Y/N. I want to suffer by myself."
"Well, too bloody bad."
"Don't put yourself in dangerous situations." He snaps and keeps walking.
"What dangerous situation? Talking to my boyfriend?"
"Exactly. We're breaking up."
"No we're not."
"Yes we are."
"No we're not."
"Yes we are."
"Don't be childish."
"I'm not being childish, you're being childish."
"Shut up." You grab his hand and turn him around.
"Kiss me." He says, sounding desperate. "Kiss. Me."
So you kiss him.
"Sirius has rubbed off on you, huh?" You ask.
"What do you mean?"
"That was more of a Sirius Black kind of thing to do."
"No, Sirius would've done something else."
"What?"
"I can show you." He winked.
"Okay."
"No, I won't." He laughs. "I feel like that would be disrespectful, as well as frowned upon by Professor McGonagall, especially here."
"Oh, that Sirius Black thing." You say with wide eyes, and he laughs.

Full moons are always sleepless nights. You lay in bed for a while, then pace for a bit until your roommates tell you to shut up. You go down into the common room and stress out in front of the fire for a while. You go up to your dormitory and come back down with a book. You read for a bit, tapping your leg. You can't concentrate, though, so you go back to your room and stare out the window until you see Peter, James and Sirius sneak back. Then you know that everything's okay, so you get back in bed and sleep restlessly for an hour.

The day after the full moon is generally okay. Remus is always exhausted, but he's generally just adorable and not too moody.
You head down to the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, tired but not near as tired as the boys. Lily Evans pats Remus' arm and asks him how he feels while James looks on, awestruck by her, as always. Remus nods sleepily and says he's fine, how about her? She says she's good and leaves to sit with Marlene.
You sit beside Remus. "Good morning." You say.
The three non-werewolfs give their replies while stuffing their faces.
"You need to eat, sweetie." You tell Remus.
"Don't wanna." He shrugs, his chin resting on his hand.
You put your hand over his with a sympathetic smile.
He shakes his head and pulls his hand away. "I'm unclean."
You reach up and turn his head to you. "Unclean, my ass."
He jerks his head away. "I don't deserve this--I don't deserve you."
"You're right, you deserve better."
"No. You do."
You kiss him. He reaches his hand up to cup your cheek, tiredly kissing you back.
"I don't wanna go to class." Remus says as you all are going.
"Then go rest." Sirius claps his shoulder gently.
"I will." Remus says, grabbing your hand and tugging you along.
"Um... I have class--" You begin.
"I want you with me."
He holds your hand loosely in his, but you don't let go. You follow him up to his room.
He sits down on his bed, swaying with exhaustion, pulling you to him.
"Go to bed." You say.
"I need to talk to you." He says.
"No, I think you need to sleep."
"No. You first."
"Okay." You say, because he's stubborn as heck.
"You aren't happy."
"I'm happy." You brush your fingers through his hair.
"No you aren't. Tell me why?"
"Can't this wait?"
"No. It's... very important."
"Not this important."
"I want you to be happy."
"And I want you to be awake enough to know whether you're happy. Go to bed."
"It hurts too much right now." He looks up at you, slipping his hands into yours.
"What does?"
"Everything does. My body, my mind. Everything. Merlin, I need to wake up."
"You need to go to bed."
"Can't. Never can."
"I'll lay down with you."
He nods and scoots backwards to lie down. You lay beside him, and he moves to kiss you. "You're beautiful." He tells you.
"Thanks, you too." You say.
He laughs like that was hilarious. "Mmm, I love you." He says.
"I love you too. Try to sleep now, okay?"
He nods and closes his eyes.
"Y/N?" He whispers after a while.
"Hm?" You mumble. You had almost fallen asleep.
"It hurts so fucking bad." His eyes open, and you can see the pain in them.
"I'm sorry, baby. I wish I could make it better." You whisper, kissing him.
"You do, a little bit."
You sit up.
"Where are you going?" He panics.
"Let me play with your hair." You say.
He scoots his head onto your lap and curls up, shivering. You pull the blankets over him.

"All right?" You ask when he wakes up.
He presses a hand to his head. "I feel hungover."
"Yeah, you acted drunk." You agreed with a little laugh.
"Oh, Merlin, I did?" He looks at you, silently pleading for you to tell him he hadn't done anything stupid.
"Not too bad." You assure him.
He stretches, wincing.
You reach out and rub his back.
"What time is it?"
"Six-ish, I believe."
"You stayed here the whole time?" He leans his hands on the bed and hangs his head, his eyes closed.
"Yeah."
"Why? You could've left."
"No. You freaked out every time I moved."
"Merlin. I'm sorry."
"It's all right." You scoot forward and put your arms around him, kissing his cheek.
He envelops your hands in his, leaning back against you. "Merlin, I'm lucky to have you."
"Mmhm." You agree with a smile, your  chin on his shoulder.
"Thank you." He whispers hoarsely.
"Of course." You smile.
"I love you."
"I love you more." You say, only half joking.
"I love you most." He says, dead serious.

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