Shadowhunter Imagines and Prefences

Imagine- Why? (Alec×Reader)

*Warning: Suicidal and self harm*

Y/n's POV

Why?

Tears stream down my face as I hang up the phone. My mom just passed away in a car crash by a drunk driver. I am destroyed.

All I need is Alec.

I walk into the Institute, tears still visible all over my face. I walk past everyone, and just ignore them. I need to get to Alec.

I walk right into his office to see Lydia and Alec kissing. I gasp and start to cry. I cover my mouth with my hands. Alec pushes Lydia away. Alec looks guilty and shocked and Lydia had a smirk on her face.
"Y/-" Alec starts.
"No, stop it. Just... just leave me alone." I cut him off.
"Y/n plea-" He tries.
"No, I thought I could trust you. It's great to know I lost two people that I love." I say.
"What do you mean?" Alec asks.
"Nothing, goodbye Alec." I say walking out. I find the closest private bathroom, and sit on the floor.

*Trigger Warning*

How could this happen to me?

I am worthless.

I made my mistakes.

No one loves me.

I've got no where to run.

I wonder what life would be like if I wasn't here?

The night goes on.

I can't take the pain anymore.

As I'm fading away.

It's time to end it all.

I'm sick of this life.

I take out a blade and put it to my wrist, and push down.

I just want to scream.

The pain came, then dissapeared. I felt relieved. I heard banging and screaming on the door from Alec.
1rst cut- worthless
2nd cut- useless
3rd cut- unlovable
4th cut- mistake

How could this happen to me?

My vision got blurry, and the last thing I saw was Alec bursting through the door.

Alec's POV
I messed up. I didn't kiss Lydia, she kissed me.

I pushed Lydia away, and ran after
y/n. I saw her go into the bathroom. I started to bang on the door begging for her to let me in. Something is up. Why isn't she telling me to go away?

I pushed the door down to see y/n, with 4 long cuts across her arms, passed out on the floor.
"Noooo." I screamed.
I dashed to her side, and picked her up bridal style. I took her to the infirmary. I was freaking out. I can't loose her. Not now. Not ever. It's my fault too. I did this to her. But, what did she mean by she lost two people that she loved today? I don't care anymore. All I want to know is if y/n is ok.

*Over*

Izzy comes, and meets me in the infirmary waiting room. I already told her what happend on the phone. The first thing she does when she walks in his smack me. I deserve that. She had makeup running down her face, and tears all over.
"Why d-did you c-c-cheat?" She asked weakly.
"I didn't c-cheat. L-Lydia k-kissed
m-me, and... y-y-y/n saw it." I said loosing it when I said her name. Izzy just gave me a hug, and sat down next to me.

About an hour later, a doctor came through the door, and told me I could see her. I went into the room, and saw y/n with her head in her hands, and knees pulled up to her chest. She had a bandaged on the arm she cut on. I knocked on the door. She looked up, but gave me a glare. I went, and sat down next to her.
"Why'd you do it?" She asked, her head back in her hands.
"What?" I asked.
"Cheat on me." She said, picking her head up, slightly yelling.
"I swear to God I didn't cheat on you. Lydia kissed me right when you walked through the door. I am so
s-sorry. I know I did th-"
"Alec, you didn't do it. I did. The reason I said that I lost two people that I loved today is because I got a call saying that my mom passed away in a car accident. I was torn. I came to see you, and... yeah. But, I forgive you. I love you. And, I know you wouldn't lie to me." She said. I got up and hugged and kissed her.
"Baby, I love you so much too, but do you promise never to do this again? I don't know what I would do without you." I said.
"I promise." She said. 'She's okay.'

"Keep fighting."
-Anonymous

A/N
Suicide is not the answer. You have people that love you. People at home. People at school. People online. People anywhere. There is always someone to talk to.
~Author