THE BOY WHO DROWNED (VKOOK)// COMPLETED

CHAPTER 38

Time passes.

People are forgotten.

Taehyung had to grieve over Jung kook for a year. He insisted on having pictures of him for keepsake. The brunette wanted the memory of them kept deep inside his mind but he couldn't.

God does not allow it.

Just shortly after a year, Jung kook was gone. Officially wiped away from his mind, Taehyung had forgotten how he looked like, a blur was placed on top of his face when the man tried to recount. His voice was muffled and his scent was dull and faded. Taehyung could barely remember, slowly, the people around him started to disappear too.

The shadowmen, were all gone after Taehyung had settled into his life. They were just gone, there were no goodbyes exchanged. The angels were not bothering him anymore. But sometimes, they would always be nightmares of them, blood, feathers, wings and kingship. They would haunt his dreams and twist his mind. It would cause Taehyung to scream at night, waking his landlord from downstairs.

His "mother" was married off to someone else, she was happy now. The brunette would always wake up with tear streaks on his face and sore throat, he had been screaming, he had been crying. He had been having thoughts of what he was lacking.

There was this gap in his mind tat he cannot seem to fill. It was an never ending hole that was filled with black ink, no matter how hard Taehyung tries to remember, it just would not get into his head. He had written some things down before, it was in an old journal. But the names and descriptions, it sounded so unreal, so stupid. It sounds so made up.

He tried recreating Jung kook, sketching out his face the best his can, wracking his brain with his pencil as he tried his very best to remember the features of the mysterious man. But every time the pencil lead touches the journal paper, his mind would always go blank. The eyes, the lips, and the nose would vanish from his mind.

"Who are you? Tell me who you are. I am desperate to know you. " Taehyung would always plead in this manner.

Taehyung groaned as his alarm clock went off, a buzzing noise attacked his ears and he had to slam it down with his hand. The buzzing stopped, and the room returned to silence. Taehyung rolled out of bed, trying his best to get himself together. He rubbed his eyes, feeling his dry tear streaks on his cheeks.

"I cried again."

" But why?"

Taehyung dressed up and got to the toilet, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He wiped the frown away from his face and put on a signature smile. He didn't bother making breakfast, he could just grab something on the go. He grabbed his laptop bag and walked out of the door.

He never actually understood why he subjected himself into thinking this person, this...this character was real. He seemed to exists, all his journal entries and thoughts. There was just this one man who kept on appearing again and again. Taehyung shook his head and ran down the stairs, his footsteps echoing down the empty stairwell. He fixed his outfit when he stepped out into the bustling city. He walked quickly to the train station, keeping up his pace as he did not want to be late for work. He liked the impression his co-workers were giving him. They were all kind and helpful, they should understand what Taehyung was going through.

The brunette sighed and tapped his card, entering the station. He took out his phone and checked for notifications, there were no new messages nor emails. There was no new and interesting news anyway. Taehyung slipped his phone back into his pocket and rocked back and forth with the heel of his shoes. He checked for the timing of the train, his eyes darting around for a clock and his ears perking up to listen for a sudden announcement. However, he did not have to as the train slowly approach the station. Taehyung entered the train and waited for it to move. The engine purred and Taehyung found a corner that had a window. The train drove out of its station and picked up it speed as seconds flew by. It burst into the morning city, the tracks giving the people a view of the busy city below.

Taehyung glanced out to the city, only to see green colored trees, vehicles down below and tiny people roaming the streets. He tapped his hand together, trying to distract himself from the thoughts he always had on his mind, his eyes went to the ground. He moved his feet around out of pure boredom and felt the train coming to a stop. The man looked up, checking his stop. He still had one left and he decided to fish out his journal from his bag, trying his best to recall again.

It was an old notebook. The edges were frayed at the paper was turning quite yellow. Taehyung did not mind though, it seemed very personal to him. The cover page was not decorated like he wanted it to be. It was just failed cursive words of his name and some doodling of aliens and puppies. He flipped open the journal and decided to review the first entry again. He noticed that he was crying when he had written that old entry. The pen ink was smudged and diluted. Tear drops were visible on the lined paper, but he could still see his messy handwriting.

Journal Entry #1

I am scared.

Too scared.

I feel like I would forget him. The suicide was so clear in my mind now... I don't know if I can sleep with all the guilt crushing down my soul.

Why didn't I save him? Why did I let him go?

I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have let Mark and Youngjae save me.

I have to remember. I have to remember Jung kook. He is too precious to me. He has done too much for me. He saved my life numerous times, he suffered too much and he had to end like this. This tragic scenario that my heart cannot handle.

Taehyung paused for a short second. He flipped to the next page and starts to read again.

Jung kook, Jeon Jung kook. He had saved me... selling his soul to the pathetic Seungcheol and Jeonghan. He gets chased around, tormented and even got his body beaten up. I cannot take this anymore.

I need a picture, a vision. I need to hold him, kiss him, tell him that everything was okay but... But who would believe me? I couldn't even believe what I was saying. I cannot reassure myself that whatever I am writing now is real!

Just, please... I need him back in my life.

I feel empty without him.

Taehyung felt his heart wrench. He looked up again, checking for his stop and realized that he was a stop away from his get off point. He slammed the journal shut as the door opened slowly. He rushed off to the gantry area and literally slammed down his card a little too loudly and flew out of the station. With his precious journal in hand, he bounded down the street and tried to ignore stares from commuters. He tried his best to run across the roads without getting into an accident and following the train track to get where he should be going. He bit his lip as he jogged on the spot repeatedly, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so that he could get across the road quickly.

As Taehyung saw the traffic lights turn red and the vehicles came to a stop, he sprinted across the zebra corssing and accidentally bumps into one man who was plugged in. He shouted a loud "hey!" and shot a glare towards Taehyung. He muttered back a "sorry" and continued making his way to his office.

And little did he know, he dropped his precious little journal full of secrets.