Chapter Eighteen: Age Five

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You were having a long, horrible night. Killua and Kalluto were both sick with who-knows-what and were simply exploding from all ends. As Kikyo, their mother, was peacefully sleeping in bed, you were trying desperately to care for two small, sick children. With Killua, it was pretty easy to tell he wasn't feeling good and even now was letting you know what he needed. Water, bathroom, blankets, cuddles; he was able to ask. This was contrasted however with Kalluto. Kalluto wasn't talking yet. He was coming up on age three and he still wouldn't say a word. He was also refusing to be weaned off of you, no matter how strict you were. One could only put up with the cries of someone they love for so long. And tonight was one of those nights. As Killua passed out into a brief nap, you decided to allow Kalluto a quick meal. Just as you got settled in your favorite rocking chair you heard a voice.

"Oh. I am sorry. I did not realize that you still did that with them."

It was Illumi, probably here to check up on Killua.

"Mm. I know. I know I shouldn't, but I have such a hard time saying no. Especially when they're so sick."

"Is Kil okay?"

"He's alive."

"Does Kil still... do that?" He pointed at the child attached to your breast.

"Uh, no. He's too old now."

"Oh. Hmm. It seems odd. Does it hurt?"

"Not usually. Kalluto has teeth now though, so sometimes he accidentally bites. And when I had all three children I would get really sore and chapped."

"Chapped? That seems unlikely"

"Well come over here, let me show you something." Illumi came over, highly curious. You took his hand and placed it at the junction of Kalluto's mouth and your breast. "Feel how hard the sucking is. It's unbelievable isn't it? Kalluto may look younger than he his, but he is still very strong."

Illumi was entranced by the process occurring before him and soon enough he was stroking your skin unconsciously. You shuddered at his touch, closing your eyes and having your breath become shallow. He hadn't touched you like this since the birth. The last year in fact, you believed that he hated you. Ever since he heard Killua call you Mama-chan, he had withdrawn from whatever love he had left for you. At least so you believed.

In truth, he loved you as much as he ever had, possibly even more for having put up with the entire situation. He had been incredibly angry when he heard Killua's nickname for you, but he realized it was solely jealousy. You were closer to a parent figure than he was, and that was frustrating. But what broke his angry resolve was the fact that one day, Killua wouldn't always have you. One day, you would be done being a nanny, unless of course you had to nanny any of the next generation of Zoldycks. I certainly don't plan on having any children unless it's with YN. Milluki... probably won't have any children. And Killua should hopefully be more intelligent than I was and wait until he's in his twenties. Illumi began to felt like he could do it. He could wait another fifteen years if he had to. At least that's what his brain felt. His groin certainly felt another way. After getting a taste of pleasure that lead to Killua, he hadn't engaged in any activity. Sure the odd (or incredibly frequent) self-care session so that he could relax, but nothing with anyone else. But as he was hitting the tail-end of puberty, it was becoming difficult to not engage in any activity. And right now, he was barely able to restrain himself.

"I wish I would have watched Kil do this?"

"EH? Why?"

"It seems... important. Calm. Loving."

"Yeah, it is..." You were squirming under his touch at this point, trying desperately not to let out any sound that would awake the children. "So were you just here to check on Killua-sama?" Illumi removed his hand and looked back at you. He had forgotten his original goal, and even now seeing your flushed face and the way you could barely resist his touch, made him want to forget it all and just take you back to his room and show you how much he loved you and missed you.

"Yes. And to ask if you would like any help. It is late at night, those who watch the cameras are not looking for us. Think of it as repayment for helping me with the children when I needed it."

"That was two years ago. You don't need to repay me for anything anyway. You gave me one of the most important things already." By this point, Illumi had laid next to Killua and was holding his hand and cuddling him as he slept.

"Oh? What is that?"

"Killua."


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