My LOVE is Forever (Book 4-1st Alternate Ending)

Part 28

I spend over an hour walking through the Arboretum just to clear my head, and I start to feel better, but now I'm tired. I have went from the bittersweet preparation of a nursery, to the inevitable deconstruction of my brief married life. Between these two things, losing Prince twice, and being four months pregnant, my emotions are spinning like a tornado on a rampage.

Now that I'm feeling more sedated, I head back to the house. This time I do my best not to pay attention to Paisley Park as I pass, I'm definitely not ready to face that yet. Now armed with the garage door remote, I pull right into the garage and head in through the kitchen door. My first stop is the fridge, I'm starving, and I heat up one of the two meal containers left from Rays visit this morning. After eating, I move into the living room, turning on the television for company, I lay down on the sofa and take a nap.

This time, before I had closed my eyes, I had enough sense to set the alarm on my cell phone. When the buzzer sounds, I contemplate hitting the snooze, but the thought of wandering the house again most of the night doesn't appeal to me. So, I make myself go outside to enjoy some more fresh air and sunshine while I work in the garden.

When I come in much later, I head straight for the shower, I'm sweaty and finally physically exhausted enough to match my emotional state. Showered, and in a clean nightie, I'm feeling more relaxed in the house tonight than I did last night. I don't even realize that I bypass the stairs automatically now as I make my way downstairs to eat my dinner in front of the television. Maybe if I keep altering my behavior from what was the norm when I was here with Prince, my stay will be less emotional.

I finish my dinner and sit back, putting my legs up, my eyes are drawn to the closed door of Prince's office several times. His closet was hard enough, I think, but his office was very much his space and has less personal meaning for me, although I think I will still find it just as difficult. During a commercial, I don't fight the urge any longer, I cross the room and attempt to turn the knob, it's locked. I frown and try it again, I never even knew the door had a lock. I go back to the sofa to sit down perplexed, now what do I do, break in? My mind doesn't linger on it too long since I'm so tired, I focus on the nonsense on the television instead until I can no longer keep my eyes open, then I go upstairs to bed.

*******

I wake in the morning remembering no dreams, but as soon as I open my eyes I hear in my mind the words, "the house key." I frown and repeat the words in a whisper, "The house key?" I ponder the meaning, I know the house key opens Prince's suite at Paisley, but I know I have no right to be entering there ever again.

I get up to use the bathroom, still repeating the phase, hmmmmm? I think, grabbing my key ring, I head to the elevator. Downstairs, I approach the locked door of Prince's office, it's worth a shot, I think. The key slips into the lock effortlessly, and turns, a shake my head with a smile, "Such a complicated yet simple man." When I open the door, I stay in the doorway. His scent is strong here, and my eyes scan the room, taking in everything. This was his work/business space, and I've always respected that, and never entered without his knowledge or permission. I consider the words I heard this morning when I woke an invitation into the room, but I'm not ready to be here just yet. My eyes make one more trip around the room, and I back out, closing the unlocked door behind me. I return to the bedroom to get dressed and fix my hair since I know Ray will be stopping by soon.

As I step from the elevator a little bit later, I can see through the front window that Ray's van is approaching from the street. I stop to open the front door, leaving it ajar and head into the kitchen to gather the clean containers from the day before. We meet in the foyer, "Good morning," Ray is chipper as always.

"Good morning, Ray. I can't thank you enough for this, you've really saved me a lot of time and effort by bringing these meals to me."

He laughs, "It's nothing, honestly, I own a restaurant, remember? I cook all day." He pauses, "Prince was much more demanding than you'll ever be," he laughs. The laughter dies quickly as his eyes get misty, "I miss his demands and little notes, though." I nod sadly. "Look who I'm telling, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I know what you mean, he expected top notch from everybody."

When I sigh, Ray asks, "Any requests?"

"No, I'm happy with whatever you want to bring me. Would it make it easier for you if I stopped at the restaurant instead?"

"No, ma'am, if this time is okay for you, it's no inconvenience for me."

We say our goodbyes and he's back on his way, leaving me to eat my breakfast and contemplate going through Prince's office.