Falling For My Trainor

I Hate Him

                                Rose's P.O.V
"I hate him" those words were repeating through my mind like crazy Finn asked if I would ever get back with him. Hate is a strong words and I never believed in it but I want to when it comes to Seth he hurt me like no other. Hell I would be in a better place if I have never met him why couldn't my life be different?. If I fell for someone like Finn he wouldn't have hurt me how Seth has. I'm determined to get over Seth he only thinks about himself and sure he was so sweet. Little did I know there was a intention behind all of that.

I wish I never have met Seth Rollins I wish I never went to black and brave wrestling but unfortunately I did. I was so stupid and naive to go after someone like Seth I should have known. Now I'm heartbroken over a guy who doesn't give a damn about me. After Raw we went back to the hotel room saying my goodbyes I decided to do something I'll never do. The bellas were bothering me all night to go to the bar so I did but I was set on drinking tonight. I've never touched alcohol a day in my life and tonight would be my very first. Quickly I took a shower and got into a all blue romper with cute diamond sandals and no makeup. Tonight I'm forgetting everything no Seth no no one just me on my mind.

Smiling at the bellas as they cheered me on when they saw me "let's go girly! Ready to get drunk?!" "Hell yeah. I'm going to get Brie Mode!". Nerves were kicking in as we pulled up to the bar and quickly shots,tequila were placed in front of me swallowing the tequila shots a burning sensation hit my throat. Shots after shots I was taking the dizziness hit me keep in mind my very first time getting drunk or tipsy. In front of me the bellas places a drink that had vodka and five other alcohols along with juice I swallowed the whole thing and drank about five or seven of them. I was completely knocked out and wasn't aware what I was doing. Rushing to the bathroom to throw up I bumped into Finn "finnnnnn hi—"  I spoke he looked a bit worried before laughing. Wrapping my arms around him and hugging him "what are you doing here huh finnn let's get into Brie mode!!!" He nodded his head in disapproval "cmon Rose no that's not good let's go back to the hotel".

Upset that we were leaving and I had to stop drinking I gave in "fine" Finn and wrapped his arms around me as I slurred words I didn't even know existed. Completely fucked up I started shouting "happy thanksgiving!" Everyone looked my way and looked at me with weirded eyes. Laughing and waving to them I got in the passenger seat "I'm hungry! Finn legs go eat go give me a coffee shhhh! Don't tell no one". My head was pounding hard as the alcohol was getting to me giggling and laughing over nothing. Finn nodded his head in disapproval "cmon let me help you babe" he said in his Irish accent I looked at him and laughed "bring me back to the bellas where is Nikki? Brie? BRIE MODE!!!!!" I yelled on top of my lungs his hand quickly covered my mouth "shhhh you don't want to get kicked out cmon let's get you up to your room.

Smiling at him and talking to myself he's mad it's funny he is acting like a worried father his hand held the small of my waist as he was helping me keeping me up. The elevator opened and Finn clicked the number and on came hell as Seth Rollins appeared in front of me and Dean Ambrose. "Deanie!!! Sethhh!" I hugged both of them Seth looked pissed "what the fuck! Finn what did you do?!" I laughed "shhh Brie Mode!!!! I went to party with the bellas". Rolling my eyes at Seth he is such a party pooper hugging Dean and grabbing Finns hand "lets go" immediately Seth stopped him and I had no choice to huff and walk to my room. I'm drunk but enough to know what I'm doing and what room I'm at the smell of vanilla and blueberry hit me smiling this is definitely my room.

It then hit me Seth used me he didn't love me at all my thoughts then began and I began to make my way to the bathroom and stripped naked so I can take a bath. Cuts fleshed through my stomach as I looked in the mirror "I hate you Rose" "it's your fault Seth left you" those small voices came back to my head. Nodding and screaming trying to get the thoughts NO NO get them out of my head.!  But it's true look at me I looked at my reflection those boring brown eyes started at me back my acne was shown if you got close enough you could see acne scars.

My brown eyes started at my small lips I've always had small lips and oh god the worse my nose I hate my nose. I don't know why people think your joking when you say you hate something about yourself. If only they knew how you felt about something "be your own" my aunts voice boomed through my mind. I'll never be my own especially without you Seth I said as I slouched back to my bathtub and crying as the water ran. I want to leave this earth I don't deserve to be here this earth is to good everyone is to good for me. Closing my heavy eyes tilting my head back letting the water run I slowly fell deep asleep wondering why I'm not good enough.