17 | Finding herself

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Aditi pov:

"My dad will miss me for sure.. Then what about you?", He asked leaning towards me.

Missing him.. That won't happen and I'm sure about it.. Are you sure? My inner voice asked me and I felt a gulp in my throat.. What's going on with me? My heart is getting heavy.. why? I took a deep breath and looked at him.

"I won't m.i.s.s you.", I said stammering.

"Seriously? Then why are tears coming out from your eyes?", He asked and I know that I was about to cry.

Okay.. You can handle this Twinkle..

"These are not for you Vachan.. I'm crying because I'm helpless.. I don't want to see my uncle like that.. I don't know what's your problem to stay here..", I said in a single breathe.

"You won't understand my problem Twinkle.. This place has my darkest memories.. I hate staying here..", he said in a low voice.

"Darkest Memories?? What are you talking about?", I asked him.

"I'm not going to share with you Twinkle.. You are nothing to me..", he said and I felt a bit of pain.

"Umm.. I may be nothing to you.. But listen Vachan.. if you want to share your grief then the door is always open.. I'll help you to get over it..", I said with a sad smile.

"Okay.. I got to go.. bye.. I may not see you again..", I said and turned to leave.

"Where the hell are you going?", He asked.

"College..", I said without looking at him.

"Hey let me drop you..",he said.

"I can manage..", I said and left the place without turning back.. I rushed out of the house and I felt tears rolling down..

Stop you Idiot.. Why are you crying now?

Hurt!! Yeah.. Am I really nothing to him? Not even a friend.. I thought. I took a cab and went straight to my college... I sat on a bench and took my dairy.. I opened it and started penning my thoughts.. Tears are on there way but I didn't stop writing.. I can't share my feelings with anyone except this dairy..

Dear Dairy,

Vachan is leaving again.. I don't know how to I stop him.. I wanted him to be here with me..

Yes, I will miss him.. I'll miss him like hell.. The fights which I had with him are the best moments in my life..I know that I'm falling for him slowly but what about him.. He don't even treat me as his friend.. What are those darkest memories??

Why is he scared of staying here? Though I wanted to help him but he don't want me to do that.. He said that I'm nothing to him but I wanted to be his everything..

It's not an infatuation.. It's love.. I love him.. I convinced myself saying that it's not love but at last I'm here accepting the truth.. I love him.. I like to spent time with him.. I like to fight with him.. I like every moment spent with him but now he is leaving me.. He is going to London.. I'll miss him yaar..

What should I do now? How can I stop him?? I have no idea.. But I'm glad to know about my feelings towards him.. I wrote and closed my dairy..

My thoughts were shattered... His charming face was playing in my mind and I wiped my tears.. "Twinkle.. You are strong right ??then where are these tears coming from?? It's his life and let him take his own decision.. He don't even treat you as a friend and I don't know why you started loving him.. So Leave this topic and move on.. You can't love a guy who doesn't care for you...", My inner voice said and I agreed to that..

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