Best Of Me [YoonMin]

50: Admittance

(Yoongi POV)

I didn't go home until night fell. There was still no word on Jimin's whereabouts. Seokjin and Namjoon had both agreed it was best for everyone to go home, and wait for news. If it were up to me, I would be out there with the police, looking for Jimin. But unfortunately, I had something to resolve before I could go.

I drove Jungkook home with me, the ride was silent.  Even if I wanted to blame Jungkook, or myself, or anyone, my brain just wasn't in the right capacity. I felt drained, emotionally and physically.

I pulled up into the driveway, shutting the ignition off. Jungkook was the first one to step out of the car. I followed, staring at the ground as our shoes crunched the gravel below us. I took a deep breath before pushing the door to the house open, not daring to lift my gaze from ths floor. I could feel eyes burning into me.

I glanced up, biting at my lower lip. Mother and Father were sitting on one of the couches in the living area, Kirang and her parents on another.

"It's about time you showed up." Father stood up. If looks could kill, I'd be dead. He towered over me in an intimidating manner, but really he was just putting on a show for those around him. I wasn't scared. 

"I told you I had something important come up." I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"It's none of your business if that kid is missing. Seriously, he's just some poor orphan with a disease that's gonna kill him anyway." Father scowled, and I could feel my blood boil as he spoke about Jimin.

"No, you know what, it is my business." I had enough. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I stared at my father straight in the eye.

"Jimin is missing. The only person who gave a shit about what I was going through. The one who convinced me to keep living, to keep fighting. He. Is. Missing. My best friend, my savior, my lover..." I swallowed back the lump that was forming in my throat, "Yeah, that's right.  My. Lover. I don't know where he is and it's killing me inside."

The room was dead silent. I wasn't speaking to only my father anymore, but rather anyone who was willing to listen.

"Jimin has my entire heart in his hands. I hurt him so badly...when he found out about my engagment..." The tears in my eyes were threatening to spill over, "Please, please understand....I am in love with him. I need to find him. Kirang..." I made sure she was looking at me before I spoke, "I didn't plan on going through with the wedding until I found out you were pregnant. I was going to cancel it. Do you know why I accepted in the first place?"

No one said anything.

"Because this bastard here, " I shoved a finger in the direction of my father, "Threatened to send my brother some where far, far away to spend his whole life in a miserable place..."

I turned to Jungkook, "That's right...I did this because of you. I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness so you could have yours. And what did you do? You took away the only thing that kept me sane."  Jungkook stared at me with his big doe eyes.

"I'm still willing to go through with the wedding, but it isn't because of you anymore." I turned away from Jungkook, to face the rest of the people in the room, "I'm going through with it because I have to take responsibility for my actions. Kirang is going to be the mother of my child. If you're all still on board, I'll still get married. But first, I need to find Jimin. I need to make sure he's okay. Hate me, call me selfish, I don't care anymore. I owe my life to that boy, and if it's the last thing I do, I will make sure he's okay."

I shifted my gaze to the ground, drowning in the silence around me.

"Okay." Kirang's soft voice broke the silence. She stood up, hands resting on her growing bump, "I'm willing to wait."

"Kirang, are you insane?" Her mother stood, anger in her eyes, "This man just admitted he loved another man, and you're still going  to marry him?!"

"Yes. Why not? He's right, whether we like it or not, we've already formed a family..." Kirang smiled a bit.

"You have three days." My father turned and walked towards his den, "No matter what, you're getting married in three days, if not sooner." His door slammed shut.

The tension in the room was so thick, you could slice it with a knife.

No one said a word, I guess they were still taking in everything I had said. One by one, everyone left the room, leaving me alone with my own thoughts.
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I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I sat on the hood of my car, my knees pulled to my chest and my head resting on my arms. It was a full moon, the silver light illuminating sufficiently.

"Jimin...where are you...?" I muttered quietly to no one, "Please be okay...please...I need you."

It didn't matter to me how much he pushed  me away, I loved him. The words in the last texts he sent, were they sincere? I wanted to believe they were...

If Jungkook hadn't made him upset, Jimin wouldn't of been left alone...he wouldn't have gone missing.

Then again, if I hadn't dragged Jimin into my life, he'd be safe and sound right now. He was so kind, so innocent, so pure...this didn't need to happen to him. He didn't deserve it.

So then, was it all my fault?

I pulled out my phone, scrolling until I saw it.

The last picture Jimin and I took together. We were at the hospital's cafeteria, Jimin was hiding his face in my shoulder as I took the picture. We were so happy then...

I had to find him.

I allowed myself to cry in the lonely darkness of the night.