Connor X OC- Become human

What now?

Connor POV

Jayne hadnt answered me. I tore my eyes away from my son. my son. the smile on my face couldn't be bigger even if i tried. 

"Jayne?" I said, turning to her again. her eyes werent bright. there was no smile on her face. I repeated myself calling her name again. nothing. not a flicker. i felt like i had been shot in the chest. 

"Jayne" I said quitely, this couldnt be happening. I felt Kamski push me out of the way sending to to walk slowly backwards untill i hit the cool wall. Kamski was yelling to me, words couldn't process. I watched as Markus pumped Jaynes chest while Kamksi hooked her up to machines. 

I don't even know how i ended up in the corridoor. I dont remember walking there. time slowed as i continued to walk down the hallway. North ran past me, her ponytail whipping behind her as she made her way  to the room I had somehow come from. 

I walked out to were everyone was waiting. still holding the precious bundle in my arms. I didnt know how to react to what i had just saw. how did I feel? I didnt know what emotion I was feeling at the best of times but now?

"Oh look!" it was Grace I heard first. she was practly jumping for joy. "let me see, iv brought you everything you will need. so dont worry" she continued. I couldn't speak. 

"Connor?" Hank said, I still couldn't meet anyones eyes. "CONNOR!" Hank yelled gruffly. I snapped out of my haze to look at him. i didnt have to say anything, he knew somethign was wrong. 

"Fuck, No!" He ran past me. Graces eyes widened as she heard Hank yell Jayne's name. she ran toward the screams and yells of Hank. I turned, facing back to the hallway i had just come from. just intime to watch Grace meet Hank at the end of the hallway. I couldnt hear what he said to her, but i heard her cry and sob. i watched as Grace fell into a heap on the floor, uncontrollable sobbing.

I felt myself slide down the wall, my legs couldnt carry me anymore. I was to weak. a small cry erupted form the bundle cradled in my arms. I looked down, two big blue eyes staring back up at me, so full and bright with life. not like....

 he wiggled his little hand out of the blanket, reaching out. I soothed him rocking him gentely. i went to brush the brown hair out of his face, but he grabbed my little finger wrapping his whole hand around it, gripping it tight. I smiled, tears dripping from my face. 

What do I do now? 

"you ok buddy?" I looked up after what seemed like a life time of staring into the void. Adam lowered himself to join me on the floor. Grace must have called him. I didnt answer him. I couldnt. 

"I'm sorry, for your loss" Adam spoke softly "i could say it gets easier with time, but thats a lie. it never gets easier, just. bareable." 

"what do I do now?" I croaked. "how do I go on?" he shook his head staring down at the floor. 

"I don't know, but saying goodbye is a start" he said getting up. 

"How can I say goodbye, when he hasn't said hello?" I looked back down to the baby, who was happily asleep. Adam held out his arms for the baby so I could get up. I hesitated. 

"its ok, I wont drop him. I'm a dab hand at babies" I let him take the baby from me, taking his offer of helping me up. just as the baby started to wail, I jumped. I wasn't an AX400 i had no idea what he needed. 

"erm, I think hes hungry?" Adam questioned. 

"oh, I don't-" I started Adam sensing my worry put his hand on my shoulder. 

"don't worry about it, Grace said she packed some formula. I can feed him if you want?" 

"would you?" I said rubbing my eyes. I suddenly felt very tired, i wasnt suppose to get tired. 

"sure bud, hey when your ready I can teach you how to feed him and stuff. I mean if you want" Adam shrugged. 

"thank you." I said weakly, I suppose I will have to get used to doing things... on my own. Adam nodded taking the baby to where the bag grace had packed was. I watched him bounce the baby slightly as he rummaged through the bag. he gave me a reassuring smile.

I walked down the corridor, back to the room. I heard the beeping of machines as i opened the door. Markus and Kamski were still working on Jayne, checking machines and pumping her full of something. I knew it was to late. 

"Oh Connor" Grace sniffed, she gentely took my hand leading me toward where Hank was. he looked white with worry. everyone turned to face me as i walked over to the bed. there she was. 

she looked like she was sleeping. 

"whatt, what happened" I asked weakly, feeling numb. 

"we're not sure, shes not breathing on her own. but her heart is still beating its faint but its there" Markus said. 

"shes not dead Connor" Grace said her grip tightning on my hand. 

"I think the thirium in her blood is keeping  her body alive, but I cant find any brain waves. I'm trying to reboot her system but its going to be a while before we will know anything" kamski said, 

"So fucking try somthing else!" Hank yelled kicking a trashcan in his rage.

"I can't!" Kamski yelled "iv tried I'm sorry there's. There's nothing more I can do"

"we just have to wait. She will pull through this" Grace said. Looking to me for comfrmation that I couldn't give.

" Grace-" Markus began

"no! No fuck you! Her heart is still beating. She's alive" Grace spat.
Grace lunged at Markus before Hank stopped her, holing her back.

"its ok Grace, come on sweetheart" Grace began sobbing again beating against Hanks chest.

This was all my fault. I couldn't keep my eyes off Jaynes body. I wanted to keep hope that s he would wake up in a minute and crack a joke.

Maybe she's just asleep, she looks asleep. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my self to believe  it, but I was to logical for that. I ran the calculations in my head. The changes of Jayne coming back to life were next to non. 0.05% in fact.

"I want to take Jayne back to my lab. I can run tests. Maybe I enhance some of her organs" Kamski muttered to himself.

"do it Kamski" Hank said ,causing him a Kamski to argue back and forth about the best option. I could feel Markus eyes on me. He looked like he was trying to work something out.

"Connor? Where's the baby?"

"Adam has him, he's, he's feeding him" I replied not sure what he was getting at.

"wait Adams here?" Grace sniffed.

"yes didn't you call him?" I said panic rising in my chest.

"no"

............

Ah Damn!

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