Mercy

Chapter Fiftytwo

Note // short filler 💘

Serenity

Harry had his head lying on my chest. Our feet were a tangled vine and my arms there, wrapped around him, to hold onto what's left of him. He hadn't said a word since we've arrived back to his house. His silence confirmed his lack of emotional strength to even speak to me.

What does it even feel like to hold so much in for almost six years? His endurance drained rapidly today because of so many overwhelming emotions crashing back down to him. He held in so much he couldn't do it today. Today was his breaking point.

I stroked his thick curls with my fingers, trying to soothe him. He would breathe in and it would come out shaky. I knew he had cried all his tears, but what could possibly make him feel better after reliving all his grief?

"I love you, Harry. I love you so much." I whispered to him. He would always make the speeches about how he loves me, what he loves about me. I don't think I have ever done as much as him. But, it is my turn to share a few things.

He remained silent, his green eyes staring into the wall beside us.

"I know you feel like...like you mean nothing. You feel like a screw up," I began, already feeling the hard lump in my throat. "But you're so wrong."

"In sixth grade...a while ago obviously," I blurted out, sighing shakily because this was hard for me. "I learned about the human brain a little. And we discussed...that, that people see what their brain manipulates. Sometimes that is why we ask for other's opinions. Because our eyes deceive us." I explained slowly now. "If you're so convinced that something is there, then that something appears that way."

Harry raised his head to look at me. The same puffy eyes and blank expression he was beginning to wear. Because of my point, I began to tear up as I tried to explain.

"Therefore," I tried to say, but it came out soft and nearly a whimper with tears burning in my eyes. "You don't see what we see. You are so fucking convinced that you will be nothing but that guy who will end up in prison, that you feel compelled to see it in every way possible."

I sniffled, staring into his eyes. If I was crying by now, I was too busy trying to say everything on my mind to care.

"Harry, you're so damn wrong, I just want to scream at you for thinking so much shit of yourself," I sobbed. "Y-you are my protector. You are Belle's companion. That little girl didn't have anyone else but you. Imagine if you were another guy? You defended me and stood by me when I fucked up. You pushed away my past and convinced me to be happy about my present and be excited about the future."

I shook my head, crying now. "So why can't you do the same for yourself? I love you so much that bearing your thoughts about yourself feels like I'm twisting a knife into my chest. You think you're stupid? Harry, I learned from you!" I raised my voice a little.

"I learned to be happy. I learned to love you. I learned that whatever anyone thinks of me, it isn't anything compared to what really matters to me. How can someone stupid teach me all those things?"

Harry watched me with watery eyes; like I've shot him with words.

I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart.

"That right there is the heart of someone with so much potential. I know, we ageed to never be cheesy, but this is different. This is you and I. This is our type of cheesiness. This is your heart, your healthy beating heart that gave so much for everyone else. You're selfless in a bold, hard way. Even though it is a good thing, I think it's time you focused on yourself."

He moved over me more, gently placing his own hand over my hand that remained on his chest. Once he leaned forward, he rubbed his nose against mine like we would do a lot. The type of cheesy gesture he does to me.

"I love you," he whisered back, sniffling and successfully avoiding tears again. "This heart isn't mine. It belongs to you."

"And mine, is yours." I replied, managing to smile at him. He pressed his forehead against mine, placing a soft peck on my lips.

"You're my my one and only." Harry grinned gently. "And you're my baby. My girl. Mine. I am so lucky to have you."

He kissed me again. I said, "You are the most willing to protect me at all cost, but I need to protect you, too."

"I know, baby. I know. That's why I know I'm always going to need you. I was never certain about what I want to do with my life, but I know that I want you in it. And maybe it'll take a while before I'm getting my life together, but I'm going to need you here."

"I promise you, I'm not going anywhere." I told him, leaning up to kiss him on the lips.

"Not even if some perfect guy comes along and --"

I scoffed. "Have you looked in the mirror?"

He playfully waved his hand. "Psst, oh stop it, baby. I know."

I laughed as he cuddled into me with a grunt. He snuggled his face into my neck while I placed my hand in his hair.

"But what if another guy does show up? You are beautiful. Any guy would want you."

"Everyone has their definitions of perfect." I said, giggling as he made butterfly kisses into my skin.

"And you're mine." I finally said.