Chapter 22

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That night, Lea and Sméagol were both hanging out at Bri and Damian's house. They were all sitting on the couch in the living room with Celtic Woman playing in the background. Lea had just shown Bri the horrible text message Ivan sent her.

"I cannot believe that asshole actually said that stuff to you!" Bri shouted. "I am not a violent person, but I just wanna punch him in the testicles right now! I wanna take a baseball bat, and whack him in the balls around the tiny penises of all the private parts of all his... nasty, gross, disgusting junks."

Lea, Sméagol, and Damian laughed.

"I am dead serious!" Bri laughed. "If I were a crazy, violent person, he wouldn't have any junk left."

The others continued laughing. Then, they calmed down.

"But, in all seriousness," said Bri, "it just blows my mind that someone could be that mean, and could actually have the balls to say that stuff. Like, what the crap?"

"Yeah," Lea agreed. "I had a really bad meltdown, because of it."

"Aww, Honey." Bri hugged her friend.

"I'm just really glad Sméagol was there, because..." Lea began to tear up a little.

"Because, what?" asked a worried Damian.

Lea hesitated. "I wanted to hurt myself... badly."

"Hurt yourself how?"

"Like... cut myself, punch myself... on purpose, not SIB. I wanted to punish myself somehow for whatever I did to Ivan." She began to cry. "Like, I must've done something really bad to deserve a horrible text like that, to deserve to be cheated on... and to deserve to be told good riddens if I were to die."

Bri caressed Lea's head. "No, Honey—"

"And, you know, I never said I would die without him. I never said I would die if he left me. I said I would die if anything ever happened to him. We were having this conversation, one time, about death and car accidents and how you never know how long you have. I told him that, if anything were to happened to him, and he died, it would kill me, and I wasn't trying to manipulate him when I said that. I wasn't trying to make him feel guilty. I was just—"

"I know. You loved him so much that the thought of him dying destroyed you. You wanted him to live for a long time, because you didn't wanna lose him. I know how that feels. You know my biggest fear is losing Damian. It would kill me if he died."

"It would kill me if Bri died, too," said Damian. "When you truly love someone, even just the thought of losing them hurts like hell."

"And, it blows my mind that he would twist that into something so screwed up."

"I just... I've heard all this shit so many times from so many freaking people. 'You're too sensitive. Toughen up.' 'You need to lose weight, because you're fat.' 'This is wrong with you. That's wrong with you.' I've heard it my whole fucking life, and I still hear it over and over and over, so..."

"So, it thinks it's true, does it?" asked Gollum.

"Yes."

Gollum wrapped his arm around Lea's shoulder. "It's not, Precious. It's not true."

"Gollum's right, Lea," said Bri. "I know he hasn't known you for long, but he already knows you really well, him and Sméagol both. And, we know you, too, Lea. Damian and I, we've known you for a long time now, and you have never done anything to hurt us. You have never made us feel manipulated or guilty. You never came off as anything other than a kind, beautiful, talented, amazing, strong person with the voice of an angel. When I was at my worst, which was a lot, you went out of your way to make sure I was okay. You were there for me through it all. You never judged me, never made me feel ashamed of my eating disorder or my other mental health problems or my other health problems. You always lifted my spirits and made me laugh, even when I was feeling like absolute shit. And, you cheered me on, and you believed in me. You believed I would recover, and I did. You and Damian both helped me."

"It's how we feels about you, too, Lea," Gollum said.

"Yes, Precious," Sméagol added. "You're a sweetie-pie."

"Awww." Bri began to tear up. "You know, I wouldn't even be here without you and Damian," she said passionately, "so it makes me so angry that Ivan, or anyone for that matter, would tear you down, and make you believe things about yourself that are not true! It just... it blows my fucking mind, and it makes me sick!"

"Gollum! Gollum!" Gollum gurgled angrily.

"I know, right?" Bri agreed. "See? Gollum's pissed, too."

"So am I," Damian scoffed.

"Me, too!" Sméagol agreed. "Lea's my friend! Nobody hurts Sméagol's friends!"

"You said it, Sméagol," said Bri. "See how loved you are, Sweetie?" she said to Lea.

"You guys are the best," said Lea.

"So are you."

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