Bradga Short Stories

After [5/5] (TW; mentions of addiction and suicide)

Stefani's POV:

present day...

After I'd told him and showed him that I was more than hurt and angry at him we didn't talk. I was hiding inside of our bedroom and he stayed in the living room. I was sat on the bed and tried to get my head straight again.

I didn't know what would happen now. Did he even deserve a chance to explain? Would it change anything? I wasn't sure. I quietly cried and buried my face into my hands. I didn't even notice he'd come into the room until I felt his arms wrap around me. He held my shaking body in his comforting arms and just held me. He didn't say anything or dared to move any more. He just held me.

As he held me, let me cry and gently rubbed my back with his fingers I realized that this whole thing had hurt me more than I let myself believe. I hadn't cried after that day at the hospital when he didn't want to see me and bombarded myself with work as a distraction. I didn't think about it, every time someone had mentioned his name I'd changed the topic and pushed every single possible thought to the back of my brain.

I also realized that I still loved him. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I did. I hadn't felt as safe as I felt inside of his arms in the past months, not even close to it. I needed him.

I wiped a few tears away and pulled my body out of his tight embrace. He let me go but stayed close as he watched me fiddle with my fingers.

"Bradley, I thought I'd lost you. I thought you'd never wake up again and that..." I hesitated and let out another sob.

Bradley wiped at his own eyes and shook his head. "What? What did you think?"

"I thought it was my fault you wanted to die." I finally said it out loud and tore my eyes away from his. I couldn't look at him. I was afraid he'd give me the answer I didn't want to be true.

Bradley immediately paled, his eyes widened and he shook his head while some tears rolled down his cheeks. I hadn't seen him cry before, so the simple gesture sent me into overload. Why was he crying? I felt the need to wipe his tears away but I didn't.

"It was not your fault." He started, sobbing before he calmed down a bit to continue speaking. "If anything, all of this was my fault. It is my fault, Stef. Oh god, I was so scared of talking to anyone. I distanced myself from you when all I wanted to do was talk to you, because I love you. Fuck, I love you so much, Stef." He buried his face into his hands and shook his head before he dared to look at me again. "It happened again. I got so depressed and anxious over anything and I didn't want you to worry so I kept it to myself until I couldn't take it anymore."

"Bradley, you can always talk to me." I interrupted him, gently taking his hand into mine. "I'm your wife for God's sake. I married you because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you and that includes taking care of you and helping when you need me to." I felt him intertwine our fingers and I managed to smile a little through my blurry vision.

"You shouldn't have to." He said quickly. "I should be okay. I have everything I want, I have you. I have no reason to be depressed or anxious at all. I've been sober for 15 years for fucks sake!" He ran his free hand through his messy hair.

"Mental illnesses don't make sense, Bradley. If they did then we wouldn't be struggling so much to get rid of them or find a cure. You have to talk to someone about them, though. You have to get the help you need." I almost begged him and wiped a tear away that fell.

"I'm so sorry, Stef." He barely whispered and I could see it in his eyes. The tears in them made them look even more like an ocean and the honesty and guilt in them made me feel all kinds of things.

"Why didn't you want me to visit you. I mean, when you woke up?" I asked, searching his face for the answer before he could even give it. I saw shame and before he could speak I interrupted him. "You didn't want me to see you like this because you were ashamed." I stated the obvious and he nodded.

"I know it was stupid. I can't imagine what it must've felt like." He apologized again.

"It was stupid indeed. You were also exceptionally stupid for not talking to me. I kind of get where you're coming from but you have to understand that your health and happiness comes above anything else, including my job and time schedule. I would've never spent a whole week in LA if I'd known you were struggling this bad, B. We could've arranged it to be here, you could've come with me, we could've made it work but you have to promise me to talk to me. No secrets, no trying to hide stuff from me because you don't want me to worry. I do worry about you anyway, might as well tell me so I can work with it." I saw him look away from me again, his body tense.

"I don't want you to sacrifice your life for me, Stef." He said in a cold tone.

"Bradley, stop." I warned him. "We promised each other to protect and love the other no matter what when we got married and I'm not breaking my promise. I love you, B!" I placed my palm against his cheek and made him look at me again. "I love you." I repeated.

"Why? You could do so much better, honestly." He sighed.

I giggled and rolled my eyes. "I don't want anyone else, you're my forever and you should really accept that. It's not going to chance." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck before I pressed a longing kiss onto his lips. It was everything: a way to say 'I love you' and 'I miss you' and 'we'll make it through this'.

"I love you. More than anything else on this planet and I'll get better. For you." Bradley said when we pulled away.

"Do it for yourself. You deserve it." I said, but acknowledged him trying for me.

"I don't deserve you, fuck." He breathed out with a small chuckle.

"You deserve everything and more, B. You just can't see it yet." I said and pulled him in for another kiss.

I knew it wouldn't be easy but I also knew that he was worth the fight. He survived and we were both ready for this battle.

This is the official last part! Hope you enjoyed this little 'series'. If you'd like to read the epilogue I wrote spontaneously the other day then let me know and I'll publish it next!