Midge the Neko - Boyxboy -complete-

Chapter 37 -- Hotel

Scott found the hotel without any trouble and went inside to get a room. He hated leaving Midge in the car but he was still such a mess that Scott didn't want him drawing too much attention to himself. He looked towards the car constantly while he handed over his credit card and waited for the key.

"We're all set, we can park and go up" he told Midge once he was back. He parked in the overnight lot and grabbed both of their bags from the trunk. "Come on, Midgey, let's go."

He crawled out of the backseat on autopilot and followed Scott through the lobby and into the elevator. He gasped and grabbed the railing when it started its journey up and was very glad to get off once the doors opened. He walked into the room behind Scott, spotting the large bed in the middle of the room immediately. "May I go to sleep?"

"Aren't you hungry? I can order room service and we can have dinner."

"I am not hungry Sir, but I will stay awake and eat if if pleases you."

"Stop, please Midge. Stop with the 'sir' and the 'whatever you'd like' and the 'if it pleases you'. We've been over this and it's NOT us. Okay? This is you and me now, we're the only ones in the room. Why don't you lay down and I'll wake you up when the food gets here, okay? We'll compromise."

"Whate... that is fine." He stripped out of his new clothes, folding them carefully and laying them on top of his bag. "May I use the bathroom?"

"Of course you can, you don't need to ask." He sighed as he watched Midge disappear and the door close. He had royally fucked up today and he didn't know how to fix it. There was NO way he was going back to that house and he knew Sebastian wouldn't let him pick up Misty and bring her here or out to a damn movie. There was no answer. And his Midge, his Midge was miserable. He wished Midge would yell at him, tell him how much he'd fucked up and get his feelings out but he couldn't imagine that happening. No, Midge would suck it up and deal, no matter how bad he felt. He had to figure out a way to help him feel better, and quick.

Midge walked out of the bathroom and sat on the floor in front of his bag. Carefully he moved the pile of clothes to the side and undid the zipper. Once he had retrieved his stuffed Marley, he crawled into bed, holding her tight.

"I'm surprised you packed her instead of bringing her to ride in the car with you."

"She is not real Scott, she does not mind."

He didn't know what to say to that because it was true, and yet somehow still very sad. He grabbed the menu and called down to order dinner, then went and kissed Midge on the cheek and noticed it was wet. "Do you want me to hold you? Do you need comfort?"

"Please" he sobbed. He was ashamed of his outburst, and fought down his emotions but he didn't really have the strength.

Scott jumped in behind him and wrapped his arm around him. He felt Midge shift and he loosened up so he could turn, snuggling against Scott's chest. "I'm here, it's okay little one. It will be alright." He said the words, but wasn't sure if all of them were true. "I'm so sorry."

"You do not need to apologize."

"Oh Midge, I wish the words could help. If they did I'd say it a thousand times. But even though they can't, I need to do it anyway because I was wrong and I hurt you and I don't know what else to do."

"You did not hurt me, I hurt myself. I should not have misbehaved."

"NO. NO no no. I'm sorry, but no. You did NOTHING wrong. Please believe me. There were only two people in that room who did anything wrong. One was Sebastian who, by the way, just in case you weren't sure how I feel, is a complete fucking douchebag. The other was my stupid ass, who should have been able to control my emotions. I wanted you to see her SO badly Midge, and I ruined it."

"I did see her."

"But you didn't really, and it's my fault."

"I saw her more than I ever thought I would, and it was all because of you. You introduced me to Zac and told him to talk to Sebastian. You gave me permission to come and even drove me the whole way out here. If not for you, I would never have seen her. Now I know she is okay."

"She's NOT okay Midge. I'm sorry, and I know that's the last thing you need to hear right now, but he's an ass."

"But she loves him. She is happy enough."

"How can she be?"

"She is happy in the same way I was with Trent; she does not know any different."

"I don't know what to say to that. If you think she's happy, who am I to argue? I'm glad, if it's true. But I'm really confused... why are you crying? Your words don't match your tears Midge."

"I misbehaved. I do not like failing. I do not like to need punishment and I do not like to receive it. I do not know what came over me the past week, but you are my Master and I can not treat you the way I do. I am sorry. I have taken advantage of your kindness. I do not deserve you."

"None of that is true Midge. He should NOT have hit you and I am not your master. YOU are your master and you are so, so good to me. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. Don't let him have this power over you, don't let him get in your head."

"How am I going to go back?"

"Back where?"

"I am sorry, I should not speak of this to you."

"Yes, yes you should honey. Back where?"

"To where I belong. How do I give up learning to read, speaking out, making my own choices? I do not know how I can do it."

"You're not going to. Ever. No one should live that way."

"But I must, it is who I am!"

"No it's not. Listen to me, we're only going forward Midgey, not back. I'll be here and we'll make it work."

"I can not. You make me think I can do things I can not do. You make me think things are possible and they are not."

"You can, and you are, and you will. Why do you say that?"

"Because I am scared. I am so, so scared."

"It's okay Midgey, everyone else is too."