Midge the Neko - Boyxboy -complete-

Chapter 49 -- Listen

Midge lay in bed listening for Scott to call him or come get him but neither of those things happened.  The apartment got very, very quiet so eventually, around 4 am, he figured that Scott had gone to sleep.  He snuck out the door and to the bathroom, then detoured into the living room to check on him.  He found Scott, of course, but couldn't figure out why he would sleep there.  Then he realized that he meant to keep him in.  But why didn't he just chain me? He grabbed the blanket from the couch and covered him up, then curled up next to Scott's feet and tried to get some sleep.

Scott shifted for about the 18th time that night, then noticed the daylight coming through the windows and decided he HAD to get out of this chair no matter how tired he was. He pushed down the blanket he didn't remember having and spotted Midge sleeping on the cold, hard floor.  The crazy boy hadn't even gone over on the carpet, he'd lay down as close to Scott as he could get.  "Midge?"

"Yes Si.. Scott.  Sir?" He looked up, trying to figure out which one was right, what Scott wanted.

"It will ALWAYS be Scott.  Just Scott.  Not Sir and absolutely not master.  Please.  Why are you sleeping down there?"

"I did not want to leave you.  I know you said... I am sorry.  You said to go to the room and you did not tell me I could come out."  He stood and took a few steps before Scott could grab his hand.

"No, it's fine.  You're not like, what?  Grounded?  I just, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you what to do.  I was so mentally fried, I just couldn't even think."

"It is fine.  I just... I missed you.  What would you like me to do?"

"What do YOU want to do?  You look exhausted."

"I am tired but you are also tired and did not sleep well.  Why did you not you chain me so you could sleep without worrying?"

"CHAIN?  What? NO.  No no no, I was just scared you'd leave and I'd never find you.  I would never... I didn't mean to trap you.  I did though, didn't I?  Fuck.  I am such a fuck up!  I'm sorry."

"It is fine."

"No it's not.  I just, I knew we didn't fix anything and I still don't know why you left and if I had woken up this morning and you were gone again... I don't know what I would do."

"Does it make you sad?  I did not mean to make you sad."

"You're breaking my heart Midge, I ... I need to fix this, now.  I can't deal.  Can we talk?  Can we try this again?"

"Of course."

Once Midge was seated on the couch with him, he tried to make him understand.  "I've realized that I need to be really, really specific with you, it's the only way we have a chance of getting through this.  So, yes/no questions, and I want the truth please.  Question 1.  Did I do or say something that made you leave?"

"Yes" he answered softly.

"What?  Was it the night before?"

"No.  That was the most... no."

"Something that morning?"

"Yes." Midge didn't know where to look.

"That made you think I didn't want you, right?"

He couldn't say the word, so he just nodded.

"What did I say?" Scott asked, bewildered.

"You told me you did not want me with you."

"No, I NEVER said that.  It's not true, at ALL, so I know I didn't say it.  What did I say?  Exactly?"

"You said I should move to my own room and be alone."

Scott tilted his head back and sighed.  "The apartment.  You ran away because I wanted to give you... you thought...... alright.  Okay.  We're getting somewhere.  But I didn't mean I didn't want you!"

"You are too kind to tell me, but I understand."

"No you don't.  God this is so hard for you and I'm trying to not get frustrated but... I don't know what to do Midge, I don't.  I want to put my foot down and I can't, I won't but it would make things easier.  Midge, you can NOT leave me again without telling me, please?  Please?  If you really want to leave, if we talk and you want to leave me I *will* let you but I will make sure you have someplace to go, money, a plan.  You can't go running out into L.A., it's just not safe!  What if someone had found you?  What if you'd been taken?  What if you got hurt?"

"No, no, do not cry my Scott.  Please?  I am so sorry.  I did not mean to upset you.  You are angry and sad.  You should punish me, you will feel better."

"Trust me, not an option and I wouldn't feel better."

"Then you will only make me stay out yesterday?  That is all?"

"What?  You mean the notes.  No, Midge, I wasn't here!  I was out looking for you all day.  I didn't see them until an hour before you came home.  I knew you might think that, that's why I propped the door open.  Midge, I would never lock you out.  I wanted you home SO badly."

"Oh.  I did not think you would look for me."

"Of course I did!  Oh you silly, precious boy.  You absolutely have no idea how much I care about you, do you?  You have no fucking frame of reference, you just don't get it." He fingered the bracelet on his wrist, turning it around and around.  "Let's just put it this way.  I'm still wearing mine."

"I did not want to leave my collar but I knew it was very expensive and I did not want to steal it."

"It was a gift, one I'd really like you to put back on."

"Do you mean it?  I do not deserve to,  you should not let me come back.  Even with my tattoo, and being broken, I am worth much."

"You're not broken and I want you back more than you know.  I will never, ever sell you Midge, I don't know why you can't get that through your head.  Listen to me, and listen carefully.  I want you.  I desire you.  I need you.  I love you so, so much."