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"Why are you even thanking me?! I came over here to talk to you about why the hell you were paying Mark to look over me. I am not a child. Then suddenly I was treated with affection and then I was your fake girlfriend. What the fuck is going on?! I yelled out completely pissed off at him.
"Calm down," he said as he placed his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose.
"I will not calm down until you fucking tell me what's going on" I shouted at him.
"Look I felt bad for calling you a good fuck. I felt guilty so I had to do something" he said and I felt as if I was stabbed directly to the heart.
He was doing this for his conscience.
"And you thought by having someone watch over me would help?" I asked as anger laced my voice.
He averted his gaze to the floor and I said "You know what? Now I just feel horrible for falling for you" before turning on my heels to leave.
"Y/n?! Wait! That's not what I meant" he shouted as I placed my hand on the doorknob.
"What did you mean San? What else could that even mean? You were just trying to defeat the guilt that was eating you out slowly" I said disgustedly before walking out of his house slamming the door shut.
Tears were at the brim of my eyes as I rushed to my car.
Why do I have to be so emotional?
I hopped into the car and wasted no time as I stepped on the gas.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter as it hit me.
"I confessed to liking him and he didn't even care," I said in tears.
I arrived at my apartment and plopped my figure onto my soft bed.
I was in the comfort of my home by myself.
I don't need San.
I whimpered as I remembered the way he treated me earlier.
He treated me as if I was precious and gave me affection and attention.
But it was all just an act.
He felt guilty and was just doing this to make up for what he said.
My eyelids got heavier and before I knew it, I passed out.
°°°
"Why do I even feel guilty? This is not like me. I've slept with many women and said hurtful things to them yet I never felt this way." San said as he rubbed his sweaty palms on his blue jeans.
He remembered how y/n fitted perfectly into his t-shirt and how effortlessly beautiful she looked.
Or the way she becomes dominant when she's angry.
Or the way her ponytail bounces around when she walks.
His heart fluttered a bit when he remembered what she said earlier. "She feels horrible for falling for someone like him"
But he didn't care about the part where she said she felt horrible for doing it. He cared about how she said that she likes him.
He realizes now that he too, was falling for her but it wasn't going to happen on his watch.
He shouldn't like her. She should be used but yet he couldn't use her.
Just like the day at Seonghwa's party, he had to escape before she returned from the bathroom.
She should be punished and yet his thoughts of punishments only made things sexual in his mind.
He couldn't let this happen.
He couldn't fall for her.
He picked up his phone and dialed the odd digits. He waited for her to pick up then he said "Come over"
Sapphire voice out "did your girlfriend leave you with a hard-on?"
He said "She's not my girlfriend"
Sapphire replied with "I'll be there in five" before hanging up the phone.
San liked the monster he had become not the way he was becoming.
In this moment, he didn't consider Jongho's feelings. He knew that Sapphire meant nothing more than a good night and he was going to use it to his advantage.
He wanted to be the guy that doesn't love but yet he was falling for her.
He knew that he could've fixed it but he wasn't going to try.
