Hopeless

Chapter fifty-three

Magnus whirled around when he noticed a change in the rythm of the Machines attached to Alec's body. "Alec?", Isabelle asked and took his hand. "Hey.", He said, his voice rough as if he was sick. "Thank God.", Vivien said and crouched down next to his bed. "What happened?", Alec asked, his face pale. Then he looked down, saw the blanket covering his body and the giant tube stuck in his stomach. He saw it, he saw a liquid being sucked out of himself. "You fell unconscious.", Isabelle said but Alec wasn't listening. Slowly, he pulled away the blanket and saw it. There was a big hole in his body. Someone stuck a tube inside of him, but he didn't feel any pain. Nothing. He just felt tired. "Alec, what is wrong?", Magnus said, trying to touch his boyfriend but Alec flinched. "I don't want this.", He whispered. "I don't want this!", He said, louder. His hands were dangerously close to the plaster that secured the tube in his stomach. Luckily, Vivien saw what Alec was thinking of doing immediately and took both his hands, slowly leading them away from his body. "I don't want this to happen all over again. Last time I was here, I saw all the bruises but I didn't feel anything. I don't want this numbness again." "Alec, it's the meds.", Magnus said but Alec cut him off:" I don't want those meds! Whatever they do, I don't want it! I want to feel something!" Isabelles eyes widened- she has never seen her brother so sensitive about anything. "Alec, what is really wrong?", Vivien asked, "Magnus can ask to lower the dose of pain medicine if that helps but I don't think that's the problem here." A small tear escaped his eye. "Alec!", Magnus sighed and wiped it away. "I can't be like this again. I am burdening everyone of you, but I feel good. Do you get what I mean? You are in pain because of pain I don't feel! I can't be ruining your lives again. Maybe I am just not made to be here anymore." "Alec-", Magnus whispered, the secret they were keeping laying heavy on his chest:" Be careful with what you wish for." "What do you mean?", Alec asked in astonishment. "We have bad news, big bro. Really bad news.", Isabelle sobbed and Alec immediately took her hand:" Hey, what is wrong?" "Alec, your only kidney is about to stop working.", Magnus said, his voice flat. "What do you mean?", Alec asked, pearls of sweat forming on his forehead. "Your second kidney has been damaged by the extreme blood loss, mainly of your open thigh fracture. This is why it is loosing it's function. Alec, you need a transplant.", Vivien said. As much as she hated being the one to tell him, she had to say something. She couldn't just sit around. Alec deserved to know. Alec let his upper body drop back on his pillow. "I am going to die, am I right?", He asked quietly. "Alec, you are not going anywhere.", Magnus said and took his hand. "And how are you going to ensure that? Give me your kidneys?", Alec replied sensitivity. "Actually, that's the plan.", Isabelle said. Alec whirled around:" You must be kidding me. You can't do that!" "I can't, you're right. I can't because you need your transplant now and as long as I am pregnant I can't donate it to you. But Jace can. And he is being checked up right now to see if he's a fit." Alec dropped his jaw:" You have no idea what risk you are taking." "There is no higher risk than losing you, Alec.", Vivien said. "What if this happens to you?", Alec said, "you will regret not having two kidneys anymore!" "We will never regret saving your life. No matter what it costs.", Isabelle said. Out of nowhere, the door opened. "I am so sorry. My blood type doesn't match.", Jace said and dropped himself on the ground next to Alec's bed. "I'm so sorry bro.", He said to Alec. "None of you has to do this.", Alec said. "Yes we do. Because we love you. I will try next.", Magnus said and followed Cat through the door. "You know you might lose your job if you do this, right?", She said but Magnus looked at he like he had never looked at his best friend before:" I'll do whatever it takes to save the man I love, Cat." "I see that.", She replied," but don't you want to wait if maybe another donor shows up?" "I have no time to wait, Cat.", Magnus said, "Alec has no time at all. And I won't be as selfish as I was before. I won't make the same mistake and put myself, Asmodeus or my work before the man I love the most." "I understand.', Cat said and let him sit down in the room she took the blood tests in. "Okay, I definitely don't have to explain what's gonna happen to you so I'll just take the tests.", Cat chuckled and Magnus made himself comfortable by leaning back. A few minutes later the tests were done and now Magnus had to simply wait. He watched the clock go tik tok, feel the minutes pass. Awufully long minutes. Minutes filled with endless fear and worry. A million thoughts were buzzing through his head. He knew he could've prevented it. He knew he should've paid more attention to Alec, asked him how he was. He just survived a huge accident, after all, but Magnus treated him as if everything was okay and as if there has been no need to worry at all. But there was. The signs were completely clear. If Vivien wouldn't have came by because of some coincidence, Alec would have died under Magnus' supervision. He knew he had to do everything to make this right. "Magnus, I've got your results.", Cat said as she entered the room 15 minutes later. And Magnus saw she wasn't happy.