Not Okay

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A/N: Gender neutral self-insert Dark one shot with mentions of anxiety and depression. If that's triggering to you, maybe skip this one. Otherwise, enjoy some fluff.

Not Okay

Things were tough lately. Depression and anxiety were vicious beasts, always pulling your emotions this way and that way, controlling your every thought and action even when you tried your best not to let them. You had ups and downs with these issues, and you were definitely headed downhill currently.

Your demons affected you in many ways. You spent a lot more time in your room, isolating yourself when that was the last thing you needed. You always wanted to sleep, although often times, worries and racing thoughts wouldn't let you. Eating wasn't exactly your biggest concern anymore; sometimes you had a normal amount of meals in a day, but sometimes you were lucky if you had one. You had no interest in your favorite things, making it hard for you to distract yourself from your mental battles. These were just a few possible side effects, but they were the most prominent ones at the moment.

Your roommate, Dark, usually kept to himself as much as possible. But he seemed to take notice in your unusual behavior, because he surprised you.

There was a soft knock on your door as you sat on your bed with your knees to your chest, frustrated that you couldn't find anything new on Netflix to watch. You had brought a plate of food up to your room with you earlier, but it remained untouched next to you on your bedside table.

"Come in," you hollered, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ears as a lazy attempt to improve your appearance.

Dark opened your bedroom door and let himself in, dressed in a nice suit as usual while you were in sweatpants and a t shirt.

"Oh, hi Dark. Did you need something?" you asked.

"I just wanted to check on you. I noticed you've been spending a lot of time in here lately. Is everything okay, y/n?" Dark wondered.

"Yeah. I'm just tired is all," you fibbed, not able to make eye contact. You were always a terrible liar.

"Please don't lie to me, y/n. Look at me." His tone was softer than normal, but you still didn't dare disobey him. You gave him your gaze. "Be honest with me. Are you okay?"

Your eyes welled up with tears that you had to fight back. "No. I'm not okay."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dark inquired.

"It's like I just can't be happy anymore," you sniffled. "I have so many negative thoughts, and every time I try to distract myself from them, they just come flooding back. I don't enjoy anything anymore."

"It's okay to feel that way. But you've got to take care of yourself. You can't stay in here by yourself 24 hours a day."

"I know. I just don't want to bother anyone else with my problems. So I've just been keeping to myself."

"How about you and I spend some time together tonight?" Dark offered.

"Dark, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think you really want to be around me right now..."

"I really do," Dark promised. "We could hang out in my room. My bed is bigger and more comfortable, and I just put some fresh sheets and blankets on it. Not to mention the fact that I have a bigger TV."

"You hate letting other people in your room," you said, surprised at him.

"And it gets awfully lonely in there sometimes because of that. Come on, y/n. We'll order in whatever you like. And we could have a y/f/movie/series marathon. It's been a while since you've last seen them, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, it has."

You eventually gave in and got all set up in Dark's room. He ordered y/f/takeout and you laid in bed with him, watching your favorite movies. For once, he wore sweatpants and a t shirt like you, and he let you cry into his shoulder when your emotions got to be too much. You didn't have to ask for his touch; he pulled you close and held you. Normally, you thought of Dark as a cold and distant person, but his embrace was shockingly warm and comforting.

When you fell asleep next to Dark, he didn't complain. He let you sleep and eventually he drifted off himself, neither of you waking up until morning. You felt a lot more positive when you awoke. And you knew that feeling wouldn't last forever, but you didn't let that bother you. You decided to take advantage of it while it lasted. For the first time in a long time, you felt okay, and that was all you could really ask for.

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