The Boy with the Two Toned Hair (Bon X Reader)

Chapter Fifty-Eight

GUYS I NEARLY CRIED WHEN I FINISHED THIS.
It's not sad, I'm just not ready for the end to be within a few chapters. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know if you'd I'd by dropping a vote and/or comment. Thanks and enjoy!

(Y/N)'s POV

My heart pounded against my chest as I forced myself up the stairs of the school, Shura just a few steps behind me, a steadying presence at my back. Though she couldn't help me, and couldn't even enter the battle area, she demanded that she see me to the roof. She was my mentor and my teacher, she knew what words I needed to hear right now, or maybe there were no words at all. She could have been giving an entire monologue, and I would have never heard it over the blood rushing in my ears.

It felt as if my legs were made of lead and my arms of noodles as I pulled myself up the stairs of the old building. My arms fell limply by my sides, the rings on my middle fingers humming with energy. The normal buzz of the two demons whispering to me was silent, and I couldn't tell if the silence was better than their arguing or not.

With the way my arms were feeling, I wasn't sure I could be able to lift a pencil, much less a sword. At that moment, it was like I had forgotten how to fight. My mind was blank. I was sure when I got onto the roof, I was going to forget who to hold my sword, to block to swing, to do anything. A lead ball settled in my stomach, my chest clenching, a lump forming in my throat. I didn't know what to do. Everything I had been taught, every drill and move that had been hammered into my brain was gone. I was done for.

Everything about this situation felt wrong. I was only in high school. This wasn't the life I saw for myself. This was not what I imaged my life would be like when I entered True Cross Academy. I envisioned myself making friends, smiling, laughing, crying, with my friends; all the normal things that came with being a teenager. After high school, if I became an exorcist, I wanted to settle down with a husband and do my job. I wanted to work a 9-5 workday and come home to the comfort and support of my husband.

Now, standing before the door to the root, to the last day of this hellish nightmare, I came to the realization that none of that was going to happen. I wasn't going to get to live my fairy tale dream. I wasn't going to plan my wedding. I wasn't going to pick out a wedding dress. I wasn't going to stand before my friends and family as I married the man I loved. I wasn't going to bring our children into the words. I wasn't going to get to see my brother married. I wasn't going to see him in the role of a father. I wasn't going to see my father and Mio play with his grandchild that had his freckles. That future was gone. That hope was gone.

Only then did I realize the sticky tears rolling down my face. And I let them come. For just this moment, I would wallow in the self-pity that I felt. Then, it would be time to open the door and face my fears. I knew this is what I had to do. This would save countless lives. I couldn't just back out now because I didn't want to say goodbye to what-ifs. Just because I couldn't live out my dreams didn't mean other people couldn't live out theirs. I would do this for them.

I would do this so that others had a future. I would do this so that Tobias and Emi could get married. I would do this so they could have kids of their own. I would do this so my father would get to meet his grandchildren that had his freckles. I would do this so hundreds of others would do the same thing. I would do this for them.

I jumped as a hand settled on my shoulder. Whipping my head around, I looked back to see that it was only Shura. "You got this, kid," she said, her voice unwavering, her eyes never leaving mine. "This is what you've trained for; it's quite literally in your blood," she reminded me, and I couldn't help but smile at her words, the same ones that had made me smile earlier. "You got this kid," she repeated. "You can handle it. I'll be waiting for you when you've kicked scrawny demon ass," she said, a smirk on her face. I nodded, giving her a soft smile, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything.