The Alpha's Eden

Not me

I tried hard to sleep but no amount of tossing and turning would stop my brain from replaying the moments at the old wooden shed with my mum and my brother. I squeezed my eyes shut and played the same thing over and over in my head.

One person  - so close to me and always so supportive and caring that I could practically feel his protection like a safety blanket around me. Then there was my own mum, so cold and full of bitterness and total lack of emotions.

We all had the same life together, she was our mum for fucks sake and yet it was crystal clear that she had never truly felt a maternal bond with me.

I was nothing more than a hinder to her, an albatross around her neck.

She deserved what age got in the end. She deserved to die for the awful things she'd done to me and my brother. Her own flesh and blood. But there was something bothering me about her death. It was a constant buffering thought in the back of my mind that hadn't left me all day.

The thought was so strong that I knew it was the truth; My mums death was too swift, the saw the light in her eyes fade almost as soon as my fingers grasped her still beating heart and Sawyers teeth ripped at her throat, she died quickly. Too quickly and not nearly as painfully as she should have.

That was my one regret and I wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Can't sleep?" Blake whispered through the low lit room. The sun was setting and filling the room with pink and orange hues as the sky began to turn into a beautiful dark blue.

"No I can't" I smiled softly at him gazing across the room at him where he sat in a soft lounge chair by the window. He looked absolutely gorgeous as the suns last rays shone on his striking features but he looked pensive and distant like he had been sitting there lost in his own thoughts for a long time. He was just so skilled at being stealthy I hadn't even noticed.

"Got a lot on your mind I guess huh?" He raised an eyebrow and chuckled but it didn't sound like an amused tone. He sounded pissed off.

"That would be the understatement of the year" I sat up in bed and brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin in my knees in a protective manner feeling the need to keep some distance from Blake if he was mad at me about something.

A movement in the dark corner of the room caught my eyes and I realised it was Jace leaning against the wall with a stony look on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. As our eyes net he took a long deep breathe in and shook his head in shock... disappointment maybe. That stung.

"We saw you kill Sadie. Why'd you toy with her like that before you killed her? Why kill her at all?" Blake narrowed his eyes in on me watching even my smallest reaction for tells of a lie.

It was clear we weren't going to ease into this subject now that the baby news had sank in.

They were not going to hold back on their questioning and it was very clear that they expected answers from me.

"She was working for my parents. Our dads I guess. Sadie told me that my mum had always wanted Iris dead because of the bond I have with her, mum was jealous. Dad forbidden Iris from coming to our ceremony. Sadie was ordered to burn Woodies down with her inside" I paused and took a breathe not wanting to mention the next bit because I knew it would trigger Jace's anger but also my own jealousy.

"Then Nat went to talk to her in the dungeon thinking they were really best friends. Turns out Sadie had been using her all this time in the hope to get back in your pants Jace. She wanted to be Luna. In fact she also mentioned wanting to have you too Blake. Apparently she thought she was much more your types than me. That kinda bugged me so I thought it would be fun to play with her before I killed her. She wanted to take you both away from me... She hurt Nat Jace!! She hurt your sister" Surely they could see that Sadie was better of dead.

In fact they should face dealt with her so I didn't have  to and then we wouldn't be having this conversation.

"You didn't just kill her though Ede, you ripped out her heart" Jace implored sounding as if I was wrong for doing that. In fact he sounded pretty horrified but I was certain he had done the same or worse more times than I could imagine so he wasn't one to judge me.

"I wasn't sure she even had a heart so we thought we'd check. She was a very bad person and now she's dead. It's no big deal!" Shrugging I laughed because was I the only one around here that could see how black and white killing Sadie was. She was evil... now she's dead. One less evil person on this planet. That's a good thing and I wasn't sorry.

"Eden you ripped her fucking heart out with a smile on your face" Blake spoke firmly and it was obvious he was trying to make me see things from their perspective but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I'd done what was necessary and I wouldn't be afraid to do it again to anyone that stepped in my way. They'd wanted me to toughen up and be able to handle myself so here I was stronger than ever.

"Yes of course I was smiling Sadie was a first class bitch and I killed her with my bare hands. Is that really what's bothering you Blake, the way I killed her or maybe you are mad because you two were having a thing behind my back and now you lost your fuck buddy" the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them and a wave of jealousy went through my body and tightened around my heart  then squeezing like it was a tangible feeling that was making it hard to breathe.

As soon as it rushed through me it dissipated and two strong bodies rushed onto the bed and wrapped around me easing me into a state of relaxation and the warmth of pure love enveloped me.

Tears fell from my eyes and a wrangled sob escaped my lips and my body shook in horror at the way I was behaving towards my two mates. Two mates that have never done anything but love me.

Blake held my hand and placed huge toy kisses along each of my knuckles before resting our tightly entwined fingers on his knee. Jace wrapped his strong arms around me and nestled his face in my hair and inhaled my scent soothing his own worry and his scent drifted into my nostrils and that sweet cinnamon smell made my heart swell in contentment. As he continued to hold me his cinnamon scent took on an extra note or two. A powerful metallic, copper that made my mouth water and my my ears pricked up at a subtle steady rhythm that seemed to call out to me like a lullaby.

I ran my tongue over the point in Jaces neck where the sound seemed to come from and he moaned softly laying butterfly kisses on my own neck. I tilted my head slightly and licked over it one last time feeling the pulsing against my tongue and causing my tastebuds to tingle in anticipation. I widened my mouth and closed my eyes ready to savour the sweet treat that awaits bed me when suddenly I was yanked roughly from the bed and Blake took ahold of both of my arms and restrained me against his chest in a grip far tighter than he'd ever heard me before.

"Blake what the fuck are you doing??" Flailing my legs as I tried to struggle to break free I soon realised that my strength was no thing compared to his so I stopped trying to fight him unsure of what he had done it for in the first place. That was until I gazed upwards and saw Jace wide eyed and panting with a look of absolute horror and fear in his eyes aimed directedly  at me.

"Eden" Jace  breathed out in a shocked tone.

"What is going on why are you looking at me like that Jace??" The way he looked at me was as near to a gut punch as a look could be. He looked absolutely devastated.

"Look Eden" Blake twister our bodies until we were face to face with a mirror.

After taking a few deep breaths, sweat was rolling down my forehead and my heart was pounding so hard in my chest- I slowly lifted my eyes from the carpet to the mirror and my heart stopped working and jumped into my throat in shock at the sight before me.

"Oh my goddess no" tears were rolling didn't my eyes as I took in the person looking back at me.

But that person....

That wasn't me......

No it wasn't me.... no way...

I couldn't be me.

Could it??