Hermitcraft Oneshots

Just like you

xBEtho because there's not enough of either of them and I fucking love them

Just some light fluff

Warning for drugs (just warped fungi)

Song is lovers on the sun by David not gonna try and write his name from memory-
———

"I know they're a bit freaky, but I think they're kinda cute!" Etho gave his patented giggle, patting the head of a strider that had well.. strided up to him.

Just like you, xB spared a second to think, smiling to himself at the realization.

Etho was helping xB get acclimated to the new nether, at least, that's what they told themselves. In reality, they just wanted to spend time together.

"And these guys eat.. the blue mushrooms?" xB asked, scratching his head in an over-dramatization of his confusion.

"Warped fungus, Yep," Etho confirmed, fishing some of the orange and blue buds from his pocket. "Try feeding one, as far as I know they're vegetarians."

"..as far as you know?" xB clarified, hesitantly taking a mushroom.

"Good luck, buddy." Etho giggled again, an excited look in his eyes.

"Oh! Grandpa, how did you loose your hand? Well you see.. there was prick named Etho.." xB's tone quickly became one of mocking, taking a cautious step forwards.

"Was?" Etho questioned, putting on a slight act of sadness.

"Well.. if I lose my hand.. you're loosing your head.." xB said, dead serious as he extended his hand to the strider.

"And risk orphaning our child?" Etho said, lower lip pouting- even if it was hidden by his mask.

"Child? Our? Orphan- Wha-" xB gave Etho a suddenly frightened look. Fucking hell. Etho could lie his ass off. The strider, not understanding what was going on, took a light sniff at xB's hand.

"Yeah! If I die, I'm taking you with me." Etho grinned, not caring to address the other two glaringly obvious issues with his previous statement.

"That's not what I'm-" xB let out a quiet yelp as his hand was suddenly engulfed by the strider he had been attempting to feed. It had indeed accepted the mushrooms, using the full length of it's lips to bring xB's hand almost completely into it's mouth.

xB startled pulling his hand back reflexively. That didn't seem to bother the strider, however, who was busy munching on mushroom.

To the side of him, xB saw Etho doubled over with laughter, his chuckles near silent as he clutched his stomach.

"You- the look on your.. pft-" Etho let out a small sigh, eyes screwed shut as he almost fought tears of joy.

xB was not amused.

He drew his sword, trapping Etho between a netherack hill and netherite blade. "You little.."

"Wait- wait.. I'll-" Etho let out a small wheeze of amusement as he tried to talk, "I've got- I'll make it up to you."

"Really?" xB deadpanned, his cerulean eyes flickering with amusement.

"Yeah.. just- check my right pocket-" Etho stuttered out, eyes avoiding xB's.

xB let out a sigh, pulling out two vials of.. questionable liquid.

The vials in question were of reasonable size, filled with some sort of pale cyan substance.

"Come to my place?" Etho asked, knowing it would probably for the best to drink the potion in a place where a fiery grave was not seconds away.
———

"Wait- tell me again how you made this?" xB asked, staring at the opaque blue sludge in the bottle before him.

"I cooked warped fungi until they were soft, then ran them threw a brewing stand with an awkward potion," Etho sounded quite proud of himself as he spoke, his expression unreadable as he popped open the cap to his own bottle of sludge.

"And so if I drink this I'll get high?" xB questioned. Usually, warped fungi were toxic, but if cooked properly, they were considered a delicacy. And, if prepared just right, they could apparently get you high.

While this was news to xB, he supposed it wasn't too far out there- Witches had been messing with mushrooms for a while, and had been able to attain some.. odd.. effects. It stands to reason that warped fungi would be easier to manipulate. It's right in the name, they were warped.

The cosplayer nodded, pulling his mask down (Kakashi can do it ((and by extension Etho)), so can you! Wear a mask and stay 6 feet/ 2 meters apart to prevent the spread of covid-19!) "Here! I'll drink mine first." And with that, Etho tilted his head back and poured the liquid down the hatch, about half the pale blue sludge disappearing in an impressive time.

It would have been the full bottle, but around the half way point, Etho nearly spit out what he had in his mouth, fighting to swallow the substance.

"Oh- that.. was not.. ple- ugh-" Etho coughed a few times, putting his head in his free hand. "Just- wow.."

xB stared in disbelief at what he had just witnessed, feeling his stomach churn at the thought of swallowing the liquid that had made Etho gag.

It didn't look all that appealing, and while it was odorless, Etho's reaction didn't bode well.

xB glanced up at Etho, seeing the redstoner look at him expectantly. "You promise this won't kill me?" xB asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Cross my heart," Etho nodded, slowly feeling the effects of the potion kick in.

The bearded man sighed, yanking out the cork to the bottle. "Bottoms up, then.." He murmured, pressing the rim of the glass to his lips. He took in a long breath, before chugging the liquid as best he could.
———

"What do you think.. happens when you die?" xB murmured, starring up at the ceiling. Etho's arm was wrapped around hip, maskless face breathing down his neck. "Like, do you go to heaven?"

Etho let out a slow chuckle, feeling the goosebumps rise on xB's skin at the sensation. "Impossible.." he hummed, pulling xB closer. "How could anything be better than this?"

"Mm.." xB giggled, nestling into Etho's arms. "Love you.."

"Love you too.."
———

Yeah idrk lmaoo

Uh angst next probably if I ever get my shit together

I've got a few things planned (Joe angst, tango angst, finish off some old rendoc angst) so stay tuned

-yours, oh my god impulse's giggle is so cute holy shit I'm fucking dying of wholesome.