Ch 44: Dilemma

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"So the problem is solved?" Ansel looks up from his book at Lin Yie and raises his eyebrows, 

"Is Nightingale ready for her treatment in Lungmen?"

Lin Yie just took a bath after a long day. He is wiping his hair dry while answering Ansel, "Yes, Nightingale already knows she is going there for treatment, not the mission."

"Did she resist?" Ansel asks, "Nightingale should be resisting anything related to 'treatment,' right? That's why we didn't tell her at the beginning."

"I think you should just tell her directly next time." Lin Yie hangs his towel, "After all, she's an adult, although... nevermind."

(Does an adult hide at a dumpster?) he chuckles alone. 

Ansel gives him an ambiguous smile, "You are clearly the last one to know her, but you understand her better than everyone else here."

"Maybe." Lin Yie smiles and jokes, 

"I have a lot of job experiences."

When he hears the word "job," Ansel's smile slowly disappears.

Job experience - vet's job experience - injection, feeding medication, sterilization - sterilization - this guy came here, but he is still thinking about sterilization!

Ansel's gaze is getting colder.

But Lin Yie is not aware of that. He just mumbles the temperature is too low for his liking.

After a while, Ansel says, "You are probably the only one who can understand Nightingale's thought process. Even Shining can't do it."

"Hmm?"

"Last night, we looked everywhere for her, and we even checked the monitors." Ansel says, "We basically searched all major buildings, but we still couldn't find her. On the other hand, you only took a few minutes to find her. I wouldn't call that an accident."

(But it really was an accident. After all, you wouldn't have installed a monitor for trash. And her thought process... there is no thought process. That kid just got lost.)

Of course, Lin Yie doesn't say his thoughts out loud. If Ansel's guess makes him look impressive, there is no need to correct Ansel. He needs some recognition in his life. 

What? It's fake, you say? Who cares!!

"So you are going as well." Ansel begins reading again.

"Yeah." Lin Yie sighs, "Actually, I feel that there is something off."

"Um?"

"Look, I am just a psychologist, but I haven't done much that a psychologist should be doing." Lin Yie rants, "First, I take care of Nightingale like a nanny. Then, I am asked to convince a saintess to go home. Now, I am both a diplomat and a nanny... and I am still an intern."

Ansel looks at him, "Then what do you think a psychologist should do?"

"Uh... Like comforting people who have suicidal thoughts or have experienced problems in their personal relationships, helping people release stress, dealing with insomnia, or providing a place for people to vent."

"You are overthinking. There's no one who needs these things." Ansel says, "At least not in Rhodes Island."

"You sure?"

"Of course, that's because those are problems regular people would have, but in Rhodes Island, everyone here has a sufficiently strong will. Otherwise, they wouldn't have come here." Ansel looks down again, "So your expectations are quite unrealistic."

Lin Yie thinks for a moment and agrees with Ansel.

"Alright. I guess I am not professional enough." Lin Yie scratches his head, "But you know, I used to work at a pet hospital, and my job involved..."

"Shut up." Ansel closes his book and clenches his teeth, "Please, stop talking about your previous job! You are Rhodes Island's psychologist now, not a vet!"

Lin Yie is surprised by Ansel's outburst. He hasn't seen Ansel this angry before, so he wisely tries to change the topic, 

"Alright, let's sleep. I still have to go to Lungmen tomorrow. By the way, what is Lungmen like? I heard about it back in Chernobog, but I never had a chance to go there."

Ansel originally planned to ignore Lin Yie, but then, he thinks he should give his junior some advice, so he answers, "Lungmen is a very complicated place, so I can't explain it well with a few words. They treat the Infected somewhat better than the other places, but only slightly better. Just like how their management still partners with us, even though they don't really want to see us."

"I think I understand."

"You will know when you are there. Although you probably won't see their management with your current status, I still have to remind you that Lungmen's people are not as sociable, so you shouldn't start a conflict with them."

"How do I start a conflict with them as a psychologist?"

Ansel agrees. He begins to think he is worrying too much.

"Then, there's nothing else to worry about, since Dr Kal'tsit is there. You can just treat this as a reimbursed trip." Ansel says, "Just hand Nightingale over to Dr Kal'tsit and help her treat Nightingale by stabilizing Nightingale's emotion."

"Um. But I thought Nightingale knows Dr Kal'tsit?"

"That's hard to say." Ansel frowns, "Dr Kal'tsit has contacted Nightingale many times already.... In other words, Dr Kal'tsit has always taken care of Nightingale's treatment, and Dr. Kal'tsit's number of interactions with Nightingale should only be topped by Shining. If Nightingale remembers Shining, she should still remember Dr Kal'tsit."

"Is that so? Alright."

"Anything else?"

Lin Yie shakes his head. Actually, he didn't have a question. He just wanted to pass time and wait for his hair to dry.

Now that his hair is dry, he can just sleep.

Ansel suddenly asks, "What do you think about Nightingale's condition?"

"What?"

"I am asking what you think about Nightingale." Ansel says, "Her personality."

Although he doesn't have a clear answer, Lin Yie still speaks his mind, "To be honest, I think she is fine, even though she is a bit stubborn. And she fears people. Other things are fine, but she is like a girl who hasn't grown up yet. Sometimes, I think she is cute."

"Really?"

"Why are you asking now?"

Ansel pauses, "She's sick."

"I know."

"And she is getting better."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

Ansel looks at Lin Yie and says quietly, "If this continues, she will recover her past memory."

"Isn't that the point of her treatment?" Lin Yie doesn't understand.

Ansel shakes his head, "I know, I just realized."

"What?"

"If Nightingale recovers her memory, will she be the same Nightingale we know now?"

Lin Yie pauses.

"If Nightingale is like a blank piece of paper right now, when she recovers her memory, that paper is no longer blank, right?" Ansel asks, "Do you know the original Nightingale?"

Lin Yie shakes his head, "Of course not."

"Neither do I, but she was definitely a different person... I have said too much." Ansel checks the time, "Time to sleep."

Darkness soon swallows the room with the light off.

Lin Yie is still staring into space.

He takes out the crumbled chocolate wrapping.

And holds it in his hand.

But unable to sleep.

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