help.

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⚠️TRIGGER WARNING:EATING DISORDERS⚠️

you sit there zoned out while they talk to you about the importance of eating.

nurse | we are putting all of that in your stomach through your feeding tube. that's in your nose.

y/n | what? wait i didn't consent to that you can't-

you grab the tube and start pulling it out of your nose. the doctors start yelling and trying to stop you. you get it out and it lays on you lap and they start scolding you and telling you what you were doing.

y/n | how much did you feed me?

nurse | it was a healthy amount.

y/n | i need to use the restroom.

nurse | you can't use the bathroom until an hour after you finish eating.

y/n | what? you can't stop me from using the bathroom.

nurse | we're helping you.

y/n | i don't want your help. nothings wrong with me. i didn't even ask to be here.

nurse | you aren't eating.

y/n | i am too eating.

nurse | your friend told us.

they point to nick.

y/n | he's lying! he is such a liar i'm fine! IM FINE! LET ME GO!

nurse | we can give you a minute to calm down.

y/n | no i don't want a minute to calm down i want to go home.

you rip out your IV. the doctors hold your hands down and you start kicking your feet. you are screaming and yelling. they hand cuff you to your bed so you can't leave or take out your IV. the nurses take nial out to the hallway and you sit there screaming and crying. in a few minutes nial comes back and walks over to chase, charli, alex, kover, and nick. they all walk out and he walks over to you and brushes your hair back while the doctors put your IV back in. they clean off your tube and are going to put it back in. you keep moving your head and yelling at them.

Ni | give us a few minutes.

doctors | sure thing.

they walk out and Nial stands next to you and holds your hand. you look up at him with tears rolling down your face.

y/n | you have to get me out of here Nial! they can't hold me here. please help me!

Ni | i can't.

he says softly.

y/n | you can't?! you said to come to you when i needed help! i need help right now Nial?! help me. i can't be here!

Ni | you're okay.

y/n | exactly i'm fine please help me. help me get out of here.

the doctors come back in.

y/n | tell them they can't keep me here!

you look over at nial and he nods at the doctors. you look back at the doctors and they inject something into your arm.

y/n | what was that. Nial what was that!

you start to feel dizzy. next thing you know you are in a different room in the hospital. everyone is back. they are sitting around the outside of the room. you groan. Nial walks over and pushes your hair behind your ear.

Ni | how are you feeling sweetheart?

y/n | i'm good.

you look down and see your hands cuffed to the bed again. there is bruising around your wrists and an IV in your arm. you start breathing a little harder. you look nial in the eyes.

y/n | do i have a feeding tube?

nial looks at you. he pauses.

Ni | yes.

you start crying.

y/n | get it out.

Ni | no.

nial's eyes are filling with tears.

y/n | take it out. please.

Ni | i can't.

y/n | do it, nial.

Ni | no.

he says painfully again. you start yanking your head away from the machine. nial grabs your shoulder.

Ni | stop.

the doctors come in and you start yelling again. they call nial out again and you start crying. chase comes over and grabs your hand.

C | hey, hey, hey. how are you?

y/n | i'm fine. nothings wrong with me chase?

C | i know.

there's some silence.

C | what are you most excited to do out here in LA?

y/n | i'm excited to finally see jay jay.

C | jay jay! jaden is very excited to see you too. he never stop talking about you. he was talking to me just this morning about how excited he was to hang out with you later.

y/n | where is he?

C | he's in the studio right now.

y/n | is he going to come see me.

C | i'm sure he will.

the doctors come back. nial with them. he kneels by your bed.

Ni | hey sweetie. you look beautiful.

y/n | thank you nial.

Ni | hey, these doctors are going to take you somewhere special.

y/n | where are they taking me.

Ni | they are going to get you help.

y/n | i don't need help Nial. you know that right?

everyone gathers around your bed to talk to you before they take you. chase comes first.

C | i'll come visit you. i promise.

you are speechless. tears roll down your cheeks.

i hope you enjoyed this chapter. another is coming tomorrow!

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