i wish i never...

662 19 2
                                    


⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDERS⚠️

you are taken to a fairly nice restaurant and have dinner. sabrina and payton get along really well. when you make it back you get time alone to talk with payton. you sit in silence for a bit.

P | are you going to be out of here for playlist?

y/n | i hope so.

P | are you getting better.

y/n | yeah. with the help of everyone here it all comes so easy. it took a long time to "trust the process"

P | hmm.

you don't really say much else.

P | can you be honest with me for a second?

y/n | yeah. of course.

P | why are you here?

you pause for a second. you think back. way back.

P | fine. i'll make it simpler. when was the last time you had a full meal.

y/n | when i had sushi with you and nick.

P | without puking?

y/n | no.

P | when was it then.

you don't want to tell him that you last full meal was in Boston. on tour. you never had any eating problems up until then. payton's looking at you as you anxiously mess with your hands. you can't make eye contact.

y/n | boston

you say quietly.

P | what?

you are silent.

P | when?

y/n | boston

you say a little louder.

P | like...on tour?

you don't respond.

P | did i- is this my fault-

y/n | no payton it's not. it's my fault.

P | you haven't eaten since the night i told trent?

y/n | no.

P | listen y/n i'm sorry. i don't know what i was thinking. i clearly wasn't thinking straight. i was so upset that you and i were over. seeing you with nick tore me to pieces. boston got really awkward and i didn't want it to be so i decided getting you kicked was the only way i could make that happen.

y/n | you didn't think "oh we have a fan base... maybe, just maybe, this is going to get around" stuff like that doesn't stay private people ask questions. we are famous. nothing is a secret our lives are put out on display for everyone to judge. i bet people are asking where i am huh? what have you told them? i'm sick?

P | i ignore it.

y/n | i'm going to head to bed so you'd better go.

P | i flew 3 hours out here for you to tell me to go home in 2.

y/n | i'm tired, sorry.

he grabs your arm and twists you around no placing his lips on yours. you put your hands around his neck. he puts his hands on your hips and you push him away.

y/n | i- i have to go sorry.

you walk out. Daniel is standing at the door. he was going to come in.

P | y/n wait!

daniel stops him. you run up to your room.

P | y/n!

DH | you have to go now sir.

P | i just need 5 more minutes.

DH | i have to ask you to leave.

P | what is she even doing here?

DH | that's personal to her.

P | you guys are going to sit here and force her to eat. what's that going to do for her? nothing? you're torturing her. the only reason i heard she was here is because nobody wanted to talk to her when she was in the hospital. nobody wanted to hear what she had to say. nobody here actually cares what's wrong with her.

y/n | is that why you just found out.

P | what?

payton said confused.

P | i didn't know you were there.

y/n | it took me nearly dying for you to find out i had a problem?

P | no i-

y/n | you didn't. why am i here? you, i'm here because of you. you were so fucked up in the head that you wanted to spread all of these rumors about me because you were but hurt i wasn't stuck up over you. you were hurt hurt i found a guy that actually cared about me and my feelings.

P | I ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT YOU!! i care. i gave up everything for you.

y/n | bullshit.

P | ok. if nick cares so much about you why didn't you invite him.

a tear rolls down your face.

y/n | go

P | no, y/n, i'm here because i care i want you to know i care. at the end of the day none of that matters. i forgive and forget.

y/n | forgive and forget? i've never EVER seen that from you. i kissed chase and you told me to go home because no one wanted me on tour anymore. i started dating nick since we were no longer dating and you kissed avani AND LIED ABOUT IT. to my face. you know what you did?

you had a crowd now, but you didn't even care. Daniel didn't know is he should step in. payton is silent.

y/n | tell them. tell them all what you did.

P | no.

y/n | then i will. he spread fake rumors about me and i haven't eat a full meal since that day. he got me kicked off tour and didn't apologize for weeks. until after tour was over. he didn't tell the public it was lies until weeks after that. you don't even know what that did to me payton.

P | i'm sorry. it truly is my biggest regret. if i could go back and change one thing in my life it would be us. in the best way possible, i wish i never brought you on tour. that's what ruined us. chase then fans then vidcon. that was our problem.

y/n | it just wasn't right okay. go payton.

P | i'm sorry.

you walk upstairs.

sorry for not updating.

Come With MeWhere stories live. Discover now