Arts of Heart (Compilation of OSS)

ART 83

HE LOVES HURTING ME

"Love, water oh," I said while offering the bottle of water to him. Katatapos lang nilang magpractice ng basketball.

He took it from my hand without even looking at me. Parang hindi man lang niya ako nakita.

"Naku, basang-basa ka ng pawis." Nagsimula akong punasan ang kaniyang pawis sa noo ngunit tinabig lamang niya ang kamay ko.

"Ihahatid na kita sa inyo after ko magshower. Just wait me here," he coldly said but in some reason it made me happy.

Hinintay ko siya hanggang matapos. The smile on my lips vanished when I saw him talking a girl. They look good and happy while laughing. Jealousy started to register on me as well as the pain. How come na napapangiti siya ng iba pero akong sariling girlfriend niya hindi ko magawa?

"Let's go," he uttered and just ignored me. I took a deep breath. Calm, Queenie. I followed him until we reached his car.

Aaminin ko nasasaktan ako sa paraan ng pagtrato niya sa akin pero inisip ko na lang na pagod lang siya kaya kinalimutan ko na lamang ang nangyari. He's not like this. He's sweet and caring when it comes to me. Maybe, he just have a problem.

"Come on, Queen. Kumain kana. Stop staring at me." Napatawa ako sa reaksyon niya. Naiilang talaga siya kapag tinititigan ko.

"I just want to memorize every part of your face." I mumbled before continued eating.

"Am I handsome, Love?" I stopped eating because of what he said. My heart starts to beat faster. Damn this man.

"Ofcourse, my boyfriend is the most handsome person I've ever met," masiglang sagot ko. I saw his ears turn to red kaya naiiling akong napatawa. I made him blushed.

"Kumain ka nga. Kaya ka namamayat eh."

"Wha--"

"Hi, Von!" Naputol ang aming pag-uusap nang dumating ang babaeng kausap niya kahapon.

"Hey Faye." They started to talk something I don't know. Parang wala ako sa harap nila. It seems they really close to each other. Kulang na lang maging magboyfriend-girlfriend sila. I felt the pain in my chest. Ang sakit.

"Excuse me." Natigil sila sa pagtawa nang magsalita ako. I saw the guilt in his eyes. I didn't wait them to answer and immediately go to the restroom. I can't take it anymore.

Umiyak ako nang umiyak sa loob. Mabuti na lamang at walang tao. Ang sakit na makita siyang napapasaya ng iba. It hurts knowing that I can't make my man happy. Ang sakit na parang hindi niya makita na nasasaktan niya ako.

"Why are you crying?" Mabilis kong pinahid ang luha sa aking mata nang marinig ang boses niya.

"L-Let's go, Love. Baka hinihintay na tayo ni Faye," saad ko pero nanatili lamang siyang nakatayo sa harap ko.

"Why so numb, Queenie? Until now, wala pa rin pala ako sa 'yo," matigas niyang sabi. Tears fall from my eyes, again.

"I love you, Von. I'm willing to take all the pain and keep it to myself just to make you happy," umiiyak kong wika.

"Tama na, Queenie." Para akong sinaksak ng paulit-ulit dahil sa sinabi niya.

"I can't, Love. Mahal na mahal kita. Handa akong masaktan ng paulit-ulit manatili ka lang sa akin. You love me, right?"

I saw him froze. His facial expression remained. Walang makikitang kahit ano doon kung hindi galit and I hate myself for making him feel like that.

"Yes, I love you. I love hurting you to the point na gusto kong maramdaman mo lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin noon. 'Yong panloloko at pananakit mo. 'Yong pagmamakaawa na bumalik ka sa akin. Masakit ba, Queenie? Masakit bang makita na ang taong mahal mo ay napapasaya ng iba? Masakit ba na bumabalik sa 'yo lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin noon. I gave you chance because I want you to feel all the pain and suffer!"

I admit that I once made a big mistake and that is cheating on him. Pinagpalit ko siya sa taong niloko at sinaktan lang ako. I chose the wrong guy over the man infront of me who only did is to love me that's why I asked for a second chance. Pinagsisisihan ko ang pagkakamaling 'yon.

"I'm sorry." That was the only words came out from me.

Pagak siyang tumawa. "Your sorry won't back it all. Do you know what makes me happy? Ask me, Queenie," he said that makes me confused.

"W-what?" I asked but his answer shattered me into pieces.

"It is when I see you hurt and in pain. That makes me happy."

Now I know. They're right. You will just only know the feeling unless you experienced it. And it hurts imagining that he felt and suffered before because of me like what I am feeling right now. He's really my karma.