Arts of Heart (Compilation of OSS)

ART 116

THE UNEXPECTED BREAK-UP

Sabi nila kapag ang magandang babae ay nagkagusto sa hindi kagwapuhang lalaki, pwede pa. Pero kapag ang gwapong lalaki ay nagmahal ng hindi kagandahang babae ay napakaimposible na, because those kind of men are rare. The one who will accept you despite of your appearance especially nowadays, where society's standard really sucks.

That's what in my mind before getting into a relationship.

I had an ex and he's really an asshole. Pinagpalit niya ako sa mas maganda, sikat at mapera. Lalo lamang akong nanliit dahil doon. I questioned my existence. Insecurities took over my system. He slaps how lowkey I am.

Then Russell came into my life. Mas marami siyang experience about sa relationship kaysa sa akin. And I could say he knows how to handle relationship well.

"Tanga mo, burahin mo 'yan ang dugyot ko kaya," sambit ko nang makita ko ang mga jeje pictures ko na nakasave sa phone niya at believe me or not, may sarili akong album sa gallery niya.

"Siraulo ng ex mo, darling. Almost perfect ka na nga ipinagpalit ka pa, siguro iniwan ka noon kasi may tililing ka," seryoso niyang sabi habang nakatingin sa picture ko bago humagalpak ng tawa.

"Pasmado rin bunganga mo, cyst. Huwag mo na nga pagtripan mga pictures ko. Kala mo hindi ka dumaan sa pagiging jeje ah, eh ikaw nga parang dinilian dati ng baka ang buhok mo." Pareho kaming napatawa sa sinabi ko.

Para rin kaming magtropa kung mag-usap. Si Rus ang nagpamukha ng mga magagandang bagay na mayroon ako. He's a person who finds my flaws attractive.

"Ang ganda kaya ng ngiti mo. Do you know that my favorite curve in your body is your lips whenever you smile?" nakangiti niyang wika bago ako kinindatan. I find him corny pero napangiti niya ako.

He's a person who can make me smile with his simple gestures and lines.

Kapag galit, inis or tampo siya sa akin, isang 'i love you' ko lang rurupok na siya but when I'm the one who's mad, he'll sing for me while strumming his guitar. He knows how to get me.

When I have problem and can't sleep at night, he'll sing for me until I fall asleep.

May okasyon o wala, he makes an effort lalo kapag natripan niya. Bawat date na may mahahalagang memories kami, tandang-tanda niya.

He was a jealous type of boyfriend. May makausap lang ako or makaclose na lalaki, nagseselos na siya but it doesn't lessen my love for him dahil hindi naman niya ako sinasakal doon. He knows how to limit himself. And I really admire for that dahil kung usapang selos, ay mas selosa ako.

Kapag may away kami, siya 'yong nagbababa ng pride. My heart melts whenever I feel like he's afraid of losing me. Na baka hiwalayan ko siya.

Minsan napapasabi na lang ako, ang swerte ng mga mahal ng taong mahal ko. Ang swerte ko. I am blessed for having him. He's my future and I can't picture myself without him beside me.

5 months before our supposed to be wedding day and after 5 years of being in a relationship, fate tricked on us.

Here I am standing infront of their house, waiting for him. My tears welled up upon seeing my man wearing a tuxedo. It perfectly suits on him.

"Kai..." He ran towards me then hugged me tight. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sunod-sunod na pagtulo ng luha ko.

"C-congrats, darling." My voice cracked.

Totoo pala 'yon, kahit gaano pa kaperfect ang relasyon na mayroon kayo kung hindi kayo, hindi kayo.

"I'm sorry. I love you."

Halos kapusin ako ng hininga sa sinabi niya. I hugged him tight like it was the last time I will be able to it.

"Ang hirap-hirap mo namang bitawan. I can't be mad at you because I love you so much. Just please be happy. Be a good husband and father," nanginginig ang boses na sabi ko.

Five months ago nang malaman namin na nakabuntis siya ng ibang babae. It was a one night stand due to the effect of alcohol but knowing him, he's a responsible man so he took the responsibility. And it's a damn torture.

"Will you come? Please, come. I want to s-see you for the l-last time," mahinang bulong niya.

Parang nanikip ang dibdib ko. I step backward  and look at him.

"I'm sorry, Rus. This is enough, 'yong makita ka  rito. I can't come. I can't see my man in other woman's arm. I can't see the wedding I once dreamt happens with the person I want to spend my life with and to someone who isn't me. It will surely kill me."

For the last time, I tiptoed and kissed him on his cheek before turning back at him with the tears on my eyes.

Dumating na 'yong kinakatakutan ko--na mapunta ang lalaking mahal na mahal ko sa iba. Na 'yong dating ginagawa niya, gagawin na rin niya sa iba.

Minsan na nga lang makatagpo ng tamang lalaki, hindi pa nakatadhana sa akin.

Ito 'yong break up na hindi ko inexpect sa lahat. 'Yong kahit mahal na mahal pa namin ang isa't pero dapat nang bumitaw kasi kailangan na.