habits ❀ mattia polibio

settantasei

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄

— mattia

"you won't be able to play for at least a year," the doctor told me. "after therapy, you'll be able to walk perfectly fine, but soccer requires a lot of running and kicking and we can't afford to have that ligament tear again."

are you fucking kidding me?

i sighed as i rubbed my forehead, and madison grabbed my hand in attempt to comfort me. "mattia, what comes first soccer or your health?" my mom asked and i gave her an annoyed sigh.

"my health obviously, but i was relying on soccer for school," i said.

my mom has always been supportive of my soccer dreams and while i know that my health is much more important, soccer was technically my future. i relied on it to give me the future that i want. well, that now that being wanted.

"it's tough, but unless you want another surgery, it's the only choice you have," the doctor said. his pager clipped onto his scrubs beeps and he takes a look at it, "if you'll excuse me." he walks out the door leaving us all here in silence.

"soccer will always be there, matti," my mom says. i nod, not really wanting to say a word.

madison lightly squeezes my hand and gives me a sympathetic look. at least she's here and okay.

"can mattia and i have a word alone?" my mom tells them and they all nod before walking out of the door. "i know what you're thinking."

"mom, soccer was the plan," i told her. "i didn't ask for this shit, it's not fucking fair."

"mattia, don't curse at me i am your mother!" she scolds and i mentally roll my eyes. "listen to me," she says. "the doctor never said you'll never be able to play again in your life. he simply said that for at least a year you can't play soccer," she explains the doctors words. "you can't wait?"

"scouts come towards the end of senior year and they start to look at the players," i tell her. "i was supposed to play at the senior game but now i won't be able to."

"well, there's really only one person to blame for this then," she crosses her arms and i furrow my eyebrows.

"who?" i ask, attitude laced with my words.

"you know who i'm referring to," she looks at me and disbelief takes over my face.

"madison?" i ask in shock. "how- why would madison be the one at fault?"

"she told me the story, matti," she tells me. "she dragged those kids over here and caused this to happen to you. if she's going to be a magnet for problems, then maybe it's best you guys don't get back together."

i scoff, "you're not serious right now." i look at her. "mom, you love her."

"but i love you more and you cannot deny that you've been involved with drama ever since you met her," she says. "from fighting boys to doing drugs."

my mouth runs dry as she mentions the drugs part. when the fuck did she find out about that?

"don't think i don't hear your conversations with the boys sometimes," she says. "madison has caused you pain and i won't let my son be in any more pain."

"mom, you don't know the full story," i told her and she scoffs.

"what full story, mattia? i know what happened," she says as she crosses her arms. "one of those boys was jealous that you guys liked each other."

"mom i fucking cheated on madison," i confessed and she looks up. "sorry," i apologize for cursing.

"huh?" she asked me.

"i cheated on her," i repeated.

"w-what do you mean?" she asks. "if you're trying to defend her then-"

"i cheated on her last year with jenna," i told her. "we got into an argument and i did stuff with jenna and madison walked in on it," i explained to her. "that's why we broke up," i said.

"i don't believe you," she looks at me but she notices the stern look on my face and she covers her mouth. "why- how could you do that to her?" her voice softens and stabs my heart. "i taught you better than that."

"i know," i tell her. "but i've learned and madison forgave me for it when she didn't need to." i said. "the reason why those guys shot me was because they wanted to be with madison, and even after everything i did to her, she still chose me over him and that's what got them mad."

"but she didn't explain that to me," my mom covers her heart. "oh, i feel awful now." she rubs her forehead.

"she doesn't bring drama, she's just dragged into my drama without her wanting to." i look at my mom. "all she does is try to protect me and my image. she got grounded by her dad because she didn't tell him about what happened just so that he wouldn't think any less of me," i explained. "so if there's anyone you should hate right now other than those guys who shot me, it's me."

she sat over next me, "mattia, you're my son." my mom begins. "i could never hate you." she says. "i don't want to stress about that right now, but don't think i'm going to forget about it either."

i nod and she kisses my forehead. she then gets a call and she walks over to her purse to grab her phone, "i'll tell madison to walk in." she told me and she answers the phone.

soon enough, madison walks in alone and she sits beside me. "is everything okay?" she asks as her hands get a hold of mine. "soccer will always be there, you know."

i smile at her, "you sound like my mom," i tell her and she laughs.

"well, she's not wrong," she replies. "i know how you had your whole future planned out, but this was so unexpected."

"i'm still in shock," i tell her and i scoot over so she can lay beside me. "i don't remember any of it happening, but i know it happened."

she runs her hands to my hair as she looks down at me, "i'm so sorry," she apologizes.

"hey, don't be sorry, okay?" i reassure as her eyes soften with my words. "the last thing i want is for you to feel like this is your fault."

"i really do love you." she said. "i'm sorry for making it seem like i didn't."

i laugh, "you act as if i don't know you," i say. "you may have tried to fool me and make me think that you hated me but you never succeeded in doing so." she gasps and i laugh before resting my head on her shoulder, "i told my mom about what happened between us."

she looks down at me, "you did?" she asked me and i nodded. "how come?"

"well," i started. "it's a long story, but she's disappointed in me which is understandable."

she nodded, "let's just put that in the past." she says. "there are bigger things to focus on right now."

i smiles at her, "i love you too," i finally respond to her first i love you.

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author's note
SHORT CHAPTER IK but i'm working on another one yall. missed y'all like CRAZY.