suicidal maniacs

Knives [chapter 20]

y'all got me in the number one spot for crackfic i- thanks a ton: jan. 29 2021. ig i could show u my face... nah i'll show u later...

"Clean."

That was the last order you had been given by Levi, and that was over an hour ago. Each time you thought you finished cleaning a room, McShroty pointed out something you did wrong and would make you clean it again.

"Finished!" you yelled for like the twentieth time.

"I swear if the place is still dirty," Levi muttered while walking into the room you proclaimed as cleaned. He gasped when he saw the room was sparkling. No literally, you used so much cleaning products the whole room looked like a disco ball.

"Pretty clean, right?" you asked your captain with your hands on your hips.

"Took you long enough, dinner is ready by the way. We were all waiting for you to finish," Levi said as he walked out of the room and back to wherever the gremlin came from before.

"Wait, dinner?" you questioned while moving towards the window. You were met with a slightly chilly gust of wind and a bunch of shiny stars with a crescent moon shining the brightest out of everything.

"Hurry up!" Levi yelled at you from down the hall.

"Can you wait for me, I don't know where the dining room is," you said while throwing off your gloves and mask and walking out of the room you had been in the whole day.

"It's insane. How can you be so bad at cleaning?" Levi asked from beside you.

"I never really had to clean, and when I did it was never this dusty. Also, I'm not insane, I'm mentally hilarious," you replied as the two of you reached the room you assumed you would be eating in.

"Wow. Anyways, the others are probably starving since you took so long to finish," Levi scowled before opening the doors to the room.

"They're starving!? I missed lunch, and on top of that I didn't eat breakfast!" you shouted at the short captain.

"And that's my fault how?" he asked.

"Fuck you," you grumbled while sitting in the open seat next to Eren.

"Did you just say that to the captain?" Petra asked in shock.

"Yeah, but he can't do anything since we made an agreement," you grinned as the captain frowned.

"Agreement?" Oluo asked.

"Yes," you replied simply.

"I know it's not as messed up as I'm thinking it is, but what's the agreement?" Eld asked.

"You see, I didn't want to be on the elf's squad, so we decided to make a deal. I didn't have to be respectful if I didn't want to, and he couldn't punish me in any way," you replied with a smile.

"Why wouldn't you want to be in this squad?" Eren asked you.

"It doesn't matter what squad I'm in," you started, "as long as I get to see some cool titans, I'm perfectly fine with being in even the worst squad."

"So how did you end up in this squad?" Gunther asked.

"Oh my gosh, what is this? An interview?" you groaned, "Listen, Shorty demanded me to be in this squad after I, quote on quote, 'stole his kill', but I didn't want to, so we made a deal that I didn't have to be respectful and I could say whatever I wanted without receiving punishment."

"There's something else you're not telling them about," Levi commented with a smirk.

"What am I not-" you started but then remembered you said you would only be here if Ere was, "Tell them and I will kill you."