suicidal maniacs

Life for Now [chapter 2]

You eventually made it inside of wall Rose, but it did take you almost two days. Currently, you were camping out in an alleyway with a few people who escaped. They were pretty nice, provided you with food and a little bit of warmth during the night, but other than that they kind of just did their own thing. Never really talked to you unless they had to, but that was normal. The only problem was you didn't have Marlin, so that meant you were stuck with your thoughts.

What would Marlin want me to do? He always said he didn't like seeing me sad, even though I was rarely ever sad. He liked my smile, so maybe I should try smiling more. He also said that I should act a little bit more playful (?). He didn't really make it clear how I was supposed to act playful.

What else did Marlin want? He wanted to be a scout. Maybe I could do that for him. I will become a scout for him, and complete his dream because he can't. Yeah! That makes sense, well kind of. I don't really know how I'm supposed to operate, Marlin always knew what to do. I guess I miss him, and my mom too.

Hey where's my dad? Did he get left behind. Well it wouldn't really be a shock if he did, he wasn't the most athletic person out there. Must have been good food for whichever titan ate him. Wait, why do I not really care if he's gone or not? I kind of care about Marlin and my mom, but why do I not care about my dad? Was it because he didn't really stay home so I don't really have any sort of relationship with him? Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hey kid, here's your food for the week," a man interrupted your thoughts as he handed you two loafs of bread.

"Thanks," you replied, putting up a fake smile.

"Yeah," he said before walking away from you. He never really seemed to like you, but nonetheless he gave you food.

Why was he nice to me? He didn't seem to like me, but he still provided me with basic needs. Does he want me to owe him something in the future? That's probably the reason.

//Timeskip//

Did they just send a whole bunch of people to their deaths on purpose? Well it doesn't really matter, they know we won't win with them. They just want less people so the food shortage will be solved. It's was kind of a good thing, strategic wise at least. They did leave a whole bunch of people to grieve over deaths, but that's not my problem.

I already had no one left, but I didn't really even care when the people I kind of cared for did die. There was a slight pain, but it hurt just as much as getting playfully slapped. It had been a year, so after this year I could start getting trained. I'm going to become a scout. That is what Marlin wanted.

"Hey kid, we never got your name. What is it?" the guy who always provided for you asked.

"y/n," you replied. It was short and simple, but they were probably going to ask for your last name. The your luck, they didn't.

"Cool name," was all he replied with, and then he went back to doing whatever he was doing before.

They didn't really pay attention to you, there wasn't a need to. You always had something going on in your head to keep yourself entertained. How you didn't go insane after a year of being in your head? That's a mystery to everyone, yourself included.

You looked down at Marlin's old pocket watch. You always kept it somewhere on your body, even when you were sleeping. It didn't work anymore, but you still held onto it. There wasn't too big of a reason, and normally you would have thrown it out, but that was the only thing you had left of Marlin.

//Another Timeskip//

Signing up to be trained was long and boring.

First off, you had to wait in line for at least 6 hours, even if you were early. The only way to not be stuck waiting that long is by camping out in front of the area for a few days.

Second, people tried talking to you. Quick reminder, you haven't really talked to anybody in two years, so naturally your social skills plummeted. On top of that, you never really had good social skills, Marlin usually had to help you. Some were trying to ask where I came from and trying to be my friend, but others said I should go home now because I'm too little to join, or because I was a girl. Excuse me sir, but I checked the age requirements and I am not too young for this and girls are allowed to join if they want, so take your toxic masculinity and shove it up your ass.

Third, many people smelled. Some like daisies, others like dog pee. Like I get it, you may be homeless, but you shouldn't smell that bad. Like I can show a place where they allow you to clean yourself.

And finally, you didn't get much sleep last night, so naturally you were cranky. Having all these people wanting to interact with you made you wanna do a swan dive off of wall Rose and jump in a titans mouth.

"Next!" the person at the front who was giving you the papers you need to fill out yelled. You had finally made it to the front, and it was your turn. You weren't nervous in the slightest, more annoyed at how long everything took.

"Thank you," you said as the girl handed you the paper work.

It was simple questions, like name and age. They asked about weight, height, and which district you came from. There wasn't anything too complicated on there. They said you had an introduction thing where we would learn the pledge and other stuff we needed to know before we had to start training.

It had been a while since you applied, and tomorrow was going to be your first day. You seeing this right now Marlin? I'm making it for both of us. You better be thankful.

You chuckled at your own thoughts before attempting to go to sleep.