Confusing Love (One Direction Fanfic)

Blissful Perfection

Niall backed almost 3 feet away from me. His eyes were dark and wide. He couldn't believe I said that, and I couldn't believe it either. We just stayed perfectly still and stared at each other. Zayn, Harry, Louis, and Liam showed up, but we still were glued there staring at each other. Normally, Niall would've gotten food or something, but he was completely shocked.

"What's going on between you two? You're freaking us out." Louis demanded. I looked up at him and my eyes exploded with tears. Louis came over and hugged me but I pushed him away. I ran to the bathroom and cried. I didn't even bother closing the door. I didn't want to tell Niall "no", I wanted to say "Yes, I love you too!" but I didn't.

Why was I the one crying? Shouldn't Niall be crying? I was the jerk in this situation. I crushed him and didn't even say anything. He's probably out there wondering what the heck I was thinking. Truth is I have a reason.

I've loved him for a while now, although I didn't admit it to myself until now. At that exact moment, I realized that I'm afraid. I'm afraid of losing him and us breaking up. What if it was a huge heart breaking break up? What if we avoided each other and never talked again? That would kill me and I'd never be the same. I've had boyfriends before and it always ends in disaster. I thought I was ready for this; ready to be with Niall, but I'm not.

I heard someone enter the bathroom, but I didn't look up. If it was Niall, I'd start sobbing again. It turns out, it was Liam. "Lily?" He said cautiously. "Yeah?" I turned towards him as he crouched on the ground in front of me. "I don't know for sure what happened, but you should go talk to him. He's not even eating, so you can tell there's something wrong. He's not moving either, Lily." I frowned sadly. "Liam, can I talk to you about something?" He nodded.

"I love Niall, but I'm too scared to be with him. I don't want something bad to happen in the end. I care about him too much and I can't risk losing him. I don't know what to do." Liam drummed his fingers against the wall for a minute before answering.

"You don't know how long he's liked you. He always talks about how much he likes you. You mean the world to him and he doesn't want you to be with anyone else. I mean, if you were, he'd want you to be happy, but he'd never be happy again. You make him so happy. Just go talk it out with him and I know he'll understand."

I started to get up, but Liam stopped me. "I think you should give him a chance. It's obvious that you guys should be together. I swear, if he messes up, I'll kill him. Even if you guys have to break up, you would still care about each other enough to be best friends. You two have this bond that no one can break. It's the same for Danielle and me. I know she's the one for me."

Hearing him say that helped me a lot. "Thank you so much, Liam." I hugged him and he smiled. "You're a sister to me. I'll help you whenever." I smiled back and went into the hallway, uncertain of what may happen. I passed Louis in his room watching TV and he gave me thumbs up. Harry passed by me and he was drunk again. "Niall loves you." He said and then stumbled into Louis' room.

I spied Niall in the kitchen staring at a water bottle. His face was emotionless. "Come here." I whispered. He surprisingly did and followed me to the guest room. "I love you too." I started. Life appeared in his eyes and they seemed a lighter blue again.

"When you asked me to be your girlfriend, I was so excited. I want to be with you so much, but earlier I was worried. If things end badly, I don't want to lose you. I can't bare the thought of it. That's how much you mean to me."

He smiled and came closer. "It's okay. I promise anything and everything that I will be the best I can be for you. I'd do anything for you. I want you to be mine, and I know that sounds selfish. It's just without you, I'm nothing. I don't even want to be anything if I'm not with you." My eyes widened. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." Niall's blue eyes sparkled. "I promise, I mean all of it."