Confusing Love (One Direction Fanfic)

Louis' Advice

“Lily, I love you.” Niall whispered in my ear. “I love you too. I want to be with you.” Niall smiled and opened his mouth to say something, but his face changed…into Harry’s. “Be with me, then.” His raspy voice was hypnotic. “No, I want Niall.”

I cried and Harry came closer and tried kissing me but I dodged his grasp. “Leave me alone! I need Niall!” Harry smirked and continued to try kissing me. “Stop! Please, I’m begging you Harry.” Harry rolled his eyes and Niall appeared beside him. I ran to him, but he moved away from me. “Niall?” He frowned at me and shook his head. “I don’t want you.” When he said those words, it knocked the breath out of me. I can’t take this again.

Both Harry and Niall disappeared and I was left completely alone…until Ashley came. “I thought I could trust you.” She said with tears running down her face. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why all of this is so confusing. I want Niall.” She ignored me and spoke. “Niall doesn’t want to be around you, and neither do I.”

I opened my eyes and flinched when I saw Niall humming quietly beside me. He shot up quickly and darted to the door, but I was faster and stopped him. “No, please stay.” I bet I looked desperate and grief-stricken. “I have to go.” He mumbled so quiet that I almost didn’t hear him.

“No you don’t. Please, just talk to me.” He tried to carefully move me out of his way but I stood directly in front of him with my arms out in front of me, preventing him from leaving. “Don’t leave me.” I whispered over and over again.  Niall sighed and gave up. He went over to my bed and sat on the end of it, avoiding my anguished eyes. “Can I ask something?”

I nervously paced around my room and he softly said “sure”. “Why did you come in here? I mean, of course I don’t mind. I just want to know.” I continued pacing and as I turned back to Niall’s direction, he stopped me. He had been standing right behind me and he wrapped me into a hug I thought I’d never receive again.

My arms went around his neck and I never wanted to let go. “I honestly don’t know why. I couldn’t sleep so I just came in here by…instinct I guess. I miss you.” I felt warm tears soak my shirt and I pulled away to see tears leaking out of his sapphire eyes.

“I miss you too,” I replied and began hugging him again. I smiled into the crook of his neck as his arms reappeared around my waist. This is how it should be, how I want it to be. No Harry breaking us apart. He let me go and looked at me sadly.

“I still can’t be with you though. I need to know 100% that you want me. I can’t keep wondering if you’re thinking of Harry.” I bit my lip hard and tried not to sob again. Niall’s features looked distressed and tired. “This is so hard for me. You don’t even know.” He mutely mumbled, but I’d heard him anyways. “I love you Niall, forever.” Another tear slipped down his cheek and he soundlessly exited my room, leaving me to have another crying session.

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I opened my eyes and I was curled up into a ball in the corner of my room. The last thing I remember is crying here, but I guess I’d dozed off. I saw a boy across my room and went to him, but pouted as Harry’s face was visible. I immediately turned around and went back to the corner of my room. “Are you, er, alright?” I heard Harry say anxiously.

“Not really,” I answered and covered my face with my knees as I curled up. This helps me feel safer and less worried about life. I flinched when I felt Harry’s hand on my back and moved away. “I just want to help you as, um, a friend.”

I slowly lifted my head and saw Harry’s face up close. His eyes were red like he’d been crying too. It seems like everyone is crying lately. “Can you get my cell phone?” He nodded and went over to my beside table, taking my phone off of the charger and handing it to me. “Thanks,” I mumbled and unlocked my phone screen. I stared at him until he got the hint that I wanted him to leave, and when he finally did, I called Eleanor. I hadn’t talked to her in forever and I needed advice badly.